Bookish Mom Reviews

How to Mellify a Corpse by Vicki Leon

2010-09-28T20:31:00.000-07:00

How to Mellify a Corpse and Other Human Stories of Ancient Science & Superstition by Vicki Leon
(History)

If you or someone you know is a history buff then look no further because I have the perfect book recommendation for you, How to Mellify a Corpse and Other Human Stories of Ancient Science & Superstition by Vicki Leon. Sounds incredibly intriguing; does it not?! And so it is-- if you love to read about where we've been and what we've come from. But, of course, Vicki doesn't just write down the boring and mundane historical facts and move on, certainly not. More to the point, she adds a certain entertaining flair to each ancient tale.

Take for example the story where Vicki delves in to dreams and dream reading [No Matter How Weird, Just Do It (section II)]. Apparently, according to the information here, dream reading dates back to the Greeks. "Greeks were always trying to scope out what the gods meant, what this or that goddess liked or disliked. They also sought divine help with more quotidian matters: the outcome of a pending lawsuit, that chronic rash on Grandpa's buttocks, why a decent husband couldn't be found for an oldest daughter. In search of these truths, they frequently dipped into the rich cornucopia of divination methods available to them, such as oneiromancy or dream reading." Where else are you going to read about how the Greek's inquisitive nature in regards to their dreams ties in with grandpa's red and itchy hindquarters?! My guess is, there probably isn't anyplace else.

But don't worry, it's not all fun and games. There's actually a very hefty helping of scientific meandering through history that seems, to this novice's perspective, to be very thorough and, likely, very accurate on the facts. I must admit that, while I enjoyed drawing some lines through the ancestorial planes to the here and now, I actually think this book is better suited to my husband, a lover of history, than it was to me. In fact, I'm actually quite excited to share How to Mellify... with him as I have the sneaking suspicion he'll get a whole different level of appreciation from it than I did. I certainly enjoyed many of the stories, but for this self proclaimed hater of history (Let me clarify, I do not hate history. I do hate reading about it. Too many facts and I start to glaze over. It's an unfortunate reality I've had to deal with my whole life. Me and history, we just don't go as well together as peanut butter goes with jelly.) I'd be lying if I didn't say that a lot of it went over my head. It's history, so it's loaded to the brim with facts on who did what and when. I get it, that's the point of the book. For me though it was just a little more textbook like than I would pick for myself ordinarily.

However, the amount of time and research that Vicki must have put in to writing this book is simply stunning. Again, I'm no history geek, but I'd have to say it looks pretty thorough to me. From the afterlife to pollution to computers to honey and more, you'd never guess how truly mystifying the world's history is. How do you mellify a corpse anyways; do you know? While I won't be winning any science fairs or writing any history papers anytime in the near future, I can now say in all honesty that I know the answer!

Pick up YOUR copy of How to Mellify a Corpse by Vicki Leon today to learn the answer to this and take on many more intriguing quests for knowledge.

~Bookish Mom Reviews (aka RebekahC)

FIRST WILD CARD BOOK TOUR: God Knows My Name by Beth Redman

2010-07-19T10:57:00.000-07:00

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Beth Redman

and the book:

God Knows My Name: Never Forgotten, Forever Loved

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Beth Redman is an evangelist, songwriter, singer, and author of several books, including Soul Sister and Beautiful. She is also the co-author, along with her husband Matt, of the book Blessed Be Your Name. Recently, Beth and Matt received the Dove Award for the Worship Song of the Year for “Blessed Be Your Name,” which they wrote together. Their combined song-writing skills also produced the popular worship songs “Let My Words Be Few,” “Facedown,” and “You Never Let Go.” The Redmans and their five children live in Atlanta where they serve as part of a team leading Passion City Church with pastors Louie and Shelley Giglio.

Product Details:

List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 192 pages
Publisher: David C. Cook (July 1, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0781403650
ISBN-13: 978-0781403658

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Our parents are often broken people wearing big learner’s plates, like drivers in training, when we arrive in their world. We shouldn’t judge them harshly, but sometimes the parents we need to love us the most can hurt us and let us down.

As a mum, I take it very personally and get a little feisty when my daughter, Maisey-Ella, is bullied or mistreated. I consider it outrageous when I know someone has hurt her, and I find it hard not to intervene.

My husband has told me on many occasions, “You can’t give little girls evil looks, Beth!” My daughter is, quite simply, utterly gorgeous inside and out. Of course she is not perfect, but the problem all of us face is that the world is not going to like us, love us, or be on our side all of the time. Some days we will be misunderstood, blamed, and rejected. But in our home, when Maisey-Ella returns from a miserable day at school, two pairs of loving arms wait for her. Arms that without question are available to wipe away any tear, and hearts of love that speak gentle words of acceptance, reassurance, and a promise that no matter what … we love you, beautiful girl, and we are for you.

Every single human being needs the comfort and reassurance that on the days the tears fall—even if the “world” rejects us—the people who really know us (warts and all) will be there for us. Those people are our parents, our family. Sometimes, though, our family isn’t there.

However, God is an ever-present, all-loving, all-forgiving, amazing Father in heaven. He can override imperfect parenting, soothe any broken spirit, and free any bound-up heart.

I want to tell you my story.

I want to share an amazing story of restoration, a story of the hope that we all have and the truth that I pray will fill you with joy, freedom, and power! I’m not pointing the finger at anyone or trying to make anyone look bad. I simply want to shout out that God heals, restores, has plans for you, and utterly adores you! If we can truly breathe in that truth, we become free to live, free to give, and free to love and accept both others and ourselves. Then, as you breathe that truth out into a hurting and broken world that desperately needs this message of God the Father’s heart for us, God is glorified, and lives are changed and transformed by Him.

My mum was a true saint when I was growing up, and my closest friend. She brought me to church and taught me about God. In public my dad seemed the perfect father, but in private he struggled with anger … and we suffered terrible violence. In my very late teens my parents separated. I don’t think we should place our parents’ mistakes or faults under the microscope and blame them for all our problems and baggage. God teaches us to forgive, and He gives us the grace to do so. He enables us to rise above the harshest of circumstances and to begin again. He rewrites generations of brokenness to give us an incredible hope and future with Jesus.

But I want to tell this story because I believe in a God who restores, and through His power I have seen reconciliation and healing occur in the most broken of families. I know it is possible, and I have always prayed for that with my own father. However, it takes more than just a miracle for that to happen—it also requires the openness and humility of all involved. Since my parents divorced, my dad and I have had sporadic contact. Throughout that time I found it impossible and even destructive to have a normal father-daughter relationship, so I have walked carefully and lived my adult life without him.

During my pregnancy with our third child, I began to have some worrying symptoms, and after the baby’s birth, doctors began to test me for suspected liver disease. The specialist I was seeing told me that, before my liver biopsy, he needed to know as much about my medical background as possible. He asked me to contact all my living relatives and find out if anyone in the family had ever had liver problems. I contacted each family member and very nervously sent an email to my dad. He wrote back immediately, and still to this day I cannot believe his parting words.

He wrote that, yes, there was liver disease in the family, and also cancer, and he hoped I had both.

“Beth,” he wrote, “you deserve to suffer, because suffering would make someone as egotistical and vile as you a better person.”

Wow.

He also threw in some awful comments about Matt and our children that need not be repeated. The email ended with him telling me I was cut out of his will and he had instructed his solicitor never to disclose his death or where he would be buried. While I was waiting for news of my liver condition, my earthly father had just cursed me and condemned my life.

God made us to love and to be loved. My earthly dad knew me, rejected me, and also detested me. Could anything be more painful?

I could hardly breathe. I phoned Matt and read him the email. I called my mum and my best friend, Anna. Inside I was crying out, Someone tell me I am loved! Please take away the pain of this horrific rejection—the words had gone so deep it felt as though my inmost parts were bleeding. I was desperate for a deeper love, validation, and acceptance. No human words could soothe me.

I put down the phone and gasped for air.

I cried out to my God … my true, amazing Father, my heavenly, forever Father, the One who knows all my failures and shortcomings and yet has never ever rejected me. He wrote my name on the palms of His hands and He stretched out His arms, and as He was viciously nailed to a cross, He separated me from my sin forever and loved me enough to die unjustly. He walked a journey of horrific agony—pleading, being taunted—and He carried my cross, my death, my past, and my sin. His love was enough as He cried out, “It is finished!” So now death and pain, brokenness and rejection, where are your sting? Everything I ever need in life is now accessible and available to me through His death.

Our God is a God who saves and who accepts and who can heal us completely. His love outweighed the words of a wounded man whose own life was so broken that he knew only how to crush others. I faced up to the pain of the situation, but at the same time knew a beautiful and powerful revelation that spoke louder than all of those other words: Though my father may forsake me, my God will never reject me. Though my earthly dad may try to erase me from his life, I shall never be forgotten. In that moment I knew a deep and permanent truth covering over the whole of my life: that God knows my name.

My Father in heaven adores me, has plans to prosper me and supernatural arms to hold me. He is with me by His Spirit every time a situation threatens to overwhelm and whenever I want to hide away and give in to the insecure, evil thoughts that come knocking. My God would never reject or forget me. He did not forget me in my time of need. From heaven He called out to me reminding me that I am His! Because He made me, He knows me, and He loves me! I am His forever. God spoke to me powerfully from His Word:

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and

have no compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See,

I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.

(Isa. 49:15–16)

You are known by name by the Living God, the loving heavenly Father. He made you, He redeemed you, He hears you, and never ever will He forget you. Hallelujah!

In this book I want to share with you some of the powerful ways that God helped me overrule such a massive rejection with His glorious eternal truth. I hope this can help you in your own life and enable you to help others.

Isaiah 43:1–4 says this:

But now, this is what the LORD says—

he who created you, O Jacob,

he who formed you, O Israel:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.…

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,

and because I love you.”

In this passage, there are several truths for us to grasp, which I want to break down and look at one by one in this chapter.

God Knows Your Name

“I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” (Isa. 43:1)

A name is given and considered. A name imparts meaning, value, identity, and significance. Your name was chosen specifically, and especially, for you. A name gives both humanity and dignity to a person. The Enemy would have you live a nameless existence—feeling anonymous, illegitimate, unknown, unimportant, inglorious, and unfit to be named. Nineteenth-century London was a time of such material, emotional, and spiritual poverty that “children were so utterly uncared for that some were even without names, and were known to each other by nicknames.”

In direct contrast, God says that He has a name for us. Where we feel worthless and insignificant He bestows worth and significance upon us when He calls us by name and chooses us for His glory.

Anyone expecting a child has flipped through baby-name books, looking at the meanings and origins of names and thinking about how they sound. I’ve found names I loved and then been dismayed to find out they meant something like harlot, wench, or crooked nose!

Someone recently told me of a child who had been named Jezebel Harlot! That’s a pretty negative connotation to speak over a child every time she is called. Ideally, a name needs to suit the person carrying it. When my husband suggested that we name our third child “Rocco Redman,” I thought he had gone a bit mad! Normally my husband’s track record in making decisions is spot on. There really is no point arguing with Mr. Matthew Redman because over the years I have found he is nearly always right. However, on this occasion, I wasn’t so sure.

I wanted our third child to be called Benjamin, but Matt got the older children on board—and in the end I came to peace with the fact that if he was anything like his dad and his brother and sister, he would easily live up to something as strong and bold as Rocco! The name means “rest,” and so far he has turned out to be the most relaxed, peaceful, deep-sleeping, and gentle-spirited boy… and he has the confidence and joy required to be Rocco Redman. In new environments, his name still causes a little reaction, but it is so perfect for him, and I love that every time I write or call him by his full name, Rocco Benjamin Courage, I am affirming and speaking rest, sonship, bravery, and boldness over him.

In the same way, your Father God named you as precious, chosen, and beloved. You may not be named Rocco, but when God calls you, He speaks over you His truth, freedom, and life. Your part is to make a good choice—to continually believe and live under those things He named you and never to seek to hide behind another name. Many of us each day live under other labels that the Enemy has given us from past or present experiences—unwanted, failure, doubter, ugly, unlovely, needy, drama queen, mistake, disgrace, shamed, forgotten, and many more lies.

Those thoughts and feelings cannot possibly originate from God—for He is the giver of good and perfect gifts, and the God of all comfort. Those negative impressions of yourself and the words my own dad wrote in his email to me originate from the Enemy—who we know to be a dirty liar.

Perhaps you think your problems and insecurities are too great to overcome. By the kindness and mercy of God in my own life, I can assure you that this is not the case. I was abused physically, put down verbally, and rejected. I suffered humiliation many times and sadly began to act out how I felt about myself. In public I felt wretchedly insecure. I couldn’t go out with friends without feeling self-conscious and unimportant. I hated myself inside and out.

Then Jesus called my name. And everything changed. I hardly recognize the person I was back then. Our names may conjure up memories, but not always truth. I know that ultimately I am defined not by what others think of me when they hear my name, or what my earthly father says about me. Instead, the authority and compassion of the God who called my name define me. He loves, He shapes, He convicts, and He lavishes us with affirmation.

It’s time we heard His voice the loudest.

God Made Me

This is what the LORD says—

He who created you, O Jacob,

He who formed you, O Israel. (Isa. 43:1)

Part of understanding the depths of God’s knowledge of us lies in grasping the importance of the fact that He made us.

Psalm 139:13–14 puts it beautifully:

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and

wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

The phrase inmost being is literally translated “kidneys.” In Hebrew idiom this meant the innermost center of the emotions and the moral sensitivity of a person’s heart.2 Here we see that God does not just know us as a casual acquaintance or simply acknowledge our existence, marvelous though that would be for the God of heaven to do such a thing. Rather, He knows who we are right down to the final detail. God knows how you work, how you think, what makes you happy, what makes you sad. He knows the last time you cried, and what you cried about. He knows what you would like for your birthday, and He actually cares about it too. The amazing thing is you don’t actually have to tell Him all of this. He just knows, because He made you, He sees you, He hears you, and He loves you. He knows you better than you know yourself.

He knows what you need before a word is even spoken from your mouth or articulated in your heart.

God Speaks Worth Over Me

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you.” (Isa. 43:4)

The first thing God said when He looked at His creation was, “It is good.” The very fact that God made you means you are wonderful!

The psalmist declares: “Your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Ps. 139:14). Yet God didn’t just make you, then say, “What a great job,” and leave you on a shelf. No, He pursues a relationship

with you, He gives His life for you, that He may know you daily, deeply, and eternally.

Just before we were married, Matt received an invitation from Buckingham Palace. When Matt read the guest list he was a little intimidated. Top sports personalities, journalists, and film stars— and my fiancé! When he eventually met the Queen, along with Prince Charles, Matt performed a fumbled bow and stood back in shock. That was the Queen!

He couldn’t believe he had been chosen to hold out his hand and meet her majesty face-to-face. Somehow Matt had been deemed worthy of a moment with the Queen and her son, and he felt truly humbled. What a privilege!

Yet the truth is that there is a higher honor—a more amazing invitation that lies open for all of us. God in heaven; the Lord of all creation; the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; the God of your pastor and your friends who are missionaries abroad; the God of Corrie ten Boom and Martin Luther; the Author of life; the Beginning and the End—He extends the hand of friendship to you! Just as Matt was invited to stand alongside celebrities and dignitaries before the Queen at Buckingham Palace, so too are we invited to stand before the God of heaven and earth as an equal alongside great heroes of the faith … and not just to meet Him but to know Him! He speaks His love and your worth loudly over you today.

Listen closely: Isaiah 61:3 says that He bestows on us “a crown of beauty instead of ashes,” and Psalm 103:4 says that God “redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.”

Anyone wearing a crown holds her head up high. She does not have an identity problem. She has been given honor and dignity.

God speaks worth over you. He declares His love for you. You are precious in His sight. Just like when I speak rest, sonship, and courage over my child, every time God calls your name He speaks worth and

value over you. He knows you intimately because He made you, and He loves you completely.

God Hears Me

“I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” (Isa. 43:3)

It is a fundamental human need to be heard and understood. In fact, if we feel that we are not heard, we feel a vast sense of loneliness and emptiness. If we are not heard, we do not feel understood, and if

we do not feel understood, we will not feel known. The whole point about God knowing our names, and about Him making us, is that He knows us. When we discover that we are known and understood by a friend, it can be profoundly moving. Sometimes a really good friend may understand us better than we understand ourselves.

Tom Marshall, in his book Right Relationships, says that no one can survive for long unless “we feel that somebody understands us, somebody knows what we are feeling and somebody appreciates our real desires and intentions.”3 And yet, however powerful being known and understood by a friend or your partner can be, no one can know you better or understand you more than God Himself.

Psalm 139:1–4 puts it magnificently:

O LORD, you have searched me

and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O LORD.

Some people might find this depth of understanding quite frightening—and indeed there is always a risk attached to loving and being loved, knowing and being known. God knows us completely and utterly. Our thoughts, feelings, and emotions are an open book to God. He sees what we do, and He hears what we say even before we say it, or even when we’re not talking to Him! He knows what you are doing and why you are doing it. More importantly, He knows your dreams, your ambitions, and your longings. But how can we know for ourselves that God really knows us in our inmost being, completely and utterly?

We know that we are known because He hears us.

When we know that God hears us, it transforms us from being fearful, doubting God’s love, mercy, and goodness, into people who can be certain of His love for us. When God spoke to me through that song on my iPod, through the beautiful words of Isaiah 49, I knew that He had heard my cry—and He stepped in very powerfully at that moment, speaking His Word of life over me.

God was faithful to me through His real, tangible words of truth. I had a choice. I knew I did not have to believe my earthly father’s words. My heavenly Father had seen my pain and had answered me in a deeply personal way from His Word.

God Has Not Forgotten Me

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.” (Isa. 43:2)

Sometimes we can know the truth of God in our minds, but not let it sink into our hearts. Or perhaps we have experienced a time of spiritual dryness, a time of suffering, or a time of God’s silence. During these times, it can feel like God has forgotten us. This can be frightening and even cause us to question the truth and reality of God.

A friend recently told me that her current situation makes her feel as though she was five years old again and her father has forgotten to pick her up from school. That is a very real and deeply unsettling feeling, and it can shake our faith and our trust in God to the core. My situation is telling me You are not here and You are not coming. Where are You, God? Yet the true extent of God’s care and concern for us is breathtaking:

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6–7)

God is not like your earthly father. Difficult circumstances do not mean He has failed or abandoned you. He has not left you at the school gate. God does not forget the child He made. He has not put you to one side while He is busy with other people. He is not bored with you, and He did not leave you midproject. He adores you. In fact, He promises (and God is incapable of breaking a promise) in

Joshua 1:5, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” He continually watches over you. “He [takes] great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” (Zeph. 3:17).

God is continually at pains to remind us not to be afraid, because He is with us. If He is with us, how can He forget us?

If you feel forgotten, I want to encourage you to believe the Word of God when He says, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matt. 28:20).

Call out to the Lord, and He will answer you. Wait patiently for the Lord, for He will turn to you and hear your cry. God loves you, He hears you, He speaks to you, and He will rescue you. Amen!

©2010 Cook Communications Ministries. God Knows My Name by Beth Redman. Used with permission. May not be further reproduced. All rights reserved.

When Did I Get Like This? by Amy Wilson

2010-07-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, The Worrier, The Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget Buyer & Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be by Amy Wilson
(Non-Fiction)

Motherhood is a walk of life unlike any other. No matter how many opportunities you have to be around kids, until they are your own you can't possibly understand the complete affect that mommyhood (or daddyhood) will have you. You strive every moment of every day to be your absolute best. With television, magazines, and self help books promoting the utmost perfection you see your options as limited. I must not fail. I must not be subpar. Being a parent will not own me; I will own being a parent. Thoughts like these rush through any parent's head as he or she is in the throws of parenting an at home child. It's God's gift to us. He has to worry over us and we in turn have to worry over our own offspring. It is simply a fact of life.

But even knowing this is a fact that encompasses EVERY parent and not just you alone does not make living through the situation(s) any easier. Raising kids is a chore and a half. It's a hard job, and it wouldn't be completely with lots of up's and down's. You know what else? It is completely and utterly worth every minute. Being a parent is a gift unlike any other, and you can never fully understand that until you've had the opportunity to try it on firsthand.

Amy Wilson, author of When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, The Worrier, The Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be, understands this theory all too well. As she goes on to describe in her book, being a mother is anything but easy. You constantly feel like you have to measure up to the world's standards and by the world's standards I mean those of all parents within a 100 mile radius of you. You don't want your child to be considered "that" child or the one whose parents do everything wrong. You don't want to be solely responsible for scarring your child for life simply because you didn't get him/her into the best preschool available in your area or because you choose to spend time washing your hair and dressing yourself instead of using that valuable time to pick out darling son or daughter's best outfit for church. It's a constant struggle to live up to the expectations that society puts upon you as a parent, and still at the end of each day as long as you've done your best you have to realize that nothing more is necessary. Your children will not grow up stunted. They will not, in all likelihood, hate you. Infact, they'll probably even love you.

I myself adore being a parent, even when the times get tough and it's hard to know what I should do. Now 7+ years in, I couldn't even being to imagine my life without my little girls. All the joy they bring to me on a daily basis is well worth the internal struggles I may go through when weighing up my own inadequacies as a parent. Amy Wilson, like me, understands this. She understands that no matter how perfect a parent you strive to be, you'll never quite attain that golden halo. Because despite your best efforts, you'll often times end up being merely mediocre.

I think Amy put it best when she said, "Again and again, motherhood will throw at me things for which I will feel, and may indeed be, completely unprepared. What will decide whether or not I am a good mother is not whether I am ready for such times, but how I move through the door." Does that not sum it up beautifully? Parenting is such a simple yet completely complex adventure. Like those childhood books where you choose how the story plays out, there is no definitive plan you must follow. There will be options along the way where you will have to decide what is more important and what direction you want to go. Assuming you truly put your child's best interests at heart then in the end your child will turn out just fine.

As a parent you will bend over backwards on behalf of your child, and still you may not always feel appreciated. Even when you've lived up to and surpassed your own incredibly high expectations, you may not find yourself receiving that nod of acknowledgment you so deeply crave. Whether it's at home, school, church, or even among friends; unfortunately, it comes with the territory. Amy describes just this in the story she tells about helping her son work on an extravagant class scrapbook which was to detail, in pictures, his weekend visit with the class [stuffed] pig. All the previous entries in the photo scrapbook were very extreme and anything but boring. Amy felt an urgent need to spice up her family's usually boring weekend at home, but no one else was feeling the urge. Met with a lack of indifference from her son, Amy was left to complete the project on her own. Spending an unseemly amount of time making it just right, Amy anxiously awaited her son's return from school that Monday afternoon so she could hear all about how much the teacher and class loved the newly scrapped pages. "Once again, I had been had. Not only were my exertions unappreciated, they were not even noticed. However, had I handed in a picture of Connor's unopened backpack with a caption saying "This is where Penny spent the weekend at our house. Then she suffocated. The End," that would have been certain to come back and bit me in the ass. The things a mother does well are always invisible compared to the things she does badly." This just goes to show that in the end it really shouldn't be about what other people think, say, or do, but what you, yourself, are ready and willing to do for the pure and simple fact of doing it for your child.

Truthfully, I could go on and on about this subject, but it's one I too find particularly close to my heart. The honest to goodness truth of the matter is though, I'm no where near as funny as Amy. So, rather than me prattling on and on about my own thoughts and opinions on the subject, let me just direct you to Amy's book. When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, The Worrier, The Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be is by far one of the funniest books on parenting I've ever had the pleasure of reading. It's no wonderful Amy is the star of her own popular one-woman show titled Mother Load. (Which I might add, I really really wish would come to Oklahoma!!!) It's a hilarious tale of motherhood through the eyes of one of us. Amy writes from within the inner sanctum of mommyville, capturing perfectly the charm and sheer craziness of being a parent (mom or dad). With a unique perspective that only someone on the inside can have, Wilson shares some of her darkest mommy moments and how through them she became an even stronger mom, woman, and wife. It's candidly smart and funny, and is for sure a book any mother would be blessed to read.

Thank you to Amy and her agent who allowed me this review opportunity. It's been an incredible delight and honor!

~Bookish Mom aka RebekahC

A Word from Wendy Wax

2010-06-22T11:29:00.001-07:00

It was a real pleasure reading and reviewing Magnolia Wednesdays a few weeks back, and now I'm honored to host here at Bookish Mom Reviews the following guest post by it's author Ms Wendy Wax!

The Hat I'm Wearing

Like most working moms (that would be ALL of us, of course!) I’m a serious multi-tasker and wear a lot of hats. I’m the grocery shopper, the primary cook, the laundress, the chauffeur, the homework nag, the fan in the stands—whatever it takes at that moment to make our home and our lives run smoothly. I’m also a writer with deadlines and other professional responsibilities.

I’m both proud of and horrified by how many things I can accomplish in one day and have become somewhat addicted to the thrill that comes with crossing something off the daily ‘to do’ list. It’s a great psychological ‘pat on the back’ – something homemakers and mothers all too rarely get.

I have been known to whine on occasion, but mostly I’m OK with constantly juggling work and home.

However, who I am at any particular point in time can be confusing. (This is not an esoteric issue but one of name and identity.) Because I married late and was attached to and known by maiden name, I decided that I would keep it professionally and take my husband’s last name legally and socially.

So I stayed Wendy Wax for work and became someone else entirely in our personal life. As a longtime ‘W’ it’s been kind of nice to shoot up to the beginning of the alphabet, even though my days of being called on in class or lining up alphabetically are pretty much over. At the time I decided to split my identities, everything was separate and easily defined; I did talent work and video and film production then and my two worlds rarely collided.

But then I had children as one person and sold my first book as another. And the confusion inherent in having two distinct identities began.

After all these years of split personality, I still occasionally get confused.

Am I the baseball mom working concession, taking tickets or cheering from the stands?

Or the author in the bleachers staring down at her laptop instead of the game trying to complete one more chapter?

Am I the guest speaker whose audience will be enthralled by everything I say?

Or the mother who talks to walls because she lives in a house of males with highly selective hearing?

Am I out in the world driving car pool, shopping for groceries, and picking up the dry cleaning? Or am I the frantic writer on deadline, holed up in my office unshowered and still wearing pajamas?

Sometimes I have to stop and take a minute to figure this out. I need to get my name straight in my mind before I walk into that room.

I read an article recently about how important it is not to separate the parts of your life but let them all exist and flow together. But if I were unable to shut out my real world for long enough periods of time, I would never have completed a novel let alone eight of them. And there have been times when real life got tough, and it was nice to be able to retreat into the fantasy world I was creating. Reading is a great escape and so is writing.

Most of my novels are set in the suburbs and revolve around women living lives similar to mine.

My characters, like most of the women I know, tend to wear many hats and sometimes feel overwhelmed.

I’m not sure that there’s any solution to this, but if we ever meet and I hesitate slightly before I introduce myself, just know that it’s not at all about you.

It’s all about me trying to remember which hat I’m wearing. And whether it’s time to change it. -Wendy Wax, author of Magnolia Wednesdays

Magnolia Wednesdays by Wendy Wax

2010-06-14T11:48:00.000-07:00

Magnolia Wednesdays by Wendy Wax
(Fiction)

Top notch journalist Vivian Gray has it all. She’s got the investigative reporting career of her dreams and the most amazing boyfriend she could ever hope for. Life is perfect. But as quickly as success found her, so is Vivian left scrambling for some semblance of the life she knew. Chasing a lead, Vivian travels to the depths of a New York City parking garage in hopes of getting the undercover skinny on what could very well be a huge Wall Street scandal. However, things go horribly awry, and Vivian not only loses her jump on what could have been an incredible story, but she also is suddenly the laughing stock of America. Plus to make matters worse, Vivian finds herself on the outs with her network. Apparently being forty one makes her too old to draw the ratings they’re looking for, so they’re bringing in someone new- someone younger and fresher to take her place. Unwilling to just roll over and take the hit quietly, Vivian quits. She understands the position she’s in; it’s a nightmare. Lucky for Vivian it’s one that can most definitely not get any worse. Or so she thinks.

A call from her doctor quickly dispels that theory though. For what Vivian finds out is nothing short of shocking- she’s pregnant! With her longtime war correspondent boyfriend Stone, on assignment in Afghanistan, Vivian finds herself unable to burden him with the astounding news. It’s not that she will never tell him, but it’s a doozie and something she wants to wait for just the right moment share.

Down and out on her luck, Vivian discovers that finding a new job isn’t as easy as she’d expected. Apparently her old network isn’t the only one that sees age as being a stumbling block instead of a stepping stone of experience. And whether she planned for it or not, Vivian is pregnant and she simply must find a job if she’s got any hope of supporting herself. That’s why when a lowly gossip column position becomes available, despite her very nature to shy away from it in disgust, Vivian puts herself forward and claims the job as her own.

It’s not a pretty job, but it’s one Vivian believes she can handle. She’ll have to do it discreetly of course, or risk making an even bigger name for herself, and not in a good way. And she really has been meaning to visit her sister down South in the Georgian suburbs. What better time than now? She can kill three birds with one stone. She can hide out from all the recent unwanted media attention. She can spend some time with her family. And best of all, it’ll be the perfect cover for her less than honorable research she intends to do to write her new column Postcards from Suburbia.

If only she’d known then how terribly wrong she was.

The goldmine of possible column ideas is simply unprecedented here in suburbia. Even Vivi, as her sister Melanie likes to call her, wasn’t prepared for the limitless, rant worthy wealth. Be that as it may, Vivi begins to find herself being drawn in more and more by the people she’s come to know as friends here in the Atlanta suburbs. Noting her initial impressions wrong, Vivi finds she’s starting to understand and even appreciate some of the formally foreign nuances of suburbia. The trouble is, she still has a column to write. So, personal feelings of guilt aside, if she expects to bring home a paycheck Vivian must continue to come up with something to write about, never mind the repercussions that could entail if she’s ever found out.

It’s a roller coaster of emotions and constant string of stupid mistakes. But at the end of the day, it’s Vivi’s life. And she’s hoping against all hope that it’ll not end up toppling over leaving her grasping for straws. Yet only time will tell…

Magnolia Wednesdays is by far one of the best books I’ve ever read, and certainly the best I’ve had the privilege to read so far this year. Written with what seems a flawless ease, this story was riveting and completely one hundred percent realistic. It’s written as a work of fiction, yet could easily be based on someone real’s life. For you see, the suburbs described in this story could just as easily been here in my town in Oklahoma as opposed to Georgia. The calls Vivian made on how life revolves around status and kids was very true. Of course, like Vivi discovers in the story this is not always a bad thing. There can certainly be too much competition and schedule overload, but these alone are not pigeon holed to the ‘burbs either.

I found Wax’s point of view refreshingly honest, and I loved how well thought out Vivian’s story was. It was carefully designed to show real life through the eyes of both the outsider and the insider, and that made it so much fun to read. The thoughts and actions that defined Wax’s characters were the same ones that exist in the real world on a daily basis. It was easy to relate to the women in Magnolia Wednesdays because of the time and care spent in developing them and their stories. I could understand and relate to them. I could feel their joy and sense their pain. In short, it was amazing.

This was my first introduction to Wendy Was, and now that I’ve been given a taste of her delicious brilliance I cannot wait to see what fine wonders her others titles bring to the table!!!

Many thanks to Joan Schulhafer and Caitlin Brown for this chance to read and review Magnolia Wednesdays. It’s been a real pleasure!

~Bookish Mom, aka Rebekah C

Postcards from a Dead Girl by Kirk Farber

2010-06-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

Postcards from a Dead Girl by Kirk Farber
(Fiction)

Sid used to be in love- still is in a sense. But the day his girlfriend Zoe left him she took a little piece of Sid with her. Therefore, when scenic postcards, from faraway venues they were supposed to visit together, start showing up in his mailbox the already unbalanced Sid really begins to come undone at the seams. Reason being, Zoe didn't just up leave- she's dead. So how is she mailing him postcards from a trip she couldn't have possibly have ever taken?

Determined to understand what is going on, Sid throws himself head first into the mystery- going a little more crazy each day that he does. Skipping work, inventing health issues, and traveling the globe; all are a means to an end if Sid has anything to say about it. The trouble is, Sid needs help. The neurotic behavior is taking over every aspect of his life, and sadly his downward spiral is bound to come to a bone jolted end all too soon.

Wanting nothing but the best for her brother, Sid's sister tries to be supportive but lacks the ability to break through his delusional shell. Maybe a new girlfriend would be just what the doctor ordered. Getting Sid to accept this and understand how important letting go of his past is may be harder than originally expected. However, maybe if she keeps on him while still allowing him the necessary time for self discovery Sid will manage to come out on top. But hey, if all else fails, he'll always have his dead mother's spirit, which stays in a wine bottle in the cellar, to keep him company.

I'm not sure what to make of this book. It was a quick and easy read, quite quirky and entertaining. Yet somehow I felt lost at the end. I mean, I really enjoy a good twisted tale that leaves you, the reader, grappling with the facts and trying to figure it all out. A well written tale that leaves some mystery without being totally transparent is a huge literary turn on, but for me personally I think I took a wrong turn and lost the connection. It's just that there were certain aspects that made perfect sense, while others left me completely in the dark saying "huh???". I can't necessarily fault the author on this one though. It's entirely possible that the author failed to fill in a detail or two; yet, just as likely is the fact that the disconnect could have been in my own head.

All the same, I truly enjoyed Kirk Farber's Postcards from a Dead Girl, and I'm glad to have read it. Thank you to my contact at Harper Perennial for offering the review copy! =)

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

The Bird Room by Chris Killen

2010-04-29T13:16:00.000-07:00

The Bird Room by Chris Killen
(Fiction)

First time novelist Chris Killen shows the world he's not an amateur with his debut release, The Bird Room. Set in modern day UK, this is a book that delves deeply into the struggle and chaos of emotional and sexual dysfunction. Told through two separate stories that eventually conjoin via their social awkwardness, it's a book ripe with dark, filthy angst. The main characters constantly struggle with a lack of self esteem and confidence in themselves on a personal level. The intensity of it all quickly causes it to ebb over into these character's entire beings making their jobs, family, friends, and romantic and sexual relationships all swiftly begin to suffer.

Will isn't anything special, but his girl April is. He's one hundred percent sold on her, yet because he lacks the self respect and confidence necessary to maintain it, his relationship is on the chopping block. Resolution is merely a conversation away; however, Will doesn't seem to be able to give himself or the relationship the benefit of the doubt. A darkness grows within him, and as the self loathing continues to overcome him so does the inevitable truth about his relationship with Alice.

Clair used to be a good girl. She used to live a normal life and do normally mundane things. Now though she's anything but normal. Hoping against all hope to one day make something wonderful of herself, Clair- who now calls herself Helen, is living out her life through the mostly vile fantasies of others. It's not the life she's always envisioned for herself. She's become an actress alright, but not the kind living the glamourous life of fame and fortune. Just making it through the day is a struggle, and without some kind of intervention Clair, or Helen, won't be winding up on the cover of any magazines- not the good ones anyways.

The Bird Room is a story of love, hate, self loathing, and self discovery. It's raw, gritty, vulgar, and disturbing. Not a feel good love story, and still one that draws the reader in with it's wildly wicked storyline. Everybody has bad days; though for most of us the days come to and end and when the next one starts everything is just peachy keen once again. Will and Helen aren't as lucky, and their stories tend to weigh on the darker side of things. And that right there is what makes their troubled tales so intriguing.

Thank you to Harper Perennial Books for my opportunity to review this title.

~Bookish Mom, aka Rebekah C

The Path of Razors by Chris Marie Green

2010-03-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

The Path of Razors: Vampire Babylon by Chris Marie Green

(Fantasy)

In this, the fifth Vampire Babylon book from Chris Marie Green, Dawn Madison is back, and the battle of good versus evil continues. However, now more than ever the line between the two is fogged.

Hoping to discover London's hidden Underground, a massive vampire lair, Dawn and her unlikely team are on a hunt to scourge and take down the master vampire. It won't be an easy task, but lives and souls are at stake. To take down the master would be to take down the Underground, and to take down the Underground... Well, that would be the ultimate victory.

Yet when the group discovers their closest link to the Underground isn't a vicious looking vampire but instead a bunch of uniformed school girls, they are left to wonder "What are we missing?!" It's no secret that vamps can come in any number of shapes or sizes, still a class of girls from the local private school is a rather unlikely candidate. And then it begins...

Inside the school girl ranks there's a power struggle taking place and one day, perhaps sooner rather than later, the tiered social structure is going to buckle. Only one girl can be top dog, but when two straddle the line and act first, thinking later, the damages are done. Dawn's peculiar gang has no choice but to probe into their secretive lives in order to gain some direction as to where they come from and why. Is it possible this is the link the team has been searching for?

I've read 3 of the preceeding 4 books in this series, and of all of them I found Dawn's story in this installment to be one of the weaker ones. For me there was more gusto and appeal in the school girls' story. Infact, if it wasn't for their story I might not have been as likely to stick it out with this book to the end. That said though, there is a certain strength to be found as we see the two distinctly separate yet conjoined stories being told. While Dawn's story is dependent on that of the school girls and their ties to the Underground, it's their story that really brings the backbone to the book.

I'm sorry this review isn't better written, but I've tried for several days and just keep coming up blank. As a whole I did enjoy the book, but it was not a favorite of mine by this author or in general. I know there was a sixth installment due out as well, and it's pretty certain I'll be checking it out at some point. I don't see myself rushing to grab a copy though as The Path of Razors really didn't leave me with that urge of wanting more.

~Bookish Mom, aka Rebekah C.

The Marriage Project Blog Tour

2010-02-21T22:37:00.000-08:00

The Marriage Project: 21 Days to More Love and Laughter by Kathi Lipp
(Love & Marriage)

Marriage is a funny thing.

When a couple first gets together everything is exciting and new. Both partners are simply head over heels about one another, and there's never a dull moment. Kisses, whispered sweet nothings, breakfast in bed, lazy walks to no where in particular, conversations about anything and everything that can go on and on for hours. These are just a small sampling of the things relationships are made up of in the beginning. And then time to starts slip by. We grow together but we also grow apart. There can be many reasons for such changes- as we grow older our interests change, our physical appearances change (for better or worse), our family grows to include children, and time in general becomes thinned out by all the new responsibilities we've taken on as a couple and as individuals.

It's an unfortunate truth that, sadly, many couples haven't figured out how to recover from. Hence the unseemly number of separations, divorces, and just generally unhappy couples our world has become accustomed to seeing these days. No one expects us to go on living in the "honeymoon" stage for the rest of our lives, but shouldn't there be a happy medium between the "newly wed" and the "newly dead" marriage stage?

Kathi Lipp, author of The Marriage Project believes so. What if, instead of growing apart as we grow up we actually grow closer together? Kathi believes that despite the number of distractions we, as couples, face in today's hustle and bustle there is still plenty of room for growth. If you have kids there's no denying the fact that they are likely the primary focus of your relationship. They just are. You want everything to be the best it can be for them and that means if you sacrafice time with your spouse in order to make it happen then so be it. It's an honorable thing to want the very best for your kids, but what would be even better for your kids would be to see mom and dad falling truely, madly, and deeply back in love like in the days before kids and all that grown up responsiblity really set in. And why can't a happy, fulfilling marriage be great for the parents as well as for the kids?

No matter whether you have an already brilliant marriage or are struggling to maintain a once spectacular but now dulled marriage. Kathi believes that in just 21 days you can not only improve your marriage, but make it like it was in those first days of courtship. You don't have to have a marriage on the rocks to want to make it better. Everyone can always improve on something, and better to work on improvements before they're absolutely necessary.

Every strong successful marriage should include intimacy, warmth, tenderness, and fun. And it's these things exactly that Kathi's book helps couples to rediscover and include in their own relationships. Reader who follow along with the book's 21 day marriage project will not only make themselves better as individuals but they'll increase the love and connection between themselves and their partners. A plan that includes step by step detailed instructions on how to wow and woo your significant other is neither time consuming or costly, but it does require you to invest yourself.

Written with an easy application process in mind, this is a book that any couple at any stage of life can follow. For each of the 21 days readers will find a new project to complete. It may be something as simple as writing a loving note to their partner, or it may be more indepth such as requiring the couple to plan a special date night. Again, nothing is too extravagant, and the entire purpose of the book is to help bring couples closer together. Especially for those of us with kids in the home, one day they'll grow up and move out. What will we be left with then if for the past 18+ years we've done nother to strengthen our relationship with our spouse but have invested all of our time and money in our kids? We'll be left with nothing. That much time and energy later do you really think both you and your partner are going to be the same people that you married? It's doubtful. Sure you'll both be the same person to an extent, but you can go for that much time and through that many life changing events and not be changed. Why not change together and ensure when the time comes that your kids are grown, you'll still have something in common besides being their parents?

I believe I already have a wonderful marriage, but I'm not so prideful as to believe it can't be better. With that being said, I can't wait to start this project!

Mini Author Bio

Kathi Lipp is a national speaker and author who inspires women to take beneficial action steps in their personal, marital and spiritual lives. Her wit and wisdom will give you new ways to:

Avoid settling for less than God’s loving plan for your life.
Develop new levels of warmth and tenderness with your husband
Return fun and flirting to your marriage
Boost your confidence to follow God-given dreams and goals.
Create and environment of encouragement in your friendships

Join Kathi and renovate your life with a project for your soul!

Thanks to Kathi and her publisher for this wonderful review opportunity!!! It's been a real pleasure. :)

~Bookish Mom (aka RebekahC)

Most Interesting Bookstores of the World

2010-02-15T14:57:00.000-08:00

Saw someone else share this link online, and I thought it was worth reposting here. Are these bookstores not totally awesome? I love The Lello in Porto, Portugal.

When you're done checking out the bookstores, click the link at the bottom of the page to check out the "Most Interesting Libraries" as well. They're all amazing!

Abe's Weird Book Room

2009-12-28T08:57:00.000-08:00

This morning when I checked my e-mail I had the lastest edition of The Observer's VSL (Very Short List) waiting for me. This is a daily e-mail I always look forward to getting because you never know what exactly it's going to include from one time to the next. The focus of the VSL is always on little known products or websites that deserve a big shout out. Ones that haven't already been over hyped and yet completely need to be seen. But, what, you may be wondering, does this have to do with Bookish Mom Reviews. The answer to that is quiet simple really. Today's e-mail was about Abe's Weird Book Room.

Many have likely heard of Abesbooks.co.uk the online book site were visitors can search, buy, and sell books of all kinds (including text books and rare books). Yet what many may not have heard of, I hadn't anyways, is Abe's Weird Book Room. With such noted titles as The Teach Your Chicken to Fly Training Manual by Trevor Weekes, The English: Are They Human? by G.J. Renier, and The Beverly Hillbillies Bible Study by Stephen Skelton it's easy to see why it's called the "Weird Book Room". Infact this section of Abe's site includes only books with the weirdest, strangest titles and subject matter that can be found. There were so many funny ones I figured I just had to pass the link along to all my own viewers and subscribers. Because a heart that follows after books, and even one that doesn't, is sure to get a kick out what you'll find there!

So, without any further delay, I bring you Abe's Weird Book Room!

365 Perfect Things to Say to Your Kids by Maureen Healy

2009-12-27T23:05:00.000-08:00

365 Perfect Things to Say to Your Kids by Maureen Healy
(Parenting/Child Development)

Everyone knows that in order for a child to grow up strong, healthy, and intelligent he needs to be well taken care of in the physical and mental sense. There should be shelter, appropriate clothes, healthy foods, and education. But what if these physical and mental things were the only aspects of a child's development we, as parents, paid attention to? What if we were to give our child everything in the way of food, clothes, protection, and education but never take the time to build them up emotionally? What would happen if a child's emotional well being fell to the wayside and was never nutured or encouraged?

In a perfect world no child would go without any of the above, yet unfortunately in today's busy society there are many parents/grandparents/educators who overlook the importance of an emotional upbringing. Every child should live a rewarding life. In order to make this more a reality than just an idea, it is important for parents to empower, educate, and inspire their offspring. Through open lines of communication and a parenting style that comes from the heart, we as parents can not only impact our children in the here and now but forever through the words and teachings we instill in them. For words hurt and words heal. It's all in the way you use them.

Shakespeare once wrote, "The voice of parents is the voice of gods; for their children they are heaven's lieutenants." Buddha is quoted as having said, "Whatever words we utter should be chose with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill." That is to say, what we put in to our children emotionally is going to come out of them ten fold. If we work to influence their emotional beings through uplifting and encouraging conversations and dialogue we stand a chance of not only teaching our children social and emotional intelligences but also of creating in them more rounded, joyful, compassionate, and confident adults.

In her book, 365 Perfect Things to Say to Your Kids Maureen Healy shows in length just how many ways parents can incite their children and help make them more emotionally aware, insightful, and happy. Written in a list format, Healy's book is broken down in to three main segments: EMPOWERING (Where "your child gains: courage, confidence, optimism, connection, and self-trust.") , EDUCATING (Where "your child learns about: emotional awareness, social and service learning, ethical living, and universal truths."), and INSPIRING (Where "your child connects with his or her: inspiration, imagination, creativity, love of nature, art, and spirit."). In each she lists many suggested conversation starters that a parent can use to create a exchange with his or her child(ren). Many are thought provoking on a child's level, but many seem a little cheesy. I guess in that regard, this is one of those books you must pick and choose from. Not everything will work for everyone, yet I'm sure each person who reads this book will be able to pick out several key elements they find beneficial and helpful on some level.

I have to admit that my first impression of Maureen's book wasn't exactly the best. Truth be told, I thought a lot of her suggested conversation starters were just corny and sometimes lame. I get what she was trying to achieve through them; they just, unfortunately, did not all resonate for me. Also I could sense a strong new agey, Buddist vibe in a lot, though not all, of the author's writing. This is not surprising because she openly mentioned, on one of the first pages of this book, her ties to the Buddist and New Age movements. For some this won't be an issue. For me, however, as Christian it was a little too much. I want the best for my children just as much as the next mother, maybe even more, but I don't buy in to a lot of the "the universal harmony" crap that goes along with either of the aforementioned belief systems.

I don't want that to sound like I'm completely tearing down Healy's book, because that would be completely false. I do, again, think that there are quite a few really good thought provoking sayings in this book. Just to name a few from each section...

In the section on EMPOWERING-

#7 The Best (found on page 15)
"Ordering the best from life and expecting it often returns just that- THE BEST. So enjoy looking for the best in your SELF and OTHERS because soon the best starts looking for you."

#17 Everyday (found on page 17)
"You are loved every minute of every day in every way! I love you. God loves you. Your angels surround you and protect you on your way. There is nothing to fear as you let God steer. Enjoy being surrounded by UNIVERSAL love from above."

#35 Never Give Up (found on page 22)
"Never ever give up! Life has some bumps and bruises, ups and downs, highs and lows but never, ever GIVE UP. Being able to hang on and not give up is a GIFT to yourself that you are STRONG, CAPABLE and WILLING to see life through. Plus there are rewards coming to you."

In the section on EDUCATING-

#129 Happy Wishes (found on page 53)
"Everyone is the same. We all want happiness and to avoid pain. This truth connects every person. No matter what is occurring in life- look past the surface and see every person wants to feel happy. Even the grumpy teacher!"

#131 No Better (found on page 54)
"There is no better. Each of us is UNIQUE and SPECIAL. No one is better than anyone else. Every person has gifts that are being birthed within them. EVERY MINUTE. Respect the blossoming of everyone's gifts equally."

#150 Patience (found on page 58)
"Patients are not just for doctors! It is the ability to rest in knowing all is well, others can go first, and you can happily wait your turn. There is not RUSH in life. All the best things are coming to you so just be happy and let them SHOW UP right on time."

In the section on INSPIRING-

#298 Fully You (found on page 101)
"I want you to be FULLY you in everything you do! So enjoy discovering your self, taking your talents off the shelf and being fully the wonderful you. What do you fully want to do?"

#332 No Ordinary (found on page 109)
"There are no ordinary moments! Every second is special. Even if you are picking your nose or wiggling your toes! God is here, there and everywhere. So see the DIVINE light shining everywhere even at night."

#357 Seeds (found on page 115)
"Today's seeds are tomorrow's flowers. You can plant seeds and watch flowers rise up from the dirt. Or you can plant kind words and see all kind words spring up all around you! What type of seeds are you planting now?"

The above is just a taste of what readers can expect to find between the pages of Healy's new release, 365 Perfect Things to Say to Your Kids. I'll repeat that while I don't particular love every saying in this book, I do agree that there are some really great ones to be found. I think the author did a good job of structuring her writing so a young child can easily understand most, if not all, of the 365 sayings. Her simple wording and catchy rhyming text is undoubtedly one of the key componants that will help younger readers commit Healy's "truths" to memory. And while I probably wouldn't use the book in the fashion the author indicated, I would probably use it to get suggestions for cute notes lunchbox notes that I could send to school with my 6 year old daughter.

NOTE: Interested parties can look for this book on shelves next mont, January 2010.

Thanks to Maureen for allowing me this review opportunity!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death by Laurie Notaro

2009-12-27T21:37:00.000-08:00

The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death: Reflections on Revenge, Germaphobia, and Laser Hair Removal by Laurie Notaro

(Memoir)

If you are looking for a hilarious, never a dull moment book to close out your year then look no further than Laurie Notaro's memoir, The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death. This book is, by far, one of the most comical and entertaining pieces of writing you can get your hands on. I kid you not! Fans of David Sedaris, another popular comic genious of the written word, would do well to check this author out. Her writing style is sincere yet constantly allowing the reader to see even the darker, dirtier corners of Notaro's life.

From sex offenders to unwanted body hair, fatty tissue to personal hygiene, real estate sales to pet training. Laurie covers it all and more, and she does so in an insanely remarkable way. Whether being sincerely sentimental or brutally brash, Laurie lays it all out for her readers. Taking the hard to swallow self-deprecating aproach on many of her essays, it's easy to understand why she's so likeable. Her flair for the no holds barred humor is incredible, and her stories leave the reader (or me anyhow) left wanting more.

The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, though a compilation of several short stories bound together in essay format, was one of those books that I couldn't get enough and couldn't wait to see what would happen next. I was so excited to finish each chapter and move on the the next that I was shocked and horrified to find that I'd, in a very quick pace, run out of pages. The book was done, and I was left hungry for more. Lucky for me, according to the page just inside the cover, Laurie has graciously written six other books that all sound (based on the title alone) equally as funny, if not more so, than this most recent publication. I know I personally can not wait to get my hands on all of them.

If someone was to ask me what my favorite part of this book was I think I'd be hard pressed to come up with an honest answer. The reason for this is because every chapter was incredibly well written and full of something new and unusual. I suppose, however, that there is one segment in particular that comes to mind as having been especially laugh out loud funny, and that would be the one titled "The Extended Warranty, the Extended Waistband, and the Repairman Who Almost Became a Hostage." In this portion the author describes, in vivid detail, the demise of her treadmill, her body, and her pride.

When her treadmill stops working, Laurie hopes to cash in on her extended warranty and get a repair man out to fix it and/or replace it with a newer, better model. Trouble is, as with most things, instant gratification was not within reach. What should have taken, at worst, a few weeks suddenly turned in to a few months. With each pending maintenence date would come yet another problem and reason for why the machine could not be fixed (or replaced). And with each extension on the maintainance came and extension on Laurie's waistline. The humiliation doesn't stop there; oh no, there's more. But what comes next is even to embarassing to mention here. Besides, I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise for those of you who decide to check out Laurie's stories (he he, Hey, that rhymed.) for yourself.

Let's just say, that anyone who gives Laurie a chance will not be disappointed. Her humor is honest, it is sometimes crude, and it is definitely always crazy. In short, it's a book not to miss!

~Bookish Mom Reviews, aka RebekahC

P.S. A huge thanks goes out to Ms Franco at Random House for sending me this review copy. I would have never discovered Laurie if not for you, so THANK YOU!

The Perfect Couple by Brenda Novak

2009-12-18T21:32:00.000-08:00

The Perfect Couple by Brenda Novak
(Romantic Suspense)

Have you ever found yourself secretly spying on your neighbor, wondering who they really are and what they really do? Have you ever imagined, if only for a second, that there was more than meets the eye and that your quiet little neighborhood wasn't really as quiet and quaint as it seemed to the naked eye?

Brenda Novak's The Perfect Couple does just that. With never a dull moment, this book takes the reader right behind the front lines and shows just how deceptive the human nature can be. One who at first appears to be the world's best neighbor can infact be a blood thirsty, psychopath. Meanwhile, one who appears to be looney off his rocker can indeed be as sane and harmless as a mouse.

Zoe Duncan is a lot of things but a bad mother is not one of them. Therefore, when her thirteen year old daughter, Sam, suddenly goes missing from her own backyard in the family's upper class neighborhood Zoe has no idea what to think. Struggling upwards from a life already ripe with trials and pain, Zoe is no stranger to living in fear of the unknown. Her own daughter's very existance in and of itself is born from grief, but even then she'd never in a million years wish her away. So where on earth could she have gone?

It's a mother's worst nightmare, and no one seems to have a clue as to what could have happened. Sam wasn't always one hundred percent thrilled to bits with the current social situation she and her mother were in. Now engaged to the older, rich, and oh so uptight, Anton, Zoe got used to telling herself this was the life she wanted. It was the security and well being she craved. Sam, on the otherhand, saw through the facade and wanted nothing to do with Anton. She knew the feeling was mutual because her existance only put an undue strain on the relationship. Zoe knows her daughter was unhappy, but she also knows that no matter how much Sam disliked Anton she would never just up and run off without a word. No, Zoe knows that for her daughter to have vanished without a trace it means that there is something far more terrible going on than she ever thought possible.

In a race against time, where uncertainly and blindness are her biggest enemies, Zoe must battle everything she thinks she knows in order to unbury the unfathomable truth and save her daughter before the clock runs out. With Jonathan Stivers, the P.I. assigned to her case by The Last Stand, a victim's charity & action group, Zoe must work to uncover the secrets behind Samantha's disappearance. It's not enough that she's completely stressed out with everything else she has going on, but when Stivers enters the scene so do some unfamiliar feelings that Zoe's not quite sure she's ready to add to the mix.

He's young, attractive, and dedicated to helping her get her daughter back- alive. Jonathan is everything she could hope for and then some, yet Zoe has every reason in the book not to allow her feelings to get muddled up in the drama of the day. No amount of sexual chemistry can bring Sam back, but perhaps if Zoe plays her cards right she can end up with an Ace in both hands. Sam is out there, and she has every reason to believe she's alive. However, only time will tell how involved Zoe can get without going over the falls of no return. Mr Stivers is here in a professional level to help her find Zoe and bring her home safely, but something about him allows him to calm her like a strong balm to a fresh wound. He knows how to say just the right things, do just the right things, and he seems to have a good theory on what could have become of Sam.

In a rushing game of cat and mouse, The Perfect Couple is a non-stop action thriller filled to the brim with exciting twists and turns. Who knew that delight and disgust could so easily go hand in hand?! Not just one but two major antagonists warp your mind and leave you re-evaluting everything you already thought you knew about those around you. Double check your locks, say that extra prayer over your child, and then settle in with a good drink and your very own copy of The Perfect Couple. Bound to scare and entertain you, this book offers an incredibly realistic picture of just how far a mother will go to save her child from an uncertain fate.

NOTE: This is a book that deals with the very strong and disturbing topic of sexual abuse among other things. As book #4 in Novak's THE LAST STAND series, it works to tie in past characters but does so in such a way that makes new readers to the series very comfortable in picking up here with this new release and not clear back at the start of book #1.

Anyone who would like to preview THE PERFECT COUPLE please feel free to check out an excerpt from the first chapter as generously posted by Ms Novak on her website here.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

FIRST Wild Card Tour: Lessons from a Broken Chopstick by Mary Anne Phemister

2009-11-20T23:22:00.000-08:00

Today's Wild Card author is:

Mary Anne Phemister

and the book:

Lessons from a Broken Chopstick

Hannibal Books (September 30, 2009)

***Special thanks to Jennifer Nelson of Hannibal Books for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Mary Anne Phemister is a nurse, author, mother, grandmother and wife of noted concert pianist Bill Phemister. The Phemisters live in Wheaton, IL. She has also co-authored Mere Christians: Inspiring Stories of Encounters with C.S. Lewis.

Product Details:

List Price: $14.95
Paperback: 160 pages
Publisher: Hannibal Books (September 30, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1934749621
ISBN-13: 978-1934749623

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

The Chinese Chest

A large, beautifully carved Chinese chest rests on curved wooden legs in my kitchen. Long-legged cranes decorate the top and sides in various poses. One bird in the background looking wide-eyed and perplexed, I’ve come to call “the bewildered one.” She reminds me of my mother, full of questions she dare not ask.

A furniture maker in Hong Kong sold this beautiful chest to my parents during their early, happier years of married life. Being practical and resourceful, they knew that this fragrant, camphor-lined vault could store and preserve the many curios and keepsakes that they would be collecting over the years to ship back home, someday. A skilled Chinese woodcarver had chiseled these revered birds into the outer teak frame, knowing full well its commercial appeal. Throughout Asia, red-crested cranes are symbols of long life and good luck.

My parents, however, believed in divine providence rather than in lady luck. To them, the force that operates for good or ill in a person’s life is not as capricious and precarious as luck. Good fortune is not the result of mere chance; it is part of God’s plan. Unfortunate circumstances, like the time my father almost died of food poisoning, are blamed on the enemy of our souls—Satan, the devil or the evil one. Hence, even when God allows bad things to happen to good people, it is not without some purpose. God is teaching us something or testing our faith. Our job on earth is to trust God, who has clearly instructed us not to lay up treasures on earth where moth and rust corrupt. Nevertheless, the few curios they brought home in this chest, fortified with camphor against pesky moths, could not be considered real treasures, merely mementos to display at missionary meetings.

My parents firmly believed that one should not—must not—expect to reap the rewards of living a virtuous life here on earth. However, in the life to come, all would turn out right. Then, all life’s troubling questions would be answered to our satisfaction. “All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose” was a bible verse I had memorized at a very early age. Thus, I have always known that life has meaning and purpose. I have never doubted God’s goodness, although I have often questioned His methods.

This core belief, that all will turn out well in the end, that good will triumph over evil, that God rewards the faithful, was the force that enabled my mother to endure the countless challenges in her life. Her unshakable faith held her fast after the death of her infant son, Johnny, the puzzling alienation of her brother, Andy, and throughout her unhappy marriage to my father, notwithstanding all her attempts at being the good wife.

My parents’ acquaintance began at the suggestion of my father’s sister, Agnes. She had met Violet in Buffalo, New York and knew of her intent to go to Tibet as a missionary. Agnes suggested to her brother, Al, who was living in Shanghai at the time, that Violet would make him a good helpmeet. My father, who was on the lookout for a wife, then began a correspondence with this devout woman with a winsome smile, recently graduated from the Nyack Missionary College. Al eventually succeeded through his letters in persuading Violet to join him in China. Thus, Violet Anna Agnes Gibson and Alexander George Kowles were married on the very day the steamer docked in Shanghai harbor, September 6, 1938. She was just six days shy of turning thirty. Al, two years younger and two inches shorter, regretted these facts most of his life.

Why my parents went to China was never a mystery to me. In church service after church service they told of how God had laid on their hearts the burden for the lost. They were dedicated to answering the Master’s call for reapers to work in the harvest field for lost souls, as they would express it. They were merely obeying the great commission to go into all the world to bring the message of God’s love and salvation to people in heathen darkness. These words and phrases I heard often. I have never doubted their sincerity and resolve. They were more committed to their duty to obey Jesus’ imperative to preach the Gospel than to any other obligations, even to each other. Their marriage, based on their sincere desire to serve God, seemed to them at the beginning, to be God’s will. But before long, my mother began to recognize the smoldering notion that she had made a grave mistake. Where was God in this? How was God going to work this marriage out to his good?

“But you’re here,” my mother would say, dodging my question whenever I asked her why she stayed with my father for all those painful years. So, it was my existence and that of her other three children that enabled her to endure and be faithful. To her, the ever self-sacrificing handmaiden of the Lord and Al, divorce was unthinkable. God must have some purpose in it for her, she often reasoned throughout her prolonged heartache. It was her duty to persevere, to keep up family appearances for the sake of us children and “the ministry.”

I’m sure now that it was her strong sense of duty, her belief that marriages are made in heaven, her determination to endure to the end, bound and kept her locked in that disappointing marriage. Like the flight plans imprinted in those cranes’ brains, the mechanisms that steered the course of my mother’s life were those strongly implanted religious beliefs. I have inherited some of my mother’s sense of adventure, her perseverance, as well as strong religious beliefs, but for me, marriages cannot possibly be made in heaven. Where does it say that in the Bible? People make those choices, some good, some unhealthy. Somewhere along the line I have learned, contrary to family maxims, that if you make your bed, you don’t necessarily have to lie in it. You can get up and move, especially when one encounters, emotional, physical, sexual or even spiritual abuse.

Never once did I hear my mother question God’s sovereignty. To her, that would imply that the God whom she trusted with all her heart had led her down the wrong path. In her theology, and reinforced by my father with quotes from the Bible, that it was God’s will that she submit to her husband. She was committed (and coerced) to love, honor, and obey him until death intervened. “I accepted the future in simple faith that the Lord was leading me all the way,” she said. Simple faith did not permit her to question. A professional Christian counselor was out of the question, even if there were any around to be consulted a half century ago. Seeing a counselor pre-supposed that intense prayer and fasting and Bible reading were inadequate remedies to life’s problems. She told very few about her anguish, and never to her children while we were growing up.

During the time my mother kept the Chinese chest in her small apartment, it lay shrouded under a heavy, black brocade cloth. Stacked on top of the chest sat her phonograph player, her photo memory books, and piles of assorted record albums. Out of sight, the noble cranes lay hidden for decades until my mother moved into an assisted living residence. I remember her broad smile when I told her that I would take good care of her beautiful camphor chest, this lovely thing she bequeathed to me. She had begun to distribute her “things,” as she called them, to her four children. My mother lived to be eighty-nine. Clues to her life had been locked away in that Chinese chest for most of those years. In time, it was my joy to unearth some of the mementos and letters she had penned to her mother when she first sailed to Shanghai on the Empress of Japan to marry “by faith” a man she barely knew.

As I look at those cranes now, embedded in that chest that has come down to me, the bewildered one in particular seems to encapsulate much of my mother’s fascinating, woeful life. She, like the cranes, had mated for life, despite the unhappiness she endured. I suppose that if we children had all turned out to be preachers or missionaries to a foreign country, she would have felt some recompense, but none of us did. Throughout her lonely migrations to strange and foreign lands she kept searching for a resolution to the sadness she was feeling but could not verbalize. God did not provide the reconciliation to her husband and brother that she had so desperately prayed for. To bolster herself, she often took comfort in the words of the old hymn: “It will be worth it all, when we see Jesus; life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ.” I am sure that now she has found the answers in heaven and has found peace--the peace that passes understanding. What has she learned over there? What have I learned from her life experiences? How does one resolve the problem of pain in a Christian worldview? C. S. Lewis has helped me understand what my mother knew and quietly bore: many questions in this life are left unanswered. Life in Christ is a faith journey indeed. The Bible reminds us that “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us.” (Rom. 8:18 NIV) Trust and Obey were the three little words that guided the choices my mother made throughout the bewildered maze of her life.

When I initially received the e-mail about this book tour I knew I wanted to be a part of it. Not only was the name of the book incredibly intriguing, but the author's story revolved around her life on the Asian mission field- a place I too am familiar with. Fortunately for me, my experiences on the mission field were vastly different from those recounted by Mary Anne in this, her memoir. Infact, it was this varying account that really piqued my personal interest in the book to begin with.

Eager to see just how different our experiences really were from one another, I jumped right in to Lessons from a Broken Chopstick. What a story! Mary Anne may have lived in and traveled through many of the same areas as I did during my own time on the mission field, but what she experienced throughout was vastly different. Pushed by a father who was blinded by his faith, Mary Anne spent most of her childhood in China, Hong Kong, and Vietnam serving on a mission she didn't quite understand. And despite their negative undertones, it was these life experiences that shaped Mary Anne into the woman she is today.

Well written, interesting, and very enlightening. Lessons from a Broken Chopstick is a book that provides a thoughtful yet unique look behind the scenes of missionary life. It should be mentioned that not every missionary allows himself to be led by blind zeal, though in every situation God is/should be ones focus. For while every account is different, the final outcome can never be pre-labeled and will always be dependant on what cards God gives to you and what play you choose to make with them.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

The Handy Answer Book for Kids (and Parents) by Gina Misiroglu

2009-11-08T12:58:00.001-08:00

The Handy Answer Book for Kids (and Parents) Second Edition by Gina Misiroglu

(Parenting and Family Care)

Being a parent is truly one of the most amazing opportunities I think any person can ever have the pleasure of experiencing. It's full of up's and down's, but there's almost never a dull moment. Of course, as any parent will know, having a child can also be very enlightening. Things you didn't know your child could come up with, they'll inquire about. Why is the sky blue? How does a bird fly? What causes leg pains while one is sleeping? Why does a cat pur?

These are just a few of the many questions children love to ask, and when they do ask them we, as parents, are expected to have an educated answer to offer. Sometimes, depending on the age of your child, you can get away with a simple "Because it just is." It's highly unlikely though that this response will generate the desired response. The more likely scenario is the one where the child will continue to hound and harrass you for a fact based answer until you either find it or make something up. And let's face it, nobody wants to lie to their kid because they don't honestly have a clue what the answer to their question is. Yet, what are you supposed to do when you don't have a good explaination? Some might turn to the internet or the dusty encyclopedia set that rests, untouched, on the family bookshelf. But what if there were an easier place to find the answers to your child's interesting and highly imaginative questions? Now there is...

The Handy Answer Book for Kids (and Parents) by Gina Misiroglu is the perfect reference resource for parents, teachers, and kids alike. Written in a clear and easy to understand fashion, this book is exactly as it's name suggests, a handy answer book. I really love the way the author has chosen to breakdown the contents of the book, because it makes it easy to navigate through when looking for information on a particular subject. For instance, everything related to Outer Space is in it's own chapter. Next follows a segment on Planet Earth and our Moon; Creatures Big and Small; Plant Life; People Around the World; Politics and Government; How Things Work; Math, Measurement, and Time; All About My Body; and Daily Life.

If you know what category your child's question would fall under, you only need to flip that section to search out an answer. What's wonderful is that this is a book you can really turn to in all those "I dunno" moments when your child asks you a question you simply haven't got a clue how to answer. Granted, there's no guarantee your child's question will be one that is featured in this compilation; however, with nearly 800 queries touched on within its pages I think it's fairly safe to say you've got a good chance at finding the information you need.

I should also mention that the author has been incredibly thorough when collecting the data for her book. Every question that is listed is paired with a thorough and comprehensive answer which parents can adapt to their own situations. In other words, say a parent finds the answer to his child's question but the answer is too indepth for the child of this particular age to be able to absorb and understand it. Not a problem. All the parent has to do is shorten the given answer to something a little more age appropriate. This way, the parent can be certain he is offering the best answer possible to his child, but he's also able to do so in a way that doesn't, hopefully, leave the child with more questions than answers.

I'll tell you what, even if you don't have a child who's quite to that critical stage of 24-7 curiosity, this is a book you'll still want to get your hands on. Why is that? That's an easy question, and one I don't even have to look up the answer for in the book. (hahaha) The reason is because The Handy Answer Book for Kids (and Parents) is actually really interesting. Reading through it, in order to write this review, I found myself constantly amazed with the knowledge I was consuming from each page. It's a true wealth of information- useful to useless and everything in between.

My thanks go out to online publicist, Lisa Roe, for giving me this fantastic review opportunity. This is a book I guarantee will not get set on a dusty old shelf to become forgotten and outdated. Nope, this is one I know is going to get a lot of use in this house. So, thanks again, Lisa!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

The Curable Romantic by Katharine Miller

2009-11-07T13:07:00.000-08:00

The Curable Romantic: Advice for the Romance-Impaired by Katharine Miller
(Essays)

In this day and age a person can find any number of self help books on the topic of love, romance, and relationships. But is the answer to it all really something as simple as can be captured and contained on the written page? Well, pick up a copy of Katharine Miller's The Curable Romantic: Advice for the Romance-Impaired and find out!

From companionship to courtship to relationship to jumping ship, this short and sweet compilation covers everything you need to know about romance and is nothing short of hilarious. Filled with tips and advice perfectly suited for the romance challenged, this collection of colorful essays will serve as a wonderful guidebook for anyone on the road to love. Should one find though that in their own personal situation this book fails miserably on that last bit, I can safely promise it will, at least, give the reader many a good laugh.

Take, for instance, my personal favorite, the section titled "Guide to Pet Names". It's more likely than not that everyone ever involved in any form of romantic relationship has at one time or another referred to [or been referred by] his/her significant other by an endearing nickname. However, have you ever stopped to really think about what inspires a person when he/she is selecting a pet name? In this segment of her book, Miller gives several interesting examples of cutesy nicknames couples have been known to adopt, and also gives some suggestions on how a person can decide on a name for their special someone. Behind the scenes we all know that each person's nickname is going to be unique to their own on situation, but these lists give many fun suggestions to get you started if you haven't already done so. With a "Positive", "Negative", and "Questionable" list it's easy to sense the author's comical flair.

And, seriously, who can't use a few good pointers when it comes to love? Nobody is perfect and anyone who's ever set foot in the dating pool of life knows there are too many things that can go wrong. Forget what to wear on your first date. What do you say when you get there? What if you like him and he likes you; then what happens? Or worse yet, what if he doesn't like you? If you do feel a spark and see yourselves going someplace, how to tell when the moment's right to take things up a notch? Love is a tricky beast to master, but with Miller's helpful and often humorous advice readers should be able to more properly arm themselves for what is yet to come in their relationships of the heart.

The Curable Romantic: Advice for the Romance-Impaired offers a fun and light hearted approach to romance. Whether you're currently in a relationship or living single, this is a book that's worth the quick read. Check out http://www.thecurableromantic.com/ for more information or to order your own copy today.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

P.S. Thank you Katharine for this entertaining review opportunity! Even though my mailman all but ruined my copy of the book by practically soaking it clean through in the rain, I still plan on passing it along to some of my friends to enjoy. Cheers!

FIRST Wild Card Tour: Mom Needs Chocolate by Debora M. Coty

2009-10-29T20:36:00.000-07:00

Today's Wild Card author is:

Debora M. Coty

and the book:

Mom NEEDS Chocolate: Hugs, Humor and Hope for Surviving Motherhood

Regal (April 1, 2009)

***Special thanks to Rebeca Seitz of Glass Road Public Relations, LLC for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Debora M. Coty is the author or contributor to several books, including Mom NEEDS Chocolate: Hugs, Humor and Hope for Surviving Motherhood. A resident of Florida where she lives with her husband, Coty raised two children and enjoyed a dedicated career as an Occupational Therapist before beginning to chase her God-given dream of writing. She is known for communicating sound biblical concepts with a refreshing, light-hearted style. Her writings can be read in her monthly newspaper column, Grace Notes: God’s Grace for Everyday Living.

Visit the author's website.

Product Details:

List Price: $14.99
Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: Regal (April 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0830745920
ISBN-13: 978-0830745920

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

My Cups Runneth Over

Pregnancy

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother.

Mark Twain

As for you, be fruitful and multiply; populate the earth abundantly and multiply in it.

Genesis 9:7, NASB

There are a few things I’ve learned while fulfilling the “be fruitful and multiply” mandate.

Pregnancy draws you closer to your spouse. During an emergency stop in our driveway while I tossed my cookies in the grass, my husband, Chuck, tried to comfort me. Soon we were throwing up side by side. It was the most romantic thing he’s ever done. Those two brown spots on our lawn were the envy of all my friends.

Childbirth classes are invaluable informational sources. At the country hospital we’d chosen, one young farmer raised his hand the week after we learned about Braxton Hicks false labor contractions. He earnestly addressed the nurse instructor, “Ma’am, my wife’s been miserable all week. Could you tell us again about them Briggs and Stratton things?” He was the same strapping fellow who confided the first week, “We ain’t ever had any babies, but we’ve birthed a lot of cows.”

The budding momma’s swelling belly and the ledge over her innie-turned-outie navel aren’t the only evolutions in the body’s profile. Average-sized breasts become huge globes that bump into everything. It’s like having volleyballs attached to your chest. These alien chest globes take on their own personalities. I called mine the Bobbing Twins, Freddie and Flopsie. I addressed them directly: “Freddie, stop bouncing around or I’m going to fall off this bike,” or “Flopsie, you’re gonna have to squeeze into this DDD cup—there is no E.”

Finally, you’re in your ninth month. Ah, but the surprises are not over. After hours of sweating, teeth grinding and PUSHing, you are rewarded with a tiny screaming miracle. The little bugger has a surprisingly strong sucking reflex, and when he latches on, it feels like a vice grip to this incredibly sensitive part of your anatomy. You’re awfully glad you did that desensitization with the washcloth beforehand. I once commented to Chuck after performing this unpleasant ritual that rubbing myself with terrycloth made me empathize with that old table he was sanding.

“Hmmm. Yes, dear,” he answered, only half listening. I later overheard him inform his sister on the phone, “Debbie uses sandpaper on her chest to get ready for the baby.” No wonder his family thinks I’m weird.

Shortly after giving birth, my friend Julia (also a nursing mother) and I decided to take a well-deserved tennis break. Leaving the babies with their daddies, we headed for the courts. The blissful quiet was shattered by a wailing infant in a passing stroller, triggering that mysterious internal milk breaker switch. Julia and I simultaneously clutched our chests like gunshot victims at the incoming flood.

“Stop it, Freddie! Not now, Flopsie!” I pleaded with the Twins as two dark, wet spots appeared in strategic locations on the front of my white tennis shirt. Julia and I mopped ourselves between points with a soggy sweatband, bringing strange new meaning to the term, “bosom buddies.”1

Son of Man, thank You for the blessing of family and the miracle of babies. Make me more like You because they may end up being like me.

Note

1. Adapted from “My Cups Runneth Over” by Debora M. Coty, first appearing in Today’s Christian Woman, November/December 2004 issue. Used by permission.

Beach Trip: A Novel by Cathy Holton

2009-09-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Beach Trip: A Novel by Cathy Holton

Women's Fiction

True friendships, ones that grow with you and strengthen over time, are hard to find. Especially when everyone involved ultimately has to go their separate ways. Sometimes it's something you do or don't do; other times it's just the path that life takes you down. Whatever the cause, more often than not we, as a people, make our way through life with only a handful of timeless friends. Most others come in to our life for a season, and then silently slip away never to be heard from again.

For Annie, Lola, Mel, and Sara the journey hasn't always been easy. When they all met in college life was at an all time high. Studying, partying, and just goofing off together was the name of the game. It was a life they could all enjoy and it was what brought them together. But as often times happens, life eventually got in the way. The ties that bound the friends together began to stretch and even fray; leaving each girl alone to follow her own road in life.

Undeterred by the twenty plus years that have passed since all four women have been together, the friends decide it's time for a reuinion. It's a long overdue homecoming, and one that's sure to be a time of fun and excitement. Except before everyone can truly begin to enjoy everyone else's company they must each take a trip down memory lane and learn to let go. With years worth of experiences, both good and bad, under their belts each of the women must learn to move forward and live in the moment. They must all learn to forgive and forget, to live and to let live. It's a process that is difficult, but soothing like a cool salve to a fresh wound. And it's a process that is absolutely necessary if this beach trip is going to be a success.

Some novels reach out and grab you at the very first word, igniting a fire within you that renders you completely unable to put the book down. For me, this was not one of those books. Don't get me wrong, the story was good. However, try as I might, I did not feel any connection to the story or any of the characters. I had such great expectations for this book, considering it is about such a wonderful thing- timeless female friendship, which is why I found it incredibly odd that I could not get in to the storyline.

I love a book that grabs ahold of me in such a way that it enraptures me, but I found nothing here that did it for me. If I'm being perfectly honest, I actually struggled to get through it. The plot and characters were well developed and written, and each definitely had their shining moments. As a whole though, for me, none of it was exciting enough to hold my attention. Reading it actually became a chore because I was continually getting bored and easily distracted, which is very unlike me when it comes to a book that I think sounds as good as I thought this one did. So, I'm really not sure what to say. I know lots of other people who read this book had nothing but great things to say about it. That's wonderful, and I'm so glad to hear it. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to give it such positive marks myself.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

The Free Library of Philadelphia Needs Your Help!

2009-09-11T07:11:00.000-07:00

If you or someone you know lives in the Philidelphia area you have likely already heard the disheartening news about what's to become of their Free Library there in the months ahead. Unfortunately, it seems that due to state budget cuts or simple lack of financial planning all of the Philidelphia Free Libraries are at risk of being closed effective October 2, 2009. As anyone with a love for books knows, we simply can't allow this to happen!

Books are a huge part of libraries, but what we must remember is that our libraries offer so much more than just the opportunity to read and borrow books. Additionally, they offer media services where patrons can check out audio and video products for use at home. They offer free on-site computer stations with internet service, so job seekers can look and apply for jobs; so students can do homework and online research; so seniors can get needed information about social security and other benefits. There are countless programs and services available to the community through the library, and all are free. That's why it is so important, especially in today's economy, for our libraries to be available and well funded.

With libraries being in such popular demand by children and adults alike, residents in the Philidelphia area must band together now to contact their elected state officials to let them know that losing the Philidelphia Free Community Library system is not an option. Let your voices be heard, and be sure to pass along the word to anyone you know who will also feel the loss should the government not come up with a budget solution quickly.

Here's the link to the Free Library of Philadelphia home page- http://www.freelibrary.org/ When you get there a pop-up window should open up with the link for how to contact your local Philadelphia region elected official(s). Also, should you be interested in more information on this, please feel free to check out the library's We Need Action Now! page.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

April & Oliver by Tess Callahan

2009-09-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

April & Oliver: A Novel by Tess Callahan
(Fiction)

April is devoted to her brother Buddy, and knows that no matter how many ups or downs life throws her way he will always be there to help her through. What she doesn't consider is who will get her through when Buddy himself is no longer around. Killed in a tragic automobile accident, Buddy's death rips through April, tearing her to the core. Of all the things in April's messed up life, Buddy was the one thing, the one person she could truly count on. Without him, April's world grows bleak and dim, even more so than before.

It's not as though she's got a lot going for her. Stuck in a dead end job tending bar and caught up in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship, April finds her world completely coming apart at the seems. The downward spiral only quickens when Oliver, April's childhood best friend, shows up at her brother's funeral- with his new fiance'. As a child, April derived her deepest pleasure from the times she spent with Oliver and Buddy. They were inseparable. Unfortunately, as they grew up, April and Oliver also grew apart.

The skeletons in April's closet prevented her from going to college and making something of herself, but Oliver seized his opportunity when it arrived. The day that Oliver went off without April was the day he started living for himself, but even within his now sober and sensible world Oliver finds there is something missing. He's about to have everything a guy could ever hope for- a successful career and a gorgeous wife. Yet when Oliver returns home for Buddy's funeral it's as if the past all comes rushing back to him with full force.

Oliver always cared deeply for the audacious and broken April, and seeing her again after so many years causes a need to stir inside of him. A need to fix her. A need to heal her. A need to understand her. It's not as though he sets out on a road to claim her as his own. Be that as it may, the sexually charged atmosphere that was once thought to be extinguished only rushes to a full blaze once again. Neither knows what he or she really wants from the other, yet both find themselves drawn inexplicably together despite all that they know about one another.

Rich in story and drama, April & Oliver is a page turner that will make you fall in love with its disfunctional characters as they get back to the basics of who they are and why. Not to worry though, it's not all hearts and roses. And there's certainly plenty of angst to go around. However, this is a book that, when all is said and done, I believe will leave readers with a satisfied, heart warming grin on their faces. It's a story that comes together in such an irresistible way readers can't help but be drawn to the painful and romantic narrative. Perhaps it is one which will even cause readers to travel back in time, if be it briefly, to consider their own first love, possibly in a different light than ever before.

April & Oliver is, simply put, one I can't help but recommend!

****CAN'T GET BLOGGER TO ALLOW ME TO POST ANY IMAGES, BUT I'LL GET A COVER PIC POSTED AS SOON AS BLOGGER IS BACK TO NORMAL.****

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

A Hemorrhaging of Souls by Nicola Furlong

2009-08-31T10:58:00.000-07:00

A Hemorrhaging of Souls by Nicola Furlong
(Mystery)

Not everything is as it appears when young girls begin killing themselves at The Perpetual Soul girl's school. Death by self inflicted trama appears to be the case with each victim, but something about these scenarios doesn't settle right with child psychologist Dr. Tempest Ivory or police Constable Patrick Painter. Based on evidence alone no foul play is suspected, and still both Ivory and Painter believe there's a deeper meaning to be found.

The unexplained deaths are worrisome and tragic; however, what is to be uncovered is far more chilling and disturbing. For Dr. Ivory, what she discovers will take her back through years of hidden pain to the most personally troubling time of her life. She's sitting on the opportunity of a lifetime in her singing career, the role of Gilda in Rigoletto. But she does what she does for a reason, and her own past is nothing, if not partially responsible, for putting her here. Her dreams of singing a big role aren't to be forgotten, yet at the moment there's more at stake than pride.

Meanwhile Constable Painter, not without his own emotional baggage, lurks in the wings attempting to cull enough information from the students and Sisters at the Old Soul to determine what is really going on. In twist of fate that neither was expecting, Painter and Dr. Ivory begin to realize their own families' secretive pasts both have a very real connection to the complicated drama unfurling before them. And suddenly, each has more at stake in the case than either initally assumed. With each passing moment, more blood could be on their hands if they can not solve the mystery of what's going on behind the doors of this Vancouver Island girl's school.

Even with all the technical opera talk, which I'll admit got a bit boring because it's not something that interests me, the book itself appears well researched and well written. The ease with which the author threads together the heavy subject matter of suicide, murder, and sexual abuse is remarkable. It's a story that will send chills up your spine and leave you reeling from the savageness of it all. In a day and age where, sadly, these kinds of things are more common place issues than they were many years ago, some readers may find the talk of abuse hitting too close to home. In that alone I would say tread lightly. For outside of that, if you enjoy a good story that presents you with a true-to-life tale that is both shocking and thought provoking, you'll like this book. I know this reader found it hard to put down once the story really got going.

Interested readers should note, A Hemorrhaging of Souls is no longer available for purchase in paperback. The author has informed me, however, that it is currently available in e-book format. Copies can be purchased for $2.99 from any of the following sites, with more sites to offer it soon:

iTunes.com (apps store) -http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=309458737&mt=8
smashwords.com - http://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=nicola+furlong
shortcovers.com (any day now)

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

Dad, Dog, & Fish by Charles F. Emery III

2009-08-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

Dad, Dog, & Fish: a memoir by Charles F. Emery III

(Memoir)

Charles F. Emery III loved his father like no other. Together they became adventurers, making and experiencing many tales worth telling. Now finally having taken pen to paper, Emery has compiled those stories so that others too can know the man he grew up loving.

What you'll find between the pages of Dad, Dog, & Fish are Emery's most notable and entertaining life moments. As he recounts, through each chapter, his life experiences with his father, he not only is able to feel closer to him, but he allows the world to see just how special a man his dad was. Their connection, like most boy's with their father's is not hard to recognize. And the way in which Charles relays his childhood memories, and those from young adulthood, give just a glimpse at what growing up in the Emery house must have been like.

It's always been said that man has no greater friend than his dog. So, it only seems fitting that Emery would choose to dedicate a substantial part of his book to talking about his trusted canine, Bunkie. The yellow Labrador Retriever entered Emery's life during the time he was serving in the US Navy. His adoption was not one that set well with the Missus, but Emery was a sucker for the cuddly little fuzzball. Cuteness aside, it didn't take long to learn that Bunkie's initial calm and adorable demeanor was all a ruse. Yet, despite his many puppy downfalls, and there were plenty, he immediately became Emery's closest friend and companion. A relationship that lasted 14 ½ years.

It wasn't the most finished or polished book, the flow was often choppy, and sometimes the point was lost. And yet, Dad, Dog, & Fish was really a pretty good read. Emery's fine sense of storytelling interfaced with his gift of humor to present an overall smart and charming memoir full of several great lessons and insightful reminders.

My thanks goes to the author, Charles F. Emery III for allowing me this review opportunity.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

City Above The Sea by Stephen Alan Saft

2009-08-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

City Above The Sea And Other Poems by Stephen Alan Saft

(Poetry)

In this collection of modern day poetry by author Stephen Alan Saft, we see the conceptualization of today's society and how overpopulation, technology, the environment, and even the basic pleasures of our world rule us all. There are a total of 34 poems written in a combination of free verse, blank verse, and rhyme- each with a distinct voice. Nearly every poem is written with a profound deepness, and often with that deepness comes an undeniable melancholy.

Take for instance Saft's Pushing Forty, found on page 57. This centers on a man examining his life as he gets older, finding that time is passing him by too quickly. Rather than being comfortable in his skin, he runs from the life he knows. Pushing away from family and friends, spiraling deeper into a mid-life crisis, the man abandons his life as he knows it to examine what else it may have to offer. It's possible to look at this and see the positive light, that the man is loooking to fulfil his dreams and not be brushed under the rug like a has been. Yet it's also depressing to think how he must have gotten there in the first place.

Certainly this and the other poems in this book provide food for thought. Even those with a lighter subject matter are full of richness and a unique poetic flair. While I found most of Saft's works to be highly expressive and moving, there was one in particular that stood out to me. This, my favorite among them all, was the third piece. Found on page 21, the arrangement titled The Cucumber Plant to the Sun reads like a love story. Bordering on slightly erotic, this poem examines, in vivid detail, the tryst between a cucumber plant and the sun. Saft expertly crafts the piece around what the cucumber plant is feeling in regards to its relationship with the sun. The expression is intense, and it ignites a personal and emotional stirring. As the cucumber's need and desire to be recognized and loved by the sun is shown, the reader can, in a very real way, relate. There's no denying that the composition emotes what many readers probably feel on a day to day basis, at least at some point in their lives. And the way in which it is presented is fresh and beautifully laid out.

I guess if I had to pick out one single overlying theme or idea expressed throughout this collection, it would be that the author wants to remind readers to never forget about what is to come tomorrow. No matter how many positives or negatives we face in our lives, there will almost always be another day. We, as a people, should strive to take pleasure in the moments we live in; likewise, we should take steps to ensure a good and pleasurable world for all the tomorrows yet to come.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

Sorry It's Been So Slow

2009-08-24T06:40:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take a second to apologize to any readers, authors, and publishers that have been patiently awaiting some new reviews here lately. Summer break really threw my schedule off as I had both my little girls home with me every day. Not a good excuse when you've got blogs to post, but it's my excuse all the same.

Anyhow, school is back in session and I am ready to get back in the swing of things. Today I should be posting three reviews that I've been sitting on while waiting for the chance to pop over here to get them up. I also have another one or two that will hopefully be ready within the week or thereabouts.

So, again, thank you for your patience while I've been slacking. I promise to try to do better in the future! :)

The Nine Lives Of Clemenza by Holly Christine

2009-07-16T12:56:00.001-07:00

The Nine Lives Of Clemenza: A Novel by Holly Christine
(Fiction)

Here we have a book that was very different from anything else I've ever read. When I first received the review request from the author I debated on whether or not to accept. Based on the book's description I knew the storyline was heavily based on the theory, or form thereof, of metempsychosis (ie rebirth). As a Christian, I'm not one who even remotely considers such a thing as truth, but I decided the book itself sounded like it could be fascinating. I agreed to review the book, knowing full well that whatever the author's beliefs, I'd be reading it purely for entertainment value.

The Nine Lives of Clemenza follows the spirit Clemenza through, just as the title suggests, nine very distinctive and unique lives. The prevailing thought throughout the book is that God creates every spirit, and then allows each to pick what form it would like to live in. Each receives a total of nine lives, after which point he/she can choose to become an angel, return to a past life, or even live out the rest of eternity in Heaven's retirement center. It's an idea that, in and of itself, is pretty kooky, but when compounded upon made for a very uniquely entertainly story.

Clemenza, who we meet before she even embarks on life number one, must carefully decide what life opportunities she'd like to endeavor and explore. Given the chance to choose any form of existance, she must then live her life to its fullest and take away something really important from each one. For upon return to Heaven at the end of each life, Clemenza is required to share with God at least one important thing she learned during her last life. It's important for her to learn as much as she can, because she never knows how her knowledge will come in to play in her next life.

I won't spoil things for the reader by telling what life forms Clemenza ends up choosing along the way, only that each has it's very own extraordinary story. I could tell the author put a lot of time and thought into developing each world and persona for Clemenza. Even when at the most basic of levels, Clemenza was still a thinking, acting, dedicated being. It was intriguing to see how Christine, when all was said and done, brought all of the lives together through a simple analysis of each. And while I put no stock in the idea of reincarnation, I thought the author's book was well written and interesting.

Religious and spiritual views aside, if one can agree to read this book from a fictionalized entertainment standpoint in lieu of a non-fiction stance I think you will quite enjoy the incredible journey Clemenza takes you on. It's not a book for everyone, of that I'm quite certain. I am glad I gave it a chance though, because I really did get a kick out of following Clemenza's story from start to finish. It was a quick and impressive read; one not without pain, grief, love, intense joy, and even an important lesson or two to be learned.

~Bookish Mom, RebekahC

Belated FIRST Wild Card Book Tour: The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children by Stormie Omartian

2009-07-16T12:14:00.000-07:00

First off I must offer my apologies to both M.C. Pearson (head of FIRST Wild Card Tours) and to the publisher at Harvest House. This book tour was to have been posted last Wednesday (June 8), but due to some personal issues over this way and because I received the book only a couple of days beforehand I never got this post up in time. I feel badly about this; however, I've always held tight to the "better late than never" mentality when in this sort of situation. So, without further delay...

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Stormie Omartian

and the book:

The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children

Harvest House Publishers (July 1, 2009)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Stormie Omartian is the bestselling author of The Power of a Praying® series (more than 11 million copies sold worldwide), which includes The Power of a Praying® Wife and The Power of a Praying® Husband. Her many other books include Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On, The Prayer That Changes Everything®, and The Power of a Praying® Woman. Stormie and her husband, Michael, have been married more than 35 years and have three grown children.

Visit the author's website.

Product Details:

List Price: $13.99
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (July 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0736920862
ISBN-13: 978-0736920865

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Pray That Your Adult Children Will
See God Pour Out His Spirit upon Them

Once you have released your adult children into God’s hands and dedicated—or rededicated—their lives to Him (as I described near the end of the introduction), then the first and most important way to start praying is to ask God to pour out His Spirit upon them. It doesn’t matter what else you need to pray about specifically; you will be heading upstream against a strong current if you and they are not moving with the flow of God’s Spirit.

Every day we want the Spirit of God to come upon us and carry us where we need to go. We want Him to open our eyes to the truth and open our ears to hear His voice. We want Him to fill us afresh with His Spirit so that our lives can be lived for Him and we can move into all He has for us. And that is exactly what we want for our adult children as well.

Ideally, our adult children will ask for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit themselves. But realistically, many young people don’t even think about doing that, or understand what it means or why they should. It would be wonderful if our adult children would pray for all the things suggested in this book over their own lives, but whether they do or don’t, they still need our prayer support.

Pray That They Will Welcome an Outpouring of the Holy Spirit

A glorious promise God proclaimed to His people was first heard in the Old Testament through the prophet Joel (Joel 2:28) and then quoted later in the New Testament by Peter. It says:

“It shall come to pass in the last days, says God, that I will pour out of My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men shall see visions, your old men shall dream dreams” (Acts 2:17, emphasis added).

We are living in the last days God is talking about. If you are not sure about that, read your Bible and then turn on the TV and watch it for a week. You will see unmistakable signs of it everywhere. The promise for our adult children in the words “your sons and your daughters shall prophesy” is that, when the Holy Spirit is poured out on them, they will be able to hear from God. They will have a word from God in their hearts, and it will become the motivating factor in their lives. And God will be glorified in the process.

When our adult children can hear from God, then they will know where He is leading them, and they will understand how He wants them to serve Him. They may not know specifics, but they will have direction. Too often young adults can’t figure out the direction for their lives because they haven’t heard a word in their hearts from God about it. This can carry on for years until you have adult children who are aimless and don’t feel any sense of purpose or calling. But when the Holy Spirit is poured out upon them, they can sense direction from God, and He is able to lead them on the right paths and secure their steps in ways they couldn’t begin to do on their own.

I have known too many good, godly, believing parents who had an adult child who did nothing for years after he (she) graduated from high school. In each case he (she) refused to go to a college or a trade school and couldn’t or wouldn’t find a job. The parents prayed and prayed and threatened and prodded and begged to no effect. Then one day, after they had prayed that God would pour out His Spirit upon him (her), their adult child got up off the couch, turned off the TV, and went out and made a life for himself (herself).

You might be thinking, Why didn’t those parents just throw their lazy adult children out? But it is not as easy as it sounds. When you throw them out they can get into a lot of trouble. They can become more vulnerable to evil influences because they are afraid or desperate. You must have the mind of God about this. You have to be certain that throwing your adult child out of your house is what God wants you to do. In some cases it may well be, but it can’t be a decision born of human emotions, such as anger. I know some parents who shipped their adult child out because they thought it would do him good, and it turned out to be a terrible decision because he fell under some horrible influences.

We have to keep in mind that God can do far more for our adult children than we can ever do, and so we must ask Him to speak to their hearts by the power of His Holy Spirit. They need to be able to hear from God regarding every aspect of their lives, from decisions they make about where they go and what they do to the people they spend time with and perhaps try to emulate.

Some adult children are going to be more open to hearing from God and receptive to the move of His Spirit in their lives than others. Some will not be open or receptive at all. At least not at first. Whether they are open or not shouldn’t affect your prayers. You pray what needs to be prayed regardless of what your adult child’s attitude is toward the things of God. Your job is to pray, and it is God’s job to answer. Remember, you have released your adult child into God’s hands. That doesn’t mean you have given up on him or her. You’re not saying, “You take him, God. I can’t deal with him anymore.” Or, “That’s it, Lord. I’ve had it. She’s all Yours now.” It means you have surrendered the burden you have been carrying for your adult child to the Lord so He can take it off of your shoulders. Then the burden you carry is in prayer.

Pray That They Will Understand the Power of the Holy Spirit

I wrote The Power of a Praying Parent more than 15 years ago, and it has served me and others well in all those years. I have seen countless answers to prayer in my own children’s lives, and I have heard from thousands of readers about the wonderful answers to prayer they have experienced as well. Those of us who started praying for our small children back then have seen them grow into adults. And we have also watched the world change for the worse in some way every day. We must now have a new strategy in prayer for our adult children. Our prayers for the flow of the Holy Spirit in their lives will become a powerful protective shield from the flood of this toxic culture. They cannot navigate it successfully without God’s power.

Today’s cultural environment will chew our adult children up and spit them out if they are not strong enough to recognize the destructive, dark, and powerful forces that are in it and be able to resist them. No matter how horrible our own background might have been, we weren’t confronted with the outpouring of evil they are facing today. It is becoming so dangerous that even our adult children cannot successfully withstand it on their own. They need the power of the Holy Spirit, and they need our prayers to help them understand how He moves in power on their behalf.

We must not only politely ask God for an outpouring of His Spirit on our adult children, we must get on our knees and cry out for it from the depths of our being. We must recognize that already a spirit is being poured out on them right now—the spirit of darkness, death, perversion, lies, destruction, and evil—and only an outpouring of the Holy Spirit can negate that in their lives before it harms or destroys them. Only an outpouring of the Holy Spirit can connect them to the power of God.

Pray That They Will Be Influenced by the Holy Spirit of Truth

The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth (John 16:13). We all must have Him functioning in that capacity fully in our lives. And this is especially true for our adult children. The Spirit of truth will bring the truth to light and expose the lies.

I am deliberately not telling many stories about my own adult children in this book, and that is not because there aren’t any stories to tell. But Christopher and Amanda are adults, and these are their stories to tell. And I hope that someday they will, for the outcome in each case has been great to the glory of God. However, I will say that each one of my adult children at one point presented us with a challenge that made it necessary to confront them about some choices they had made with regard to the path they were on. They each had gotten off the path God had for them because of bad influences in their lives. I am not blaming the bad influences, because obviously something in each adult child allowed them to be drawn toward what they clearly knew was not right.

This happened in separate years and ages for each of them, and they were dealing with entirely different issues. However, in both cases I had previously sensed in my spirit that something was not quite right in their spirits. A parent can look into their adult child’s eyes and see if the Holy Spirit is reflected back in all His purity, or if something has come into their mind and soul that is competing with His presence. And this is especially true when you ask the Holy Spirit of truth to reveal what you need to know in order to pray effectively for their lives.

My husband and I felt something was not right, but we didn’t have any hard evidence. So we just prayed that God would reveal everything that needed to be revealed, and that He would not let them get away with anything. We asked God to pour out His Spirit upon them and convict them of whatever was in their lives that was not glorifying to Him. We asked the Spirit of truth to reveal the truth to them and to us.

In each case, not long after we prayed, someone called us to say they were concerned about our adult child and why. We went to each one and told them what the Holy Spirit had put on our hearts. We also told them what we had heard, although not whom we heard it from. (I never reveal my sources.) They each immediately admitted to what we suspected and were deeply and completely repentant.

This was a turning point for each adult child, because they were different from then on. They were more serious about their lives, their futures, and the Lord. They became far more careful and wise about their associations and actions. The Holy Spirit spoke powerfully to them, and their hearts were opened to a new level of His work in their lives. All this could not have happened without the Spirit of truth penetrating their lives and revealing what they needed to see.

Even though I am not using many stories from my own adult children’s lives—except in a few minor instances such as this, where their privacy is not compromised—there are countless parents of adult children with whom I have talked at great length about the problems they have faced with their adult children. These conversations have given me more than enough examples to illustrate what I need to in each chapter. However, so as to protect everyone’s privacy, I will not mention any real names or specifics that would allow someone to be identified. Plus, nearly every example I am citing is based on more than one case. So it could be any one of a number of adult children whom I am talking about in this book.

All that to say, I have seen countless answers to prayers for adult children. Were I to tell you all of them, you would be greatly encouraged in praying for your own. I hope the ones I mention will give you the encouragement you need.

If you have an adult child who has grieved or worried you, or caused problems for himself (herself) or for you or others, ask God to pour out His Spirit on him (her) right now. Don’t waste time blaming yourself, the other parent, or your child. I am not saying your adult children don’t bear any responsibility for what happens in their lives. They certainly do. But the overriding factor is that only an outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God on your adult children is powerful enough to withstand the onslaught of the spirit of evil coming against them. Asking God to pour out His Spirit upon your adult children is a simple prayer with powerful ramifications, both for you and for them.

I have asked God to pour out His Holy Spirit on you and speak to your heart as you pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on your adult children. I can’t wait to hear about the results.

Prayer Power

Lord, You have said that in the last days You will pour out Your Spirit upon all flesh. I cry out to You from the depth of my heart and ask that You would pour out Your Holy Spirit upon my adult children. Pour out Your Spirit upon me and my other family members as well. Pour out Your Spirit on all of their in-laws, both present and future. Pour out Your Spirit upon whatever difficult circumstances each of my adult children are facing. Be Lord over every part of their lives and every aspect of their being.

Speak to my adult child’s heart and help him (her) to hear from You. Enable him (her) to understand Your leading and direction for his (her) life. Open his (her) ears to hear Your truth so he (she) will reject all lies. Help him (her) to move by the power of Your Spirit. Enable him (her) to rise above the onslaught of evil in our culture.

Where he (she) has walked away from You in any way, stretch out Your hand and draw him (her) back. Don’t let him (her) get away with anything that is not pleasing in Your sight. Convict his (her) heart and bring him (her) back to where he (she) should be. May the Holy Spirit poured out on him (her) completely neutralize the power of the enemy attempting to pour out evil in his (her) life.

I know You can do far more in my adult child’s life than I can ever do, and I invite You to do so. But if there is anything I should do—or should not do—make it clear to me so that I will do the right thing. Holy Spirit of truth, reveal the truth that needs to be seen both to them and to me. Guide me in my response to them always.

I pray my adult child will never grieve Your Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30) but will receive Him as a gift from You (Luke 11:13). Fill him (her) with Your Spirit and pour into him (her) Your peace, hope, faith, truth, and power. Let a spirit of praise arise in his (her) heart and teach him (her) to worship You in Spirit and in truth.

In Jesus’ name I pray.

Word Power

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!

Luke 11:13

You shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you.

Acts 1:8

Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.

Matthew 12:32

Prophecy never came by the will of man,
but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit.

2 Peter 1:21

Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Acts 2:38

I have been a fan of Stormie Omartian for several years now. Owning both her Power of a Praying Wife and Power of a Praying Parent I knew I had to also tour and review this lastest release by her. My kiddos are far from grown (They are ages 3 and 5 to be exact.); however, I knew The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children would be an insightful read even now. Plus I can easily shelf it again until my own girls are grown.

In her introductory section, Stormie discusses at length the many points she believes every parent of an adult child should know. Know that even when they're grown and not living at home, your parenting days won't be over. Know that no matter what they do or how they do it, you'll never be able to fix them- BUT God can! Know that no one is perfect, and that means you too. These are just a few of the points Stormie mentions in the beginning of her book, and each one holds a deeply inspiring message.

I think we as parents tend to try to make the world in to a perfect bubble for our kids. If and when something goes wrong, be it with the children themselves or the environment around them, we often times blame ourselves. But as Stormie points out, no one is completely equipped to properly manage and carry off everything except for God. Learning when and how to lean on Him is one of the most important messages I think any person, parents in particular, can grasp. In The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children not only are there examples of what can go wrong; there are also examples of how to appropriately pray the exact blessing and direction of God onto and for your children. Safe to say, parents with children of any age can certainly benefit from reading this book. Though, for obvious reasons, those with adult children will be able to reap the fullest of rewards from it sooner than the rest of us.

So, yes, I'm quite glad I took the review opportunity because what I read was not only very informative, but provided great principles that I can already begin to store away and set in motion for when my babies are truly no longer babies any longer.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

The Simplest of Acts And Other Stories by Melanie Haney

2009-07-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

The Simplest of Acts And Other Stories by Melanie Haney
(Short Stories)

Not generally a lover of short stories, I wasn't expecting to be overly wowed by this collection. As I've been known to say on more than one occassion, short stories to me are usually too hurried and lack the backbone I feel is important in making a story flow and feel completely rounded. In this instance, it wasn't that I doubted the author's ability or even that I expected not to be entertained; more so I just didn't think I'd enjoy it as much as other "more complete" books. More complete, to me, means a book with one main plotline that is followed up with individual storylines that come together to form one whole story. (Think a novel.) However, when it came down to it, I was bowled over and totally drawn in by the complex nature of each individual story told in Haney's compilation.

Every story told a tale of relative simplicity but the manner in which each was told opened the depths to allow the reader a uniquely personal insight to the characters and their plight. I say "plight" because while each of the stories is told from a different perspective, all of them seem to have one common thread tying them together- a loss and/or deep and pervasive sadness. From the very start, in "An Ordinary Evening", we see a mother coping with the pending loss of her comatose daughter. You, the reader, experience the pain alongside the mother. You recognize her grief, and yet you can sense her hope that perhaps some good can still come when all is said and done. Or in "Sweltering", which was probably my absolute favorite of all the collection, we meet a couple who have more than just the intense Summer heat driving them apart. The cause of the couple's withdraw from one another is not immediately evident. However, as the story progresses, with the introduction of a stray cat, you begin to understand where the couple has come from and what driving force has unfurled the thickening distance between them. It's a story so moving, so stirring. So much, infact, that the act of reading it seems almost too personal, as if the couple really does exist and by reading their story you are not just observing but actively taking part in their emotional upheaval. This, truth be told, was the case with each of the eleven stories included in The Simplest of Acts. While all unique, each contains a richness that can only be fully appreciated when shared in its own intimate setting.

Unlike some other short stories I've had the displeasure of spending my time reading, each of these pieces seemed effortless to read. Every narative was complete and showed a distinctive beginning, middle, and end without coming across as overworked or rushed. Despite their brevity, each story was polished and exuded the author's true talent for storytelling. My hats off to her; for within these mere 101 pages, my mind has been changed once and for all wherein short stories are concerned. I'd be lying if I didn't say that as of here and now my eyes have been opened to a new and improved form of short story. I might not go out of my way to pick up just any old short story collection, but I fully intend to not give them quite the brush off I've been known to give in the past. Especially if and/or when Melanie releases a new collection, you can sign me up to receive a hot off the presses copy!

It was a tremendous pleasure to read and review this book. I'm disheartened to think that I might have missed it all together were it not for this blog, Bookish Mom Reviews. Without it I would have never received the review request from Ms Haney; and, therefore, I would have probably never stumbled on to the book by myself. And even if I did, let's be real, I probably wouldn't have given it a second glance, if not for the pure and simple fact that, again, it's a short story collection. So, yes, my utmost thanks goes to the author for this great opportunity. Thank you, Melanie!!!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

Eternal Moon by Rebecca York

2009-06-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

Eternal Moon by Rebecca York
(Paranormal Romance)

Last year I had the pleasure of inviting Rebecca York to guest blog with me, at another site I reviewed for, about her then current release Ghost Moon. The book sounded really interesting, and I was certain it would be one I'd quite enjoy. Over a year later, I still have not read Ghost Moon. Shame on me; I know. (LOL) I have, however, had the recent privilege to read and review York's April 2009 MOON series release, Eternal Moon. The eighth book (tenth Marshall clan story) in an already stunning line up, I was very eager and excited to finally have an opportunity and reason to see what this series was all about.

Renata Cordona, a reincarnated goddess from another time and place, has seen more than her fair share of loss and devestation. Jacob Marshall, now a werewolf from the Marshall clan, also has suffered more than his due of grief and heartbreak. What neither realizes about themself or the other is that their roots go back in time and intertwine in a way far greater than either could possibly imagine.

An undercover PI posing as a real estate agent, Renata hopes to discover and stop the merciless killer who has already preyed on three innocent women. Jacob, who feels drawn to Renata's essance, doesn't like the danger she is putting herself in. He can't be certain without getting closer, but Jacob is quite convinced that Renata might just be the life mate he's been searching for. Finding her savagely brutalized and murdered, before he can make sense of his feelings for her would be disastrous. So, Jacob takes it upon himself to be Renata's secret guardian angel. Trailing her in his wolf form, Jacob is able to observe Renata without putting himself in the mix until he is ready. And then Renata is nearly attacked by a pack of wild dogs...

Completely unaware of what doors his intervention will open, Jacob puts himself between Renata and the wild dogs. What's done is done, and now Jacob must decide whether to follow his heart on the complicated and crazy adventure he's about to embark on. It won't be easy and it won't always make sense; but if the fates will allow, Jacob and Renata both might come out alive, well, and happily together on the other side.

I have to say, it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I enjoyed the storyline and characters, and as a whole I thought they played out well together. I think I was expecting more on the werewolf front though, and instead got a story that dealt a lot with an alternate universe and strange mythological Greek inspired goddesses and demons. It was weird. Weird in a good way; again, I don't want anyone to think the book or story was poorly written because truly it wasn't. It just wasn't really my cup of tea when all was said and done. It seemed to me that there was more of a fantasy feel instead of the paranormal edge I was looking for. So, while bumping the rest of this series up my queue probably isn't going to happen anytime soon it's not going to be because of the content but more so for the personal lack of interest in this particular story's style.

Having said that, I suppose I should mention that I did have a couple of issues with the quality of the writing within the story. First and foremost, I was totally put off by that fact that the sex scenes, in general, seemed rather repetative, as if they were all slightly tweaked versions of a cookie cutter style 'copy and paste' version. Then again, maybe the fault was all my own as the reader.

My biggest issue of complaint, I'd have to say, was that I found the author's use of the word "cock" to be redundant and lacking imagination. I can enjoy a good descriptive sex scene, just as much as the next girl, but I want it to be believable. To me, when an author uses this word to refer to the male genitalia, it comes across as brash, vulgar, and completely unsexy. I do realize and acknowledge, however that there are plenty of women who probably do not have a problem with the word "cock" and do use it when talking and writing. So be it. Perhaps if it had been used itermitantly with another word or two, the author could have brought the necessary emphasis to the hard and frenzied sex scenes where the language was intended to imply the intense emotions and raw, basic need expressed between the partners. For me personally though, I just don't see how its constant overuse brought anything to this particular story. Infact, I'd go as far as to say that, if anything, I believe it became more of a cliche by the end.

Overall, I'd rate this probably at a 3 1/2 on a scale of 1-5. It wasn't my favorite book by any means, but it was a decent read even though the story took a different direction than most paranormal reads I'm used to.

Thanks to Publicist Binnie Syril for the review opportunity.

~Bookish Mom (aka RebekahC)

Let's Have a Warm Welcome for Susan Helene Gottfried!!!

2009-06-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

A few months back I had the absolute pleasure of reviewing a book by the title of ShapeShifter: The Demo Tapes, Year 1. (Read my review HERE.) And today I am pleased and excited to have the author, Susan Helene Gottfried, here to guest blog at Bookish Mom Reviews. So, without further ado....

Here's Susan!

Before I say another word, I need to start off thaking Bekah for hosting me today. Being here is an absolute and total thrill. Read on and you'll see why. When I created ShapeShifter: The Demo Tapes -- Year 1, my original intent was that it would be something fun for my current groupies and the more casual readers of my blog. It was going to be a collector's item, I thought. Something to help them further see my fictional world through my eyes. It wasn't going to be anything major. Nothing Earth-shattering.

But something happened. As I began talking of my intent to republish certain content from The Meet and Greet, people got excited. I had to include an ISBN on the book, they said, so they could list it on the various book trading and social networking sites. I had to do this, I had to do that.

Given their excitement, I had to say 'yes' to all their requests.

I'm glad I did. Response to The Demo Tapes so far has blown me away. Yes, I was expecting my friends to really like it. After all, for most of those friends, The Demo Tapes was going to be a visit with an old friend. Many of my groupies had already read these short pieces when I first posted them. They already loved Trevor Wolff and his best friend-slash-pseudo brother, Mitchell Voss.

I figured I'd get a love-fest from my friends and a lot of head scratches and questions from anyone else who happened across my book.

Something else happened.

First, people who knew me but didn't know about Trevor and Mitchell picked up The Demo Tapes. I figured that at least part of their enthusiasm for the book came from understanding the references I frequently make to the boys. "This is so Trevor," I'll often say. Or, "Like Mitchell, I tried grilling this to see what would happen and …" If a person didn't know any better, they'd think Trevor and Mitchell are real people. In a sense, they are. But in the bigger sense, they're as fictional as Jane Eyre.

After that, people I know casually but who don't hang around the Meet and Greet came along. They knew me well enough to see me in the prose and the characters. They, too, were hooked.

The big test came right here. My friend Breeni, of Breeni Books fame, connected me with Bekah. I mailed off a review copy and waited…

I'm not surprised by Bekah's positive reaction to The Demo Tapes… and I am. Sometimes, I worry that Trevor's become an inside joke, that his longevity puts newcomers off. But then I have to remind myself that this was one of the reasons for putting out The Demo Tapes: to give new friends the proper entry into my fiction. The Demo Tapes begins, after all, with Trevor and Mitchell meeting. Not just seeing each other in school, but speaking. It's the beginning of their friendship.

And through the book, you get to watch them grow, as friends, as band mates. From boys into men.

That's why I'm not surprised that Bekah loved The Demo Tapes. I said to my husband the other morning that once I make a personal connection with a reader, they pick up the book and love it. But without the personal contact, it's much harder for them to pick it up. It seems strange. It's not the norm. Short pieces from a blog? About a rock band? What the heck?

Consider this the first of hopefully many personal contacts between us, then, dear reader. I invite you into my goofy-fun fictional world. Meet Trevor and Mitchell. Share their joy when things go well -- and feel their pain when they don't. Watch what happens when Mitchell goes and commits an act of monogamy.

Oh, I could go on forever about these guys. They're fun; the book is light-hearted, despite having some pretty serious themes mulling around, outside the concert hall, so to speak. And best of all, others who meet my fictional boys seem to agree. Come join the Trevolution.

-Susan Helene Gottfried

Note from Rebekah... Be sure to check out Susan's links.

The website: http://westofmars.com/
The books page (including buy links): http://westofmars.com/west-of-mars/the-books/
The Meet and Greet: http://westofmars.com/blog

Mark Your Calendars!

2009-06-07T22:57:00.001-07:00

Mark your calendars because on Wednesday June 10th Susan Helene Gottfried, of West of Mars, will be guest blogging here at Bookish Mom Reviews. Be sure to drop by and see what she has to say about her book Shapeshifter: The Demo Tapes Year 1 (See my review of the book HERE.) and learn how you can pick up a copy of your very own!!

Storm Glass by Maria V. Snyder

2009-06-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

Storm Glass by Maria V. Snyder
(Fantasy)

In a daunting new tale of adventure written by acclaimed author Maria V. Snyder, Opal, a young glassmaker and magician-in-training sets off on a journey of self discovery.

Having come from a family of simple glass makers, Opal Cowen finds great joy in working with glass. For her, the utmost pleasure can be found when she works over a hot kiln and brings her beautiful pieces to life. As a student at the Magician's Keep, a school for those who have been shown to possess magicial abilities, Opal is far from the strongest magician. In fact, her skills seem to be quite limited. Though, that said, she is very good at what she does.

Commissioned by the Keep's master magicians, Opal fashions flawless glass animals in which she infuses a special magical touch. Unlike anything the Keep has seen before, Opal's magic allows magicians throughout Sitia, and surrounding areas, to relay important messages one to another via her exquisite animal carvings. It's such an incredible gift, but for a fifth year student Opal's skills just don't match those of her class mates. Dubbed the "One-Trick-Wonder", Opal herself has begun to seriously have doubts about why she is even still at The Keep.

Those doubts are anything but alleviated when Master Magician Zitora Cowan calls upon Opal to assist alongside her on a mission to the Stormdancer's land. Opal hopes it's the break she's been looking for, though disappointment sets in when Opal realizes she's been called on not because of her ability with magic but because of her knowledge and expertise with glass. The Stormdancer's orbs, which are carefully and acurately constructed to contain a storm's essance and energy, have begun to shatter when filled. Causing two fatalities already, the clan must figure out what is causing the weakness and how to correct the problem. Time is of the essence, because big storms wait on the horizon. If the Stormdancers are not prepared by the time the storms reach them, it will be too late. And the loss and devestation will be rerephensible.

Opal is no stranger to danger, but she is not prepared for all that is to come as she takes on the role of Master Cowan's private pupil. While working to solve the mystery of the Stormdancer's glass and searching out an illegal diamond smuggler, Opal finds herself stabbed, beaten, kidnapped, tricked, and tortured. She also discovers there's more to her power than meets the eye. However, if she's to uncover its full potential, and in doing so save herself and the ones she loves, she must learn to trust in herself, like others do. Others like her father, Master Cowan, Kade (the Stormdancer), and Ulrick (the glassmaker).

To round out the drama and action, Snyder throws in some romance in the form of two possible love interests for Opal. Always the "other sister", Opal has grown up living in her older sister Mara's shadow. The stunningly beautiful Mara was always the one the boys flocked to, leaving Opal to only imagine what the attention must feel like. Now as young glassmaker and magician-in-the-making, Opal's time to shine has finally come. But how to decide which path her heart should follow.

There's Kade the handsome and diligent Stormdancer. They might not have a lot in common when it comes to upbringing and interests, but when she worked with him at the caves, Opal felt a spark. The trouble is, her feelings appear to be unrequited. Wrapped up in the loss of his sister, Kade is unwilling to risk another attachment that could, in the end, leave him hurt and alone again.

Then there's Ulrick. Of the two, he seems to be the far more likely choice. A glassmaker's son and hopeful magician-in-training, Ulrick shares the same background and interests as Opal. Not only this, but he's head over heels in love with her. As her self appointed body guard, Ulrick is determined to keep Opal safe and prove his love to her in the process.

It's a tough decision to make. She can choose Kade and hope the spark felt between them will be enough to secure and build a relationship on should he give her the time of day. Or she can choose Ulrick who she knows loves her and would do anything for her. The love she feels in return is genuine, but without that soul burning fire will it be enough to sustain her?

Maria V. Snyder is back again with her new GLASS series. Set in the same world as her earlier acclaimed STUDY trilogy, this time around she draws the focus to some of her previously lesser developed characters. Tying in loosely to past storylines, Storm Glass is the perfect continuation of an already wonderful storyline, and it's an even better beginning to a new one. And while I do believe this could be read as a stand alone without having first read the STUDY books, I would highly recommend new readers go back and pick up a copy of Snyder's first book Poison Study. It's not going to be the end of the world if you read this book without having read the three previous books first because while the author does frequently refer back to times, places, people, and things featured in the earlier books, she does a good enough job of explaining the relevancy within the current storyline. I recommend going back to book one though because I think this is a series that deserves all the attention it can get. And I have no doubt that if a reader should opt for this book first, she will quickly find herself drawn to the STUDY trilogy afterwards anyways. The author's capable writing style does not lack for anything, and the stories draw you in and capture your attention from the git go, even when reading outside your usual genre.

***To read a free excerpt, click HERE.***

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

Anxiously awaiting the release of book two, Sea Glass, due out in September 2009...

FIRST Wild Card Book Tour: A Heavenly College Education on an Earthly Budget by Lee Martinson

2009-06-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

Today's Wild Card author is:

Lee Martinson

and the book:

A Heavenly College Education on an Earthly Budget

Dog Ear Publishing, LLC (December 4, 2008)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Status: Married, dad to 4 homeschooled kids

Occupation: College Financial Aid Consultant (Diploma Therapist), author

Member: ACCA American College Counseling Association

Passion: Brain and biblical principles based learning - Advocate for intellectual freedom.

Hobbies: Table tennis; humor; collect and learn words like nikhedonia (which means pleasure derived from anticipating success), and absquatulate (which means to get up and depart quickly) etc.

Visit the author's website.

Product Details:

List Price: $23.95
Paperback: 348 pages
Publisher: Dog Ear Publishing, LLC (December 4, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 159858667X
ISBN-13: 978-1598586671

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Introduction: Why a College Degree May Be a Financial Disaster

The numbers are disturbing.

According to Kenneth Gray, Professor of Workforce Education and Development for Penn State University, 50% or more of college graduates with a social sciences degree end up in a job for which they are overqualified, and therefore underemployed.

Regarding the definition of underemployment, many in-laws offer a simple one: It is any job that their son-in-law has. For the record, underemployment as referenced here, is being in a job that doesn’t utilize all the skills and knowledge a person was trained for, and therefore doesn’t pay as well as a job that is designed for the person’s level of education. In professor Gray’s study, those with technical degrees, such as engineering and computer science, faired better at 20% or less being underemployed.1

A couple of years after professor Gray’s study, Steve Giegerich wrote an article for the Associated Press stating that even tech degrees are no longer a sure-fire ticket. Many of the jobs are going to China and India.2

And according to economist and former representative of the Board on the California Postsecondary Education Commission, Velma Montoya, growing global jobs competition has reduced the payoff to U.S. college attendance. She says that exports of skilled U.S. jobs to foreign countries have rapidly narrowed the income differences for college- and high school-educated workers.

She also says that high-paying, post-college jobs now are either for academic and athletic college superstars or those willing to go on for graduate or professional training.3

According to another study done by the Nebraska Department of Labor about workers in Nebraska, 67% of workers said they were underemployed.4

There are many other such studies and expert opinions like the ones above.

Underemployment is a huge problem. It’s not just about which kind of majors are in demand—oh no, if only it were that simple, but it’s not. I suspect that it’s even more complicated than what is reported, and what is more menacing and ominous about it is that it isn’t going to get better any time soon, in fact it will only get worse.

Here’s why:

According to Professor Kenneth Gray of Penn State, only 23% of all jobs require a four-year college degree. Years ago, when a much smaller percentage of the population got college degrees, merely having one was almost a guarantee of a good job. However, fast-forward to today and what do you have?

I did a bit more research, and according to my estimate, for at least every 35 college graduates there are only 23 jobs available that require a four-year degree. The bottom line? Thirty-four percent of all college graduates are not going to get a job that is equal to their training. That means that many college graduates will end up in a lower paying job. It is an economic fact.

People often talk about how since everybody is getting a degree these days, it isn’t worth as much as it used to be. However, as we see here, it is much more than that. It’s not just that he who has a degree is not as special anymore; it is the hard math reality that there are too many degrees chasing too few degreed jobs. Ouch! Now mind you, that is based on good economic times, but if the times are bad, well… double ouch!

On top of that, not all college degree jobs pay well. Some earn substantially more than the median, which obviously means others earn much less.

Have I mentioned debt yet? Debt at graduation is very commonly in the $20,000 to $30,000 range, and for a smaller but growing number of graduates, it even gets into the $40,000 to $130,000 range. Many experts say that student loan debt is becoming overwhelming for too many graduates.

Imagine graduating with a lot of debt and then getting a low paying job. A growing number of students wish it were only their imagination. Unfortunately, it has become a reality for them.

According to an article by Tosin Sulaiman of Knight-Ridder Newspapers, many college graduates are turned down for jobs because the potential employer runs a credit check on them and after viewing their credit history, believes them to be financially unstable.5 Such an unfortunate graduate as that is probably thinking, “If you’d just give me the job, I wouldn’t be unstable.” Life is like that sometimes.

Speaking of instability, you should also know that bankruptcy doesn’t discharge student loan obligations.

Another problem is that because debt is overwhelming for many students, more of them are defaulting. This is causing there to be less funding available. With less funding available, more students are dropping out of college because of lack of funds.

Getting heavily into debt for a degree that doesn’t teach you how to think and gain good vocational skills is not worth it. You could often do just as well or better without a college degree. Therefore, you have to ask yourself, “Do I really want a degree, and if so, what am I going to do differently so it will be worth it?”

What do you think then; do you still want to try for a college education? Are you sure that it will be worth it? I don’t blame you if you still want one, but as you can see by the above information, it isn’t as good of an idea as you might think unless you do it right and increase your odds for success. If you do the things the average high school and college student does, the odds are not going to be in your favor, especially since there are probably some hard economic times ahead.

When they pick a college, students mean well, they really do. But often they don’t know what they are picking. The average high school student often picks a college based on what friends say, or on the colleges’ prestige, or simply because the college is supposed to be good at a certain major.

The student waits until it is time to apply and then wonders how it is all going to work out. The average college student goes to the average college, has fun, maybe gets drunk a bit too often, cheats here and there, gets in debt, plows his way through college, and then hopes for a good job, which he may or may not get.

How are you going to set yourself apart from other graduates? What is it going to take for you to be among those who are considered very desirable for hire, and who don’t have a mountain of debt over their heads? How can you increase your odds of being one of the degreed 35 who gets one of the 23 degreed jobs?

After graduation, you will have to promote yourself to the business or labor market. What are you going to say? What will you show them besides a diploma? Think about it. One potential employer was quoted as saying that hiring isn’t just about having a college degree; it also has a lot to do with character. That is worth your consideration. Besides character, many jobs require specific vocational skills and you would do well to know what those skills are for your chosen major.

Time out. Stop reading now and write down what you would like to market yourself as in the future…

Done? Now your job is to learn how to get an education that will make it all true. Your ideas may change over time, but you will be further ahead by having something to work towards. Actually, after reading this book I hope you will revise your plans and have a much better idea. So, make sure to go over your plans again later.

While you are at it, don’t simply trust that a given college will provide the appropriate training in the required skills for your major. Talk to some employers, find out what they are looking for, and then make sure that you get training in those skills.

Doing these things is more than just working towards getting to college, and it is much more than just working towards a specific degree. You need to look at yourself as an entire person and look at what you want to do in this world. That is a much better approach.

You, and anyone else who does this, will have a bright future ahead of them. On the other hand, the average student will graduate with perhaps a very disappointing future. I say that because I am also considering debt, not just whether the student gets a good job or not. Some get a great job, but face paying student loans for 30 or 40 years and it isn’t very pleasant. For graduates in that situation, it might mean that financially, college didn’t really get them ahead.

A college education is probably going to be the second biggest purchase of your life, and a huge investment of your time; so you can’t afford to wing it on this one. You have to go into it knowing that you are going to be one of “too many degree holders” for the number of degreed jobs. To set yourself apart, you will have to really learn something of value, get some good skills, learn how to think, and be a person of good character. You need to know it is those things and not the degree itself that matters most.

If you get a narrow-minded degree, for which you were narrowly trained, and you graduate with your debt in tow and there is no job available for you, that will be a disaster. If you don’t get an adequate job, that will be a disaster. Conversely, if you learn how to think, analyze, make good decisions, obtain some good life skills along with your training, and can get through college with little debt, then college will not be a waste of time and money. You will be able to either find a great job or be capable of creating your own.

If you want to do this and increase your chances of success, I believe it will take a Heavenly Education. In the chapter after the next one, we will talk about the difference between a Heavenly Education and a regular education. By the way, in this book I use regular education and training and stuff education interchangeably.

The truth is, the right kind of education won’t create a problem of too many degrees chasing too few jobs, because the right kind of education will give a person versatile skills and the mental capacity to learn how to create opportunity even where none seemed to exist. Mind you, the right kind of education is not necessarily the same for everyone—it should be within the framework of a person’s particular talents.

It is worth noting that many jobs don’t require a degree yet pay very well and are very rewarding. There’s nothing wrong with graduating with a degree and getting one of those jobs. You’ll know that you got the right kind of education and that the skills and knowledge you acquired, combined with an ability to analyze and think well, will still help you excel.

In the end, if you get the wrong kind of education at the wrong price, it may turn into a big disappointment. If you even get the wrong education at a cheap price, it will still be a big disappointment. On the other hand, the right education at the right price will benefit you no matter what.

That is why the first part of the book is dedicated to defining what a great education is. That is the starting point, and it is what you must know before anything else. Until you know there is enough worth in the education you are pursuing, there is no point in looking at price.

Welcome to the new millennium, where any old degree at any price is no longer worth it. We are fast becoming a global economy with fierce competition for the better paying jobs. You aren’t only in competition with American students.

Once you can see how to ensure that you will get an education worth something, then later in the book we’ll look at lowering the cost. The case I will make is that if you get an education that is worth something, and you learn to rely on the Lord, there will be nothing to fear—you will be fine.

One of the problems with people and jobs is that they don’t understand economics very well. Their only concern is for getting their slice of the economic pie, as understood by themselves and the rest of the masses. They are only concerned with the distribution and redistribution of what currently exists, and how to train and get one of the jobs that those in charge are willing to “hand out.”

One of the things that they don’t understand is that we unintentionally limit the portion of the pie we receive. We even limit what we perceive to be the whole size of the pie. While there is only so much of any one thing that people need, there are plenty of other things that haven’t been discovered. There are new products and services that haven’t been offered yet. There are niches that are underserved, just waiting to be discovered and filled. We can always make the pie bigger.

There are usually at least two options. If we lose jobs to other countries, we can retool and get more competitive, or we can make new and different jobs. It just takes the right mentality and the right education.

You need an education that will help you understand this and help you develop some skills that support this idea. If you get any old degree, you would be right to be very concerned about the future. If you receive the proper education and preparation, there will be nothing to fear.

We’ve gone over some of the serious financial problems that can occur in pursuing a degree, and that is part of what makes many modern degrees not worth much. To avoid all of those problems, you really need a Heavenly Education. A Heavenly Education doesn’t just prepare you to face the future; it prepares you to shape the future.

Once Bitten: A Novel of Haven by Kalayna Price

2009-05-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

Once Bitten: A Novel of Haven by Kalayna Price
(Urban Fantasy)

Kita is a runaway. Heir to take her father's place as clan leader, this little pussy cat just didn't feel up to the challenge. Straying to Earth from her home on Firth, Kita has managed quite well to say off the radar. Shifting from her human body in to her natural calico cat shape, Kita has been able to travel about without drawing any unnecessary attention to herself. But she is being hunted. Her clan wants her back.

Then innocent humans start turning up dead, violently tortured and torn apart. Witness reports combined with the damage left behind at each site indicates to the shifters that a rogue is responsible for the attacks. No human could be responsible for the devestation. It's with this knowledge that Kita finds herself cast in the role of prime suspect. Not by the humans, but by the hunters. The attacks began only just after her arrival to Earth which means if Kita isn't responsible first hand then she must have tagged a human thereby inadvertantly creating a rogue shifter. Once captured, Kita will be returned to her home on Firth where she'll suffer the consequences of her abandonment and Earthly disgraces. The trouble is, Kita does not want to return home. Neither does she believe she is responsible for the attacks taking place. The hunters though will stop at nothing to bring her down.

With the aid of her now spoken for shifter ex-boyfriend, Bobby; her new vampire master and sex interest, Nathaniel; and her new found magical scholar-trainee from Sabin, Gil; Kita hopes to not only prove her innocence but also bring down the responsible rogue in the process. The stakes have been risen, and it's no longer a matter of clearing her name to stay on Earth. It's now a matter of life or death, for herself and her friends. With the mage judge breathing down her neck, she has only 3 days to solve the mystery of rogue shifter. They say a cat has nine lives, but this particular endeavor is sure to burn through them all if Kita's not careful.

Once Bitten is a confident and compelling debut novel that should leave no reader disappointed. The beautifully crafted and developed characters are unique and captivating to the point where I didn't want to let them go at the end. [Side note: I'm thoroughly delighted to learn that Price has signed a five book contract, so there will, for sure, be more books coming in the Haven series. Woot! Woot!] And the story as a whole combines all the great elements necessary to make a positively remarkable fantasy come to life before the reader's eyes. There is humor, both dark and light; love; loss; gruesome and original action; and nail biting suspense. The well rounded story comes together in an exceptional way whics leaves the door open for the follow up in the series, yet the author leaves no loose ends untied. A truly magical read!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

Run For Your Life by James Patterson

2009-05-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

Run For Your Life by James Patterson
(Thriller)

With over 160 million copies of his books sold worldwide, you know when you come to an author like James Patterson that you're not going to be disappointed. His characters are honest, realistic, and full of charm. His stories- gripping, hair raising, and full of moments that leave you hanging on to the edge of your seat in preparation for what's going to come next. To put it ever so briefly, Patterson is a master novelist with an edge for creating the utmost engaging and thoroughly addictive written word.

As has been the case with all of his previous works of fiction, the same can be said for his most recent release, co-authored by Michael Ledwidge, Run For Your Life. In this fast paced, heart thumping thriller, Detective Michael Bennett (first introduced in Step on a Crack) fights to untangle the mysterious web of deception surrounding the sudden attack on New York City's elite crowd.

When an unknown assailant, dubbed by himself as The Teacher, goes on a murderous killing spree "educating" the self righteous of Manhattan, Detective Bennett finds himself hand picked by the city Commissioner to flush the guy out and bring an end to the sudden and terrifying attacks. Because of his previous experience with the Catastrophic Response Unit, Bennett is a strong candidate, if ever there was one, to locate and intercept the brutal monster determined to "teach" New York about manners. But to do so, Bennett must not only try to figure out the true identity behind The Teacher's facade, he must also determine what links his crimes to his passion and whether or not there's any rhyme or reason to his madness.

As a single father, since his wife's untimely death just over a year before, Mike struggles to hold his family together with as little drama as possible. Yet when all ten of his kids come down with the flu at the same time as The Teacher decides to start giving lessons around town, Mike decides it truly couldn't be any worse. He's a good cop and marvelous dad, but a man needs a chance to breathe, if only for a second, if he's expected to think. And thinking clearly is exactly what he needs to be able to do if he's going to understand the juxtaposition of the random and gruesome attacks taking place across the city. Surely they're all being carried out by the same man, the one and only Teacher. It's just a matter of getting the pieces of the puzzle to come together to form the big picture that will then clue them, the authorities, in to what his ultimate plan could possibly be.

Big breaks come few and far between, and unfortunately for Bennett each one comes with only more unanswered questions. But when he finally stumbles on to something that could actually put a kink in The Teacher's deranged and twisted plan, Bennett discovers just how far The Teacher is willing to go to impart his final lesson.

With a suspenseful plot that keeps you guessing til the very end, Run For Your Life is an action packed, compulsive read that nags you never to put it down until you've read the last word on the very last page.

If Alex Cross and the ladies from The Women's Murder Club were real, they'd all be highly pleased to welcome in to their circle Patterson's most recent straight shooting hero, Detective Mike Bennett. Worthy of great praise. Patterson, has once again done a fabulous job creating a leading character who readers will want to come back for time and time again.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

Bad to the Bone by Jeri Smith-Ready

2009-05-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

Bad to the Bone by Jeri Smith-Ready
(Urban Fantasy)

Ciara Griffin is back with her vamp friends from WVMP, and this time around the plot really thickens. Readers who are new to Smith-Ready and her incredibly original cast of characters should not be frightened to settle in with this wonderful read, but I would highly recommend first picking up a copy of the series debut, Wicked Game. For while this book could read as a stand alone, there's an awful lot of background story that new readers will miss out on if they skip straight to the second book.

When the station's signal starts being jammed and an anti-vampire, wack job religious group misappropriates their air waves Ciara and the undead crew of WVMP decide there will be Hell to pay. Not necessarily the Hell the the extremist nut job's are blathering on about either. The Hell Shane McAllister and his blood thirsty friends have in mind is something a lot more immediate and physical, though equally nasty and painful. For the vamps of WVMP, "The Lifebloof of Rock 'n' Roll" have a sweet gig going. They live in the station's furnished basement, play the music of their "life times", drink from willing donors, and all the while do so under the noses of the entire general public. Ciara's earlier marketing campaign to save the station took off so well that now the listeners believe the DJs are humans pretending, for ratings, to be vampires. The irony and reality of the matter is, however, that they truly are vampires, and as such they are pretending to be humans pretending to be vampires. Pretty trippy, eh?

If someone wants to take away the station or, worse yet, the lives of her friends, Ciara will do whatever she can to protect the DJs and help them take back control. Even going undercover and infiltrating a vampire victim support group, which later leads to her being kidnapped by the very people she hopes to stop, does not stay Ciara from caring about her vampire friends or her new rescued pet, her vampire dog Dexter. More specifically it doesn't hinder the feelings she has for Shane, her sexy and passionate, albeit reanimated, boyfriend. Nor does it

Bad to the Bone, the second installment in Smith-Ready's unprecedented urban fantasy series, will stir readers to delight with the action, passion, and edge of your seat excitement. In this wonderfully new take on the world of vampires, readers will again, find themselves falling head over heels for these mysterious creatures of the night. Lending not one ounce of heart to doubt, readers will be swept away by the concise and masterful way Jeri Smith-Ready weaves her story together. Each intricate part (ie Ciara's family history, Shane's family history, David's story, etc) blossoms forth into it's own unique tale which when fitted together with the rest adds to the alluring quality of the story as a whole which therein entrances the reader and inspires, if only for a moment, fanciful thoughts such as "What if there really were 'good' vampires?"

A page turner that is eerily mesmerizing and enchanting. This book does not fall short on any level, but instead picks up beautifully after the first book left off and leaves ample opportunity for the author to work her magic, yet again, with books three and four which are due out starting next year [2010].

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

P.S. For an added bonus, how about listening to each song mentioned on the "playlist" at the beginning of the book?

(Compliments of Jeri!)

Then if you have time, be sure to check out each song that inspires the chapter titles. (You can find the playlist HERE on Jeri's site. For some reason I can't get this second one's code to paste properly.)

Not only is this a fun way to be introduced to some great tunes you might not have heard before, it's also a really cool way to connect, in a sense, to your favorite characters/WVMP DJs.

Shapeshifter: The Demo Tapes Year 1 by Susan Helene Gottfried

2009-05-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

Shapeshifter: The Demo Tapes, Year 1 by Susan Helene Gottfried
(Fiction)

Fans who have followed Gottfried's blog posts since early 2006 will likely have already read the entries which make up Shapeshifter: The Demo Tapes, Year 1. But whether you fall in to this category or not, this book is one not to miss. Those who already read and delighted in the entries as blog posts will be thrilled to find them now in chronological order. Meanwhile, those who are new to Trevor's and Mitchell's world entirely, like myself, will enjoy finding themselves sucked in for the first time.

The thing about Shapeshifter: The Demo Tapes, Year 1 is that it doesn't really tell a story. Well, rather it tells small tidbits of story, but never anything in it's entrity. Written to be a companion piece to Gottfried's full length Shapeshifter novel, Trevor's Song, this compilation serves as an excellent introductory piece.

Readers are introduced to Trevor, Mitchell, and the band- Shapeshifter. And as we follow them from their first chance meeting, via Mitchell's sister Amy, we become drawn in and are given the chance to really get to know the characters better. For instance, you know Trevor comes from a bad place emotionally and physically. However, until several segments in to the book you don't realize from how bad a situation he came. We see that even though Amy and Mitchell drive each other crazy and thrive on making one another uncomfortable, just like any brother/sister combo does, underneath it all they both just want the best for one another and love each other fully. We watch the boys start out as young, wayward teens, and as the stories progress we see them continue to develope into strong, seasoned adults. The timeline is ragged and raw, yet that's precisely what makes you want to dive in and see what else goes on behind the scenes.

Through this preview into the crass, crazy, and often times hysterical rock and roll world of Shapeshifter we get to see what makes the cast tick, what makes their stories draw together. It's through doing so that we get that urge to satisfy the taste for more. It's true; this is like a classic case of luring and baiting- in a GOOD way! People will read Shapeshifter: The Demo Tapes, Year 1 and be left hungry for the full story that Gottfried has to tell on the pages of Trevor's Song when it releases. Unfortunately a release date is not currently available for Trevor's Song, but those who read this book and find themselves eager to see where the story goes should be sure to spread the word. The more public demand Gottfried feels for her book, the sooner- I can only assume, will we all be blessed by its release. I know she's eager, so join the Trevolution and help her out!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

P.S. If you think this sounds like something you'd be interested in reading you must be sure to check back, as I'll be hosting an interview/guest blog with the author here in the very near future.

FIRST Wild Blog Tour: Learning to Live Financially Free by Marybeth & Curt Whalen

2009-04-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

Today's Wild Card author is:

Marybeth and Curt Whalen

and the book:

Learning to Live Financially Free: Hard-Earned Wisdom for Saving Your Marriage & Your Money

Kregel Publications (February 16, 2009)

ABOUT THE AUTHORs:

Marybeth Whalen is a speaker and contributing writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries. The author of For the Write Reason, Marybeth has also written for Parent Life, Money Matters newsletter, The Old Schoolhouse, Hearts at Home magazine, and Homeschooling Today. She contributes regularly to the daily online devotions of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She and Curt are the parents of six children, which has taught them much about how to stretch a dollar.

Curt Whalen is a trained financial counselor through Crown Financial Concepts. He has years of experience helping couples establish budgets, solve financial problems, and learn to communicate more effectively. He has written articles for TEACH Magazine and Money Matters Newsletter and has contributed to books by authors Lysa TerKeurst and Melanie Chitwood.

Visit the authors' website.

Product Details:

List Price: $11.69
Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Kregel Publications (February 16, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0825441889
ISBN-13: 978-0825441882

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Finding Hope

Marybeth

Several years ago, my husband, Curt, and I traveled to Florida to visit my stepsister, Becky, and her husband, Chuck. Curt and I enjoyed a few days away from our kids and reconnected with family members we don’t get to see very often. One evening the four adults snuck away for a nice, leisurely dinner at Wolfgang Puck’s at Pleasure Island in Disney World. The environment was festive and fun, and all of our spirits were light as we sat around the table enjoying the sights, sounds, and delicious smells.

At one point during the conversation, we got on the subject of struggles we’d experienced in marriage. Curious as to the low points of other couples (we’ve certainly had our share!), I asked Becky and Chuck what their lowest point had been. Without even pondering, Becky blurted out, “When we didn’t have any money. Chuck had just taken a job with his dad and wasn’t making much as a starting salary. I can clearly remember one time when I went to the grocery store and my card was declined because it was maxed out. I’ll never forget having to leave my groceries behind. I felt like every eye in the store was watching me. That was the lowest point in the history of our marriage—and it took awhile for it to get better.”

Becky and Chuck’s financial situation did change. They became financially independent and now enjoy a lifestyle few people do. Yet as they sat at dinner that night—years after that difficult time—Becky could easily recall the humiliation of struggling with money. That period still haunted them and still counted as the roughest trouble they had ever faced—beyond the divorce of his parents, issues related to children, cross-country moves, and several health problems. Not having enough money and struggling to pay for basic needs had left an indelible mark on their marriage.

I never forgot that moment with Becky and Chuck. I think of it often, as it is a telling commentary on the power that financial issues can have in a marriage. Marriages break up every day over money. Mismanagement, miscommunication, and misunderstandings drive a wedge between husband and wife. Instead of getting in the ring and fighting for their finances together, many couples throw their hands up and walk away—from the problems, but also from each other. In a study done by Money magazine, 84 percent of those surveyed said that money causes tension in their marriage, and 13 percent said they fight about money several times a month.1 Another study cited that 37 percent of couples say that debt is the number one issue that will spark a fight. “Numerous studies have shown that money is the number one reason why couples argue—and many of the recently divorced say those battles were the main reason why they untied the knot.”2

Curt and I teetered on the edge of throwing in the towel on our marriage many times. We’ll tell our story throughout this book, and we’ll also share the lessons we learned during our time in the ring as we literally fought to get our finances under control. Our prayer is that this book will help other couples find the freedom that can result from living financially sound lives. The truth is, money is not an isolated issue within a marriage—it infiltrates every other area of the marriage. From the kitchen to the bedroom, money problems will follow you. Once you get a handle on this area of your marriage, you’ll find that other problems seem to evaporate into thin air. It’s been our experience that the stress of money problems adds an air of negativity to the marriage as a whole. Working together to eliminate those problems can breathe fresh hope and life into what seemed like a lifeless, hopeless situation.

If you’ve picked up this book, then chances are you need to make some changes in your finances. And you’re not alone. Our country as a whole is in a downward financial spiral that is picking up speed with each turn of the calendar page. “On average, today’s consumer has a total of 13 credit obligations on record at a credit bureau. These include credit cards (such as department store charge cards, gas cards, or bank cards) and installment loans (auto loans, mortgage loans, student loans, etc.). Of these thirteen credit obligations, nine are likely to be credit cards and four are likely to be installment loans.”3 “Revolving consumer debt, almost all from credit cards, now totals $957 billion, compared with $800 billion in 2004, according to the Federal Reserve. Average car loans are up, too, to $27,397, from $24,888 four years ago. Home mortgages total $10.5 trillion, compared with $7.8 trillion in 2004.”4

Our personal financial choices are now being reflected on a national level. As we write these words, our nation is experiencing one of the hardest economic challenges since the Great Depression. For decades we have lived beyond our means, using debt as a tool to obtain our wants. And now our house of cards is crumbling around us. We find ourselves with a national debt that has surpassed the ten-trillion-dollar mark, a banking system that is undergoing radical change, and billions of dollars of value that has been lost on Wall Street as the Dow plummets from over 14,000 down to lows we never thought possible. Economists have stopped asking if we’re going to be in a recession and started asking how bad and how long it will be.

The national climate of anxiety and uncertainty is also the climate of many homes.

A Commitment to Change

The reality of our poor financial choices hit Curt and I one night four years ago, a few days before Christmas. What should have been a time of festivities and celebrating became just another cause for stress. We didn’t know how we were going to afford the expensive presents on the kids’ lists. We didn’t want to tell them no, yet to buy gifts meant adding to our already overwhelming debt load. Because of our faith, we took God at His word when He said that nothing is impossible with Him (Luke 1:37). And yet, from where we sat, our situation looked impossible.

For years, we’d been trying to do something to change our financial picture, to no avail. We desperately wanted to stop using credit cards, yet financial emergencies always cropped up that drove us back to credit card purchases. We wanted to begin tithing and saving, yet there was never any money left over to do that. We wanted to begin chipping away at our debt, and yet we saw no way to do so. We felt trapped at every turn. We’d gotten ourselves into a financial mess. Never before that night had we felt more strongly about getting out of our mess.

As we sat in our parked car at a shopping center near our home. I watched as the other shoppers bustled past us, intent on their lists and last minute errands. I vaguely wondered how many of them were slipping deeper into debt as they charged purchases they couldn’t really afford. Meanwhile, Curt and I talked for over an hour, working through what it would take for us to change our spending habits and take steps toward achieving our dream of being debt free. Though neither of us realized it yet, that night was the beginning of a major change in our lives. We were embarking on a journey that would enable us to escape the bondage of debt and begin to enjoy financial freedom. It would be a journey of many years as we endeavored to live differently from the rest of the culture and swim against the current on money issues.

I’ve often wondered why that night was different than our many other conversations throughout our marriage that had begun, “What are we going to do about our money problems?” Although some of our past efforts had resulted in temporary changes, nothing we did ever stuck. We quickly slipped back into our old ways and debt always seemed to creep back in. Even if we closed a door, debt seemed to find a window. So what made this night—this conversation—different?

First, just a few days before, we’d learned we were expecting a baby. This news had prompted us to evaluate how we could become more financially stable as we prepared for this additional responsibility. In short, it was time to get serious. Second, this impending life change and the urgency we both felt resulted in a unity of purpose that we’d never had before. In the past, our convictions about getting out of debt and making hard changes were usually separate, with one person not as sold on the necessity of the plan. We had never been on board at the same time.

Finally, and most importantly, God met with us that night in the car, allowing Curt and me to feel the same conviction and urgency. God went before us and prepared our hearts, as He is faithful to do. We looked across that car at each other and decided that, not only could we do this, but that together we would do this. Whatever it took. In our ignorance we were actually excited about working together to slay this debt monster and change our financial picture. God created unity where once there had been anger and blaming.

Heart Attitudes

Since that night, I’ve learned that getting out of debt requires allowing several basic attitudes to take root in our hearts. Notice I did not say in our minds. The Bible points to the heart as the center—the very essence—of who we are. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” All of our thoughts and actions flow from our hearts. It’s funny how we seem to relate money to our heads and not our hearts. But we miss the mark when we do that. Without allowing these attitudes to take root in our hearts—at the very center of our being—our plan for debt reduction would have quickly fallen by the wayside as unexpected expenses and “opportunities” came our way. By presenting a united front in our battle with debt and allowing these attitudes to determine our actions, we’ve been able to stick with our plan. Though we’ll go into the specifics of our plan in other chapters, I first want to cover these four heart attitudes.

An Attitude of Commitment

Because we saw the necessity of reducing our debt and were committed in our hearts to doing that at all costs, we were not tossed about by the waves (Eph. 4:14) when real life hit. We set a goal and held each other accountable to reaching that goal. We are committed to God and to each other as a team. Our plan to become debt free was a long-range plan. In a world of fast food, microwaves, and instant access, it’s not easy to walk out every agonizing step in a long-range plan. We knew that results would be long in coming and that we had to fix our eyes on the goal, not the circumstances, and hang onto the Lord to get us through. We’ll spend all of chapter 4 talking about how to become a team.

An Attitude of Obedience

A key to obedience is recognizing God’s ownership of all things. We were both convinced that God would help us get out of debt if we were obedient to Him. This obedience required me especially to obey not only God, but my husband as well. Though submission is a dirty word in most circles, it was essential on our journey. I had to let my husband lead—even when I doubted his decision and even when he made mistakes. I couldn’t step out of the chain of command, and at first I had to continually confess this struggle to the Lord. The good news is, it got easier for me, and my husband became a natural leader for our family. The more power I handed over to him, the more I saw him grow. I am the direct beneficiary of the blessings of obedience. Through this journey, I’ve had many opportunities to show my husband my respect, trust, and honor as our provider and leader of our home.

An Attitude of Surrender

This period of getting out of debt hasn’t been all rosy, as we’ll relate later in this book. Obedience has required sacrifice. I’ve had to surrender my wants and reduce my expectations. I’ve had to learn to go without, to trust God to provide, and to lay down my desires. We’ve both had to make adjustments in our spending and truly “count the cost” of every spending decision. We’ve learned to surrender our desires in the name of honoring God’s plans for our family, trusting Him to continually bring about the best outcome possible—more than we can ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20).

An Attitude of Prayer

As we’ve laid down our wants, we’ve had to go to God and cast all our anxiety on Him (1 Peter 5:7). He has shown Himself to be a great listener and comforter. We are learning to go to Him with our specific financial concerns and to give Him all the praise when He meets our needs in miraculous ways. Our time of financial readjustment has truly increased my prayer life as I’ve become more intimately acquainted with Jehovah-Jireh, my provider. I have learned what a detail-oriented, personal God He is. This experience has deepened my faith—a benefit I did not expect.

As we’ve walked through this time of going to God for everything we need, I’ve learned to trust in Him more completely. Though I’ll talk about this in more detail later, I want to share some things that happened just last summer that illustrate how God answers even what most would call silly, insignificant prayers. Know, though, that nothing we pray is silly and insignificant to God!

• In past summers, we’d gone to a farm and picked buckets of blueberries. But it was not cheap to buy the blueberries—and I knew that we didn’t need to spend the money. So I told the Lord about how I wanted blueberries. I didn’t really ask Him for blueberries, per se, I just told my Daddy how I was longing for some blueberries for making pancakes, muffins, cakes, and other dishes. Just a few days later, I was talking with a woman I barely knew, and she mentioned that she and her family would be going out of town for a few weeks. She said that she worried about their large blueberry bushes with no one to pick them—and would we like to come and help ourselves while they were gone? Would we! We were able to pick bags of blueberries—for free!

• My son needed a new bike to ride up to our neighborhood pool because his had been stolen. We simply did not have it in the budget to buy the new bike—and yet the mother’s heart in me broke every time I saw him walking up to the pool while all the other kids rode past him. I told God how much it hurt and asked Him to provide my son with a bike when I could not. Just a few days later I was at a children’s consignment store and there, for a very inexpensive price, was a bike that looked almost new and was the perfect size for my very tall son. Why was this bike at a children’s consignment store that day? Because God orchestrated it so that I would find it. At least that’s what I believe, and that’s why I praised Him that day for answering this mother’s prayer and taking care of yet another detail in my life.

• One day I was craving a good, old southern tomato sandwich, a staple of my summer diet. But we had no tomatoes. I was just about to get in the car and drive to a produce stand to buy the tomatoes when I felt God tell me not to go, but to wait for the tomatoes. What a strange response, I thought. But I obeyed, wondering what God was up to. Within the hour, my son ran in from the neighbor’s house with several large, juicy ripe tomatoes in his hands. “Mom,” he cried. “Miss Joyce had too many tomatoes and I told her you’d love to have some!” I didn’t miss that opportunity to let my son know how God had used him to answer his mom’s prayer.

• A new necklace was all the rage and caught my eye several times as I saw it on the necks of other women. Usually I’m not much of a jewelry person, but there was something different about this particular necklace. I even found one for a reasonable price at a little home jewelry show and had it in my hand to buy it when I felt God nudging me to put it back. “But it’s a great price,” I told God—as if He didn’t know that. Again, I felt Him telling me to put it back. I will provide, I heard Him say. The following month we were visiting my stepsister, Becky, in Florida and I noticed that she was wearing that same necklace. I told her how much I liked it. “Oh,” she replied. “Do you want one? Because I got one for a gift and certainly don’t need two!” And just like that, I was the proud owner of a necklace I really wanted. And I didn’t have to spend a dime.

These are a few just examples of the countless times that God has shown us that He hears our prayers, He cares about the details, and He will move on our behalf. Sometimes we just have to be patient. And sometimes we have to learn to take no for an answer. Because I’ve seen God provide in miraculous ways, I’ve learned that when He says no, there has to be a good reason. And I must accept his no and move on instead of brooding over it. This process has taught me much about holding the things of this earth lightly—and has drawn me closer to the Father’s heart in the process. Through it all, we’ve indeed found hope in what could have been seen as a hopeless situation.

Do you need to find hope for your finances? The God of hope (Rom. 15:13) is waiting to show you the way out of debt and into freedom.

Study

Read Genesis 6:5; Luke 2:19; and Hebrews 4:12. How do these verses relate our thought lives to the condition of our hearts?

Reflect, Discuss, Plan

1. Was it a different concept for you to think of money as being tied to your heart attitude instead of your thought life?

2. What heart attitude do you struggle with the most—commitment, obedience, surrender, or prayer? Is there a part of you that still wants to control the situation and is hesitant about involving your heart in the process?

3. In the car that night prior to Christmas, we took a big step toward getting out of debt, as we verbally committed to each other to do whatever it took to get out of debt. Has there been a time when you’ve taken this step with your spouse? Does there need to be?

4. Have money problems been the lowest point in your marriage? If so, why do you think that is?

Take Action

Are you facing a particular situation that feels hopeless? (A bill that’s due, large amounts of debt to pay off, a purchase that needs to be made but no money to make it, etc.) Write down Romans 15:13 and then spend time praying that verse aloud. If you’re working through this book with your spouse, pray together.

Secrets to Happiness by Sarah Dunn

2009-04-24T10:46:00.001-07:00

Secrets to Happiness by Sarah Dunn
(Fiction)

The image and layout of cover for Secrets to Happiness by Sarah Dunn gives off a calming and happy feel. What's not to love about a cute puppy basking in the Summer sun on a thick green bed of grass? It's almost as if the cover is to say, "Once you find happiness all your worries will be gone and you can sit back and just soak it up." Not an entirely true statement by any means, but it does sound good.

What readers will find when they tear in to Dunn's new novel, Secrets to Happiness, is that true happiness can be quite ellusive. No matter how confident you are in yourself or your surroundings, all it takes is one small misstep to send your world tumbling down around you. Such is the case for Holly Frick.

Holly started out with big dreams- be a wife, be a writer, be a mom, be successful. But as she becomes more hopeful that each will take off, the opposite happens and they crash miserably. Her marriage falls apart, and her husband leaves. Trouble is, she's still in love with him. Her career takes a nose dive when she gets moved to writing for a low rate tween's tv show, and her novel doesn't generate the heat she'd hoped. It seems to Holly that she's constantly fighting an up hill battle where she can never gain any ground.

Wondering if she's doomed for a life of failure and angst, Holly settles in to the routine of just getting by. Soon just getting by seems to be what she sees taking place all around her. Intimate relationships are in the toilet. She's taken to sleeping with a friend's younger- legal, but way younger- brother, behind the friend's back. And even her best friend [Amanda], who she thought had a rock solid marriage, secretly announces that she's having an affair.

Holly, always the moral compass- even though in most ways she's more likely to dole out the advice than to follow it, tries to convince Amanda to back off the affair. She's got too good a thing going with her husband Mark, and she doesn't need to screw that up for a fanciful fling. It gets worse when Holly, who actually starts out thoroughly despising Amanda's lover, decides she herself is quite taken by him.

Adding to the list of craziness that is Holly's life she chooses to adopt a dog. She hopes that perhaps a canine friend will bring her some much needed comfort from the strained and lonely existance she's come to know, and an animal can't betray her trust like a human. Can he? What Holly doesn't know when her heart settles on her new found friend is that he is dying. The cancer should be treatable, but only time will truly tell.

Secrets to Happiness, is not a book that reflects positively on marriage, but rather portrays the many characters (whose stories are all so intricately interwoven) living a very capricious existance. It doesn't matter what tomorrow may bring or what the consequences are of their actions; they all just do as they please- when they please. What's sad about it is that as unfortunate as it is I believe Dunn has probably written herself a very realistic story. Despite how much I'd love to see the sanctity of marriage really built up in a book and in today's society as a whole, I think the lamentable truth of the matter is that today marriage is not considered worth fighting for. I believe that most people are out to find the quickest high, no matter the long term cost to their own existance. The fact that people seem to feel genuine happiness is always on the other side of the fence just goes to show what a superficial and shallow culture we've become. If we can't see the beautious world around us we'll never be sincerely happy.

Keeping this assessment in mind, I still quite enjoyed Dunn's book. Much as I was disappointed with many of the character's decisions, I felt Dunn stayed true to her concept of showing how far people, from all walks of life, will go to find what they consider to be true happiness and contentment. Secrets to Happiness never felt overworked or too heavy, despite the bittersweet storyline or many thought provoking topics-controversial as many were- that she interjected. Instead, the author did a fine job of keeping even the most deep or depressing of aspects rather upbeat with her continuous witticisms.

Dunn also showcased her ability to draw in the casual reader through her very real, every day, commonplace remarks. Some examples would be her reference to MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers), Highlights Magazine, and Crisscross Applesauce. I am a leader for my local MOPS group, used to read Highlights in the doctor's office (just like Holly remembers doing), and my daughter learned Crisscross Applesauce at school. These may seem like insignificant portions of the book to latch on to, but something about them is very familiar which allowed the story to draw me in deeper. As a whole, despite the many characters and story facets, Secrets to Happiness had a seemless flow and kept a great pace through to very the last page.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

**Thanks to Miriam @ Hatchette Book Group for sending along this review copy!**

The Twelve Sacred Traditions of Magnificent Mothers-in-Law by Haywood Smith

2009-04-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

The Twelve Sacred Traditions of Magnificent Mothers-in-Law by Haywood Smith (Non-Fiction/Humor)

If you are like me and have been blessed with a great mother-in-law then you probably don't even need to consider this book. However, if you are getting ready to get married or know of someone who is, or better yet- know of someone who is currently engaging in a rocky dynamic with their mother-in-law, then this little gem by Haywood Smith may be just the gift to get.

With her previous books being set in a fictional realm you might expect for The Twelve Sacred Traditions of Magnificent Mothers-in-Law to also be fictional. You'd be wrong. In this light hearted handbook Smith outlines twelve etiquette guidelines that, if followed, will help ensure your realtionship with the in-laws to be far less chaotic and stressful than that which we've all become familiar with by watching even just one episode of television's "Everybody Loves Raymond". Here we have a show that was hilarious to watch, but if the show stared ourselves instead of the Barone family we'd probably find the humor somewhat lacking.

Moms are great, but many have a very hard time letting go of the reins on their grown child's life. It's okay to want the best for your child and to want to help make sure they are well taken care of, but it's not okay to continue to try to parent your child and direct his/her life when he or she has long since left the nest. A mother-in-law can be both a blessing and a curse, and for the sake of everyone's well being and sanity I think it's very important that certain unspoken rules need to be in place and adhered to.

Mother-in-Laws don't have to be hated. Infact, they shouldn't be. But despite their best intentions often times what they mean as helpful and constructive advice or offers comes across as criticism and interference. If you are old enough to have a MIL then you are old enough to take responsibility for your own life and actions. And while it's great to have someone available to help you make it through the learning curve that marriage brings, that's what the spouse is there for. There should always be an open dialog between parents and their grown children so as to avoid hurt feelings, but the parents (MILs specifically) must be content with allowing their child to live his/her own life. It's unfair to press your own thoughts, opinions, way of doing things on your married child and their spouse. You had your chance to parent when your child was young, undoubtedly at the time you had to deal with your own MIL issues. Use this time to reflect on that, and make ammends with the fact that you now are the MIL and not the hand's on controller of the relationship. You were allowed to make your own decisions and mistakes as you settled into adulthood via marriage and parenting. Now is the time to relenquish control of your child's life and give him/her that same opportunity.

In The Twelve Sacred Traditions of Magnificent Mothers-in-Law Smith does a first-rate job of gathering together what are probably the twelve most crucial rules for families to abide by if they are going to go about their business with as little conflict as possible. I won't list what the rules are here because I think that's half the fun of this book- waiting to see what the guidelines are and how they rank alongside each other. Let's just say that they are all very simple, and if MILs, DILs, and SILs would take the time to review them I think there would be far less agitation in the world of in-laws.

Written in a witty prose with humorous illustrations scattered throughout, this is a book that packs a punch full of wisdom and advice but does so in a way which makes it fun and diverting. A definite must read if the MIL topic applies in any fashion to you!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

The Makedown by Gitty Daneshvari

2009-04-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

The Makedown by Gitty Daneshvari
(Chick-Lit)

I must admit I'm a sucker for a good chick-lit read. As a busy mom I enjoy being able to occassionally relax with a book that requires no thought, yet totally keeps me entertained. That, to me, is an area that chick-lit, as a genre, excells in. I'm also a huge fan of fairy tales. Therefore, Gitty Daneshvari's The Makedown greatly appealed to me because it's not only chick-lit but a fractured fairy tale of sorts.

When we meet Anna she is overweight, has horrible skin, and suffers from major self esteem issues. Anything but the princess deserving of a prince, in appearance that is, Anna finds herself struggling to survive the day to day trials her weight brings her. She is not comfortable in her skin, but she feels helpless to do anything about it. Lacking the motivation she needs to fully achieve the body and life she secretly desires, Anna continues to live her day to day existance in a perpetual downward spiral.

After Anna's parents drop the bombshell that her father is leaving her mother, Anna decides she has to get away. Staying at home is no longer an option if she's going to stay sane. Who knows what New York will have to hold, but that's where Anna finds herself drawn. Every girl deserves to have a Fairy Godmother, or FG as Anna calls her. Maybe if she looks hard enough she'll find her in New York.

Once in New York, however, Anna finds out that her weight is an even bigger issue than she'd once thought. Everyone is stunning and skinny. She'd thought fitting in at home was hard, but compared to big city it was paradise. With no job and nothing on the horizon but take out egg rolls and pizza by the slice, Anna determines she must find her silver lining. Nothing could be worse than having to turn around, tail between her legs, and head for home.

That why when a low rent, bottom dollar job opportunity comes around Anna opts to give it a chance. It's not every day a girl with a molecular biology degree decides to become a caterer's assistant for bare minimum wage, but a job's a job. Anna doesn't intend for things to become permanent, but rather gauges she'll give the job a couple of weeks go and see where it leads.

Where it ends up leading is farther than even Anna's wildest dreams could have predicted. Befriended by her boss Janice, a former fatty, Anna is ripped from the world of fast food and empty calories to a world of healthful eating and exercise. Her figure and appearance no longer an issue, Anna suddenly finds herself on the radar of the one man her own senses have honed in on.

Ben is a well to do lawyer, suave and sophisticated. Gorgeous and outwardly everything a girl could want, Ben is lightyears outside of Anna's league. Even with the drastic makeover, Anna admits there is no logical reason why Ben should pay her even the time of day. Ben, on the other hand, determines to step outside his normal comfort zone and go for something- rather someone- a little more comfortable.

From the beginning Anna and Ben's relationship is very "prince and the pauper" like. Ben coming from a very high class way of life; Anna coming from a very middle class way of life. Both are polar opposites in the grand scheme of things, and still they're drawn to one another like magnets. Having this handsome stud on her arm isn't enough, however, to calm the storm that brews within Anna. Always last one picked and never the belle of the ball, the one thing that keeps Anna from living in harmonial bliss with her handsome catch is the fact that he is so handsome. Born and bred from strong stock, Ben is used to living a life where he receives lots of attention. It's not that he's pig headed, though in a sense he is, it's that he thrives on the positive attention vibes he receives from others. The fact that he's openly flirtatious as well does nothing to sooth Anna's inner insecurities.

Ben is unaware of Anna's past and the hurdles she's had to cross. To him his behavior is normal and friendly, but to Anna it's just too much. She's come so far, but Anna will never be one of the beautiful people. Socially and physically out classed by Ben, Anna's fear of losing him turns into the catalyst which sets her on the road to complete and utter failure. If she can never climb the ladder to reach the heights where Ben resides, perhaps she can bring him down a few pegs to rest on her very own level.

In a "makedown" of epic proportions Anna gets in deeper than she initially intends. Her fairly harmless game plan to make Ben slightly less appealing, to the masses of flirtatious bimbos on the street, backfires. It's no longer an innocent plan in action to shift Ben from his prior elegant status to that of a lowly middle class joe schmoe. Her actions have cut far deeper than that, and now she's left wondering can their relationship survive? Moreover, will she ever be able to accept herself and truly be happy with who she is as a person both inside and out?

Laugh out loud funny, The Makedown was a book I could not get enough of. From the hilarious cover to the incredible storyline, this was a book that made me laugh but also made me feel. Daneshvari's writing is fluid and witty. And I throughly loved her clever plays on words. One example would be from pg 7 when she talks about Anna's brother Barney masturbating. Not, in general, a funny subject per se, but how could one not find humor in it with puns such as "trips to the bathroom with the yearbook petered off" and "Mother... cocked her ear against the hollow wood [door]."? Do you see what I mean? It was this jocular tone and technique that made it impossible not to anxiously await each up coming page.

This story was fresh and fun. The fact that the characters were well developed and genuninely believable only made it that much more enjoyable to read. Even the slightly psychotic side of Anna was believable because despite how crazy and outlandish some of her behaviors were I felt they were honestly [and sadly] ways that someone [most certainly not everyone by any means] with such a sorry impression of themself and with such emotional insecurities could act. I'd hate to be that person or the person she/he was involved with, but I don't think Daneshvari could have done a better job writing the role of this conflicted character. As far as the story as a whole goes, I was a bit disappointed with the direction the ending went. I, however, can certainly respect and appreciate why the author chose this particular route. Not only does it definitely work; it provides an interesting sort of closure.

I got strange stares and questions about what I was reading everytime I went out in public with this book. The cover itself is a conversation starter, but I also couldn't help but laugh audibley with the off the wall and sometimes over the top humor contained on the pages. Lest I go on further and give too much away, let me just say that I believe Daneshvari has a real winner here!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

Free E-book from Author CJ West

2009-03-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

From Author CJ West...

Hello Readers,

I have a special gift for you today!

I'm in a celebratory mood since Marla Cukor has finished the screenplay based on Sin & Vengeance. Readers have been raving about Sin & Vengeance since it was released 3 years ago, but you've probably never heard of it.

Now is your chance to read it for free!

I'm hoping that if enough people read the book online, we'll have a huge audience for the movie when it comes out.

Here's what you can do with your free Ebook:

You can save it.
You can read it.
You can copy it.
You can email it.

You can email the link if you'd like to save space.

Just please don't change it or sell it.

Above all, please, please, please share it!

http://www.22wb.com/freesinbook.htm PASSWORD: cjwest

Enjoy!
CJ

If you'd like to see more of what CJ has to offer then be sure to check out the rest of his website at http://www.22wb.com/ .

Brenda Novak's 5th Annual Online Auction for Diabetes Research

2009-03-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

Don't miss NYTimes Bestselling Author Brenda Novak's 5th Annual Online Auction for Diabetes Research, where you'll find meet and greets with your favorite authors, gift baskets, autographed books, trips & stays, jewelry, quilts, opportunities for aspiring writers and more. Help Brenda make a difference to her son and others. Visit http://www.brendanovak.com/ and register today. The first 500 to register will receive a free copy of TRUST ME, Book 1 in Brenda's popular Last Stand series.

Would-Be Witch by Kimberly Frost

2009-03-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

Would-Be Witch by Kimberly Frost
(Paranormal Fiction)

Fans of paranormal fiction greats like Mindy Klasky, Kerrelyn Sparks, and Annette Blair will simply go head over heels for newly on the scene Kimberly Frost. Her dazzling debut, Would-Be Witch, is an absolute delight that this reader found near impossible to put down.

Tammy Jo Trask is a witch. What she is not is a very good one. Having opted to travel a different path in life than the one of magic her mother and aunts chose to follow, Tammy Jo is unfamiliar with and unskilled in what it takes to make the family legacy work to her advantage. Being the inspired and artful pastry chef that she is, however, this has never been an issue- until now.

Her heirloom locket stolen at a Halloween dress up party, Tammy Jo finds her swept away in a change of events unlike any other she's ever had the pleasure, or displeasure as it may be, of following. For you see, the locket isn't just a prized family heirloom. There more to it, much more to it, than that. The locket contains the spirit of Tammy Jo's great great grandmother's dead twin sister Edie. Happy to come and go as she pleases, Edie's soul resides in the locket, as opposed to crossing over to the otherside. Mostly she chooses when and where she'll appear, but there's also one time a year that she can not stop herself from coming out. And when she does her family must be in possession of the locket or it will mean sayonara for Edie. Unfortunately for both Edie and Tammy, that day is only just around the corner.

In a small town where rumors of magic are just that- rumors, Tammy Jo must find a way to invoke her inner witch. In a race against the clock and her family's rule book, she must not only get back her locket and save dead Edie's soul but also manage to stop a town-wide crime spree that only other creatures from the paranormal realm could possibly be heading up. With no family present to help her come unto her powers, Tammy Jo finds herself with no where to turn but to her family's sworn enemy- the flirtatious and dynamic Bryn Lyons. If anyone can help her harness her power, save Edie, and get the town back to its quiet Southern disposition it'll be Lyons.

Only trouble is, the town's not big enough for two studs vying for the same girl's attention. When Tammy's ex-husband, Zach, notices the seemingly undo amount of time and attention the pair is spending on one another, he's up in arms and ready to go to the mat. Being that he is a strong unbeliever in things of an otherworldly dimension, Tammy can't just break things down for Zach. Telling him any more than he absolutely must know will only endanger him more and make herself look like an even bigger nut in his eyes. Somehow Tammy Jo must decide how to juggle the two men suddenly thrown in to her life. There's no time for the raw emotions she herself is experiencing, and she must keep her head in the game.

Chock full of witches, werewolves, zombies, and mermen Would-Be Witch proves that Frost is a force to be reckoned with. Unlike some books where you can tell the author tried too hard to include too many facets that simply don't mesh together, this book flawlessly incorporates all sorts of fun elements and crazy creatures from the paranormal realm. From the git go I was entertained and thoroughly captured by the fun world created here in the tiny Southern town of Duvall, Texas. That being said, I can hardly wait for September when the next installment of Frost's Southern Witch Series is due to hit shelves.

Would-Be Witch is quite simply a remarkably fantastic debut!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It! by Larry Winget

2009-03-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It! by Larry Winget
(Self-Help/Personal Development)

Written by proclaimed New York Times Bestselling author and Pitbull of Personal Development, Larry Winget, People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It! was more than a book with a great title. Idiots come in every size, shape, color, and walk of life. As Larry showed, most people have a little idiot living in them on a daily basis. Sound hard to accept? Bah, it is until you read you read what Larry has to say, and then it all makes sense.

The subtitle to People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It! is The 10 Ways You Are Sabotaging Yourself and How You Can Overcome Them. See what I mean? It's saying we're all idiots because we all do stupid things that unintentionally hurt us when if we'd just use a little common sense on some really common issues, we'd find ourself in a far better position in life. Take for example the health issue that Winget brings up. People everywhere say they want to be healthy, self included, but when it really comes down to it we only do so much to reach that goal. We could set a goal and then work ardently towards achieving it. Or we could do what most people do, and only partially work towards the goal. A person who eats and exercises well because he wants to be healthy, but who then turns around and smokes cigarettes on a daily basis is an idiot. He's not overcoming the stronghold that keeps him from reaching his goal. He can eat as healthy as he wants and workout til kingdom come; however, if he continues to smoke he'll never be truly healthy.This is just one example that Winget gives throughout his book.

It's so easy to imagine that you're not one of the people he's talking to, and then you start to read what he's written and you find you were wrong. We all do stupid things. I wouldn't necessarily have gone on to proclaim we were all idiots for making small mistakes, but I'm not Larry. He's brash, he's hardcore, and he's straight to the point. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all. Infact, I think it's Larry's stick it to you attitude that really makes you raise the bar on your thinking. He's not pointing out anything new fangled. All he's really doing is approaching some common sense information in a new way.

I thought the book was well developed and informative. When there were sections where the author wanted you to list out certain aspects of your life, goals, etc he was certain to include space actually within the book. I personally feel incredibly naughty if I write in a book, so I still used scrap paper for those. However, I think it's great that the book is set up similar style to a workbook because I think many people would be far more likely to complete the list activities with the space provided directly to them within the pages of the book. And the book is designed to be effective in the reader's life only if he or she takes the time to do the lists. Without them it's like you're reading the info but you're not really applying to your own life.

People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It! is broken down in to three well defined sections. The first shows readers in what capacity we can all qualify as idiots. With the worksheet lists readers are given the opportunity to take a firsthand introspective look at their lives to see in what areas they might be coming up short. Once they've established what areas they are sabataging themselves in Winget moves on to the second section which sums up ways they can fix the idiot factor to move on to success. Again, the included worksheets are incredibly beneficial because readers can list out and plainly see what actions are needed to be taken if they are going to overcome the obstacles that are holding them back. Lastly the third section just pulls it all together and gets you to gather your thoughts on the book as a whole.

Moving beyond the definition of idiot to living out one's life with one's best dreams and goals at heart isn't difficult at all if you're willing to go the extra mile to figure out where you're causing yourself to go astray initially. As Winget shows, it's never too late to change, though obviously the sooner the better.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

I Choose to Be Happy by Missy Jenkins and William Croyle

2009-03-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

I Choose to Be Happy: A School Shooting Survivor's Triumph Over Tragedy by Missy Jenkins and William Croyle
(Memoir)

December 1, 1997 started out just like any other day for 15-year old Missy Jenkins, but a mere couple of hours later it took a serious turn for the worse. Gathered with 7 other friends and school mates for a morning pre-school prayer session, Missy was gunned down. Not just Missy, but several other students fell that morning as well. Sadly, as it seems to happen in most cases, some suffered a worse fate than others. The bullet that struck Missy hit in such a way that it caused her to become immediately paralyzed from the chest down. Yet, today we call Missy lucky and blessed. How could someone compare her outcome on this tragic day to a blessing? Because when put in perspective that's exactly what it was. Three of the victims that were shot in the lobby of Heath High School that morning did not survive.

Today, more than 11 years later, Missy has become more than just a survivor. Despite the complete and total life changing events brought about that December morning by 14-year old student, Michael Carneal, Missy is stronger than ever and has a tale of hope to share with any who will listen. That's not to say the road she took between then and now was easy, quite the contrary. It is though the shooting and that road to recovery that has made Missy the incredible speaker, counselor, sister, daughter, friend, wife, and mother she is today. Sure her life could have been easier and far less painful; yet, in retrospect, she has no doubt that God's hand has been on her life since day one. We all have a different path to follow, this particular path just happened to be the one Missy believes God had destined for her. As she goes on to suggest, God works in mysterious ways, and though we don't always understand why certain things happen, God is always in control and has a plan.

Reading Missy's firsthand account of the Paducah, KY shooting (The second in a sickening sweep of such across our nation in the years that were to follow.) and her recovery thereafter was not as much heart breaking as it was inspirational and amazing. Most people having been in Missy's shoes would have crumbled under the pressure of what they'd been through and what was yet to come. However, Missy used the tragic experience as a stepping block to not only better herself, but to strive to help others along the way.

So many times during the rehabilitation & recovery process, Missy could have given up. Being reminded daily, by her condition, of what all was taken from her that fateful morning, Missy could have become bitter and hateful. Yet, she's anything but. Today, Missy is a strong, intelligent, inspirational icon. Someone who has so closely encountered death, but lived to tell about it. Someone who suffered an unimaginable loss, but who lived to come out stronger because of it. Someone who never let her faith in God or mankind falter even though she had every right and reason to.

I Choose to Be Happy is an awe inspiring read that showcases how a single solitary action can change the course of history. Yet how something that seems to be a devestating loss can actually be turned for good if you're willing to accept the unchangeable, live without regrets, forgive, and never loose faith in God. Missy shows her true colors through this memoir, and those colors are as brilliant as the most magnificent rainbow.

Looking back on Missy's ordeal and everything she had to go through to get to today, I'm not sure I could say with all honesty that I could do it were I in her position. The strength and tenacity that Missy has had to develope and embody is truly unbelievable. Seeing everything that Missy has gone through to get where she is today is nothing short of moving. You can't help but feel utterly blessed just by reading a little bit about this trying journey that Missy has endured and used for good.

It was a pleasure to have had the opportunity to read this book. My thanks go out to the author and publicist who gave me this honor. Thank you.

And to Missy, should you read this, you truly are an amazing woman. I have the utmost respect for you, for having overcome all that you have, and for coming out on top. Even with the tragedy you had to endure, God has truly blessed you. I have no doubt He has used you in many great ways already and that He will continue to do so throughout your life time.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

FIRST Wild Blog Tour: Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World by Ken Ham and Steve Ham

2009-03-11T20:21:00.000-07:00

Today's Wild Card author is:

Ken Ham and Steve Ham

and the book:

Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World

New Leaf Publishing Group/Master Books (September 2, 2008)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Ken Ham is the founder and executive director of Answers in Genesis in the USA and one of the most sought-after Christian speakers in North America. He is also the author or co-author of many books, including The Lie: Evolution, The Genesis Solution, Genesis and the Decay of the Nations, What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs?, A is for Adam, D is for Dinosaur, Creation Evangelism for the New Millennium (now called Why Won't They Listen?), and One Blood: The Biblical Answer to Racism.

Visit the author's website.

Steve Ham, brother of Ken Ham and the youngest of six Ham children, is the founder and director of Growth Point Financial Ministries, an Australian charitable organization. Steve is married to his wife, Trisha, and is the father of two. He is also coauthor of Answers for Life.

Product Details:

List Price: $12.99
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: New Leaf Publishing Group/Master Books (September 2, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0890515425
ISBN-13: 978-0890515426

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

dead men

do tell tales

with Ken Ham

. . . the righteous shall be in

everlasting remembrance

(Ps. 112:6; NKJV).

legacy (lěg´e-sē) n. Something handed down, by one who has gone before in the past, and left to those in the present and future.

There is a saying, one that we have gathered from the legends of the Wild West, which says “Dead men tell no tales.” The saying implies that the knowledge and influence of the deceased goes with them to the grave, never to be heard from again. I find that not to be the case! Dead men do tell tales. If you ever take a walk around the small English town of Bedford, as I have, you will quickly see what I mean.

Bedford was the hometown of John Bunyan, author of the still very popular Pilgrim’s Progress, now in its 400th year of printing.1 The day I walked around the town, I saw reminders of John Bunyan everywhere — the site of the jail where he spent many years imprisoned, the site of the house in which he was raised, his statue in the town square, the church he preached at in later life with a museum of many of his personal items, and the church where he was baptized in 1628. Bedford even has a pub called “Pilgrim’s Progress Pub!” (I’m sure John Bunyan would love to know he had a pub named after his famous book!)

Something really hit me as I walked around Bedford. As I thought about the life of John Bunyan and how he was persecuted and jailed for preaching the Word of God, I wondered about what happened to those responsible for his persecution and jailing. There was no mention of any of Bunyan’s enemies in Bedford. In fact, in the large graveyard of the church where Bunyan rang the church bell as a child, I saw many very old gravestones. It is certainly possible that some of these gravestones stand on the graves of Bunyan’s persecutors. However, these gravestones were so eroded that the names had disappeared. Whoever these people were, their memory has all but gone. As I looked at these nameless gravestones, Proverbs 10:7 came to mind:

The memory of the righteous is blessed, But the name of the wicked will rot.

Certainly, this is the case in Bedford. The man who stood for the authority of the Word of God is remembered. The memory of those who opposed Bunyan has disappeared into oblivion. Bunyan and his books (particularly Pilgrim’s Progress) live on in the memories of people all over the world and in the printed pages that still come off the printing presses today. Yes, “The righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance.”

A very similar type of situation exists in the town of Worms, Germany. My wife, Mally, and I walked around this town, finding many memorials to the memory of Martin Luther, the great reformer who started the Reformation in 1517.2 There were various statues, plaques, and other markers that told the story of Martin Luther. I even had the awesome opportunity to stand at the very place where it is believed Luther stood when he was purported to have uttered these now famous words:

Here I stand [on Scripture]. I can do no other.

God help me! Amen.

I must admit, tingles went down my spine as I stood there and contemplated the life of a man who started a movement that has affected the world for the Lord to this day.

Again, I didn’t see any memorials to all of those who opposed Luther. They aren’t remembered in Worms; the memory of those who persecuted him is all but lost. Luther — the man who stood for the authority of the Word of God — is remembered, and his legacy continues to have great impact on the world today . . . even among those who don’t know his name. The righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance; but unfortunately, the unrighteous can still make an everlasting impact as they forge legacies of an entirely different kind.

If you walk the streets of Shrewsbury, England, you will find memorials to another man of great influence — memorials quite similar to those left for Bunyan and Luther. There is a statue outside his school and a sign outside of the home of his birth, noting the date of February 12, 1809. This is the birthdate of Charles Darwin, who at the age of 50 would publish On the Origin of Species. Throughout the town a similar pride is felt and is reflected in the names of many locations: Darwin Gardens, Darwin Terrace, Darwin Street, and Darwin Shopping Center.

There are similarities in the memorials to these three men, but the legacies they left behind could not be more different. Darwin proposed that “life” can be explained without God. By concluding that a supposed link between ape and man meant that there is no God (as detailed in his subsequent book, The Descent of Man), his ideas left humanity to decide right or wrong on their own, to write their own rules and do their own thing, following whatever seems best in their own eyes.

The implications of Darwin’s legacy are far-reaching. He paved the way for moral relativism, and fueled racism (claiming that blacks, aborigines, and others are inferior, less-evolved races.) His ideas have also fueled the abortion industry, leading to the conclusion that an unborn child is nothing more than a lump of cells (or just an animal) and that a woman has the right to kill it if she so chooses. The ideas of Darwin even paved the way for Hitler, who used them to justify the extermination of those he considered less than ideal — resulting in the mass murder of millions of Jews, gypsies, and others. His ideas have contributed to the erosion of the family, educational institutions, the decay of the legal system, and have led to great compromise in the Church.

To see evolutionary measures and

tribal morality being applied rigorously

to the affairs of a great modern nation

we must turn again to Germany of 1942.

We see Hitler devoutly convinced that

evolution provides the only real

basis for a national policy.3

One of the students involved in the Columbine (Colorado) school shootings wore a T-shirt with “natural selection” written on it. The more students are told they are just animals, and have evolved by natural processes — the more they will begin to act consistently with this view of origins. As generations are trained to believe there is no God, thus no absolute authority, then there is no basis for determining right and wrong — moral relativism will pervade the culture.

The late Dr. Carl Sagan and his wife Ann Druyan wrote an article that appeared in Parade Magazine, April 22, 1990, using the fraudulent idea of emybronic recapitulation popularized by Ernst Haeckel (the false idea that when an embryo develops in its mother’s womb it goes through a fish stage, etc., reflecting its evolutionary history, until it becomes human) to justify abortion. They claimed the embryo wasn’t really human until about the sixth month.

I’ve heard of girls who were told by an abortion clinic that what was in their womb was in the fish stage of evolution, thus they could abort it. A false view of origins leads to terrible consequences.

For example, families are breaking apart due to evolutionary views of unborn children as nothing but animals, and subsequent abortions that result. School shootings such as those at Columbine High School are prevalent among secular schools, because students view other students as animals. The ideas of Darwin are having an effect throughout the culture.

This is the Darwinian legacy: A false idea that has led to the destruction of the authority of the Word of God in our modern age. He popularized a philosophy that has convinced others that the Bible is not true, that everything is the result of random natural process, and that we are little more than animals; free to decide as we are bidden to decide.

Two signs outside of the Shrewsbury Unitarian Church speak for themselves. The first proudly proclaims:

Charles Darwin worshiped here

when he was young.

The second church sign, permanently etched as a motto to be seen by all who pass by, gives a clear indication of the legacy behind which the legacy of Darwin emerged:

No one has the only truth, this we believe.

Not a Question of “If”

Luther, Bunyan, and Darwin; these three men left two entirely different kinds of legacy. Each legacy continues to impact the world in different ways. Let there be no doubt: A legacy is a very, very powerful thing. Let there be no doubt about this either: You too will leave a legacy. Truly, it’s not a question of if you will leave a legacy, it is only a matter of what kind. Long after your body is laid to rest, the impact of your life will continue to spread throughout your community and your world. Never forget that your legacy will be felt most strongly by those closest to you: your family.

Your family desperately needs you to stand up and lead, because the world is drawing them in all the wrong directions. Statistics indicate that around 90 percent4 of the children from church homes attend public schools in America. Sadly, statistics indicate that seven out of ten of such students will walk away from the church after their senior high years.5

America is said to have been the greatest Christian nation on earth. This country has the world’s greatest number of Christian bookshops, Christian radio stations, churches, seminaries, and Christian and Bible colleges. It is inundated with all of the best Christian resources available, yet America is becoming less Christian every day . . . and many Christian parents are heartbroken to see their children move toward the world and away from the church.

Dads and moms are crying out for answers, and teachers are becoming increasingly concerned by the rebellious attitudes, lack of politeness, and vanishing Christian morals they see, even in “church kids.” Barna Research found that only nine percent of teens who call themselves “born-again Christians” believe in absolute moral truth.6 Family breakups, even among those calling themselves Christian, are startlingly common.7

What are the problems? What are the solutions? Are there answers that will deal with the heart of the problems and provide real solutions? Christian and secular books about the family and raising children abound, yet the questions continue. How should children be raised in today’s world? How can a family produce godly offspring dedicated to the Lord? What methods of discipline should be used in bringing up children? Should Christian children be kept in public schools to witness to others, or is Christian or home schooling a necessity? How can Christianity be made relevant to the younger generations?

The list of questions goes on and on, and the Christian family of today is deeply struggling to find answers. I believe there are answers — but I want to warn you that they may challenge your comfort zone, and they may go contrary to what is “acceptable” in your community. The answers may be labeled as “offensive” to those who are more worried about political correctness than righteousness.

Before you can even begin to search out and apply the answers, an even more fundamental question must be answered:

What kind of legacy do you intend to leave?

What type of memorials might be

left in your remembrance?

Can I humbly suggest that you can leave a memorial that can affect the world as Luther and Bunyan did? Many of you reading this might be saying, “Give me a break! They were great and now very famous men. They deserve such memorials, but I’ll never have statues or other memorials built in my memory. I’m not going to be famous like them.”

I disagree with that kind of thinking. You have no idea how God might choose to use you or your children or your children’s children. You must understand that God’s Word gives us the foundation from which we can do our best to build the right structure in our families. God’s Word (not your own wisdom or strength) is the basis of a godly legacy. The Bible alone is living and active, and able to divide and judge correctly, and its principles can lead to astounding results.

If you are going to leave a legacy like Bunyan or Luther, you are going to have to decide to go against the flow, because the flow of the world today is leading to decay, death, and even hell. Each of us has a personal choice to make regarding the future of our family. Will we lead into a legacy of life and freedom based on the Word of God, or will we lead our families into a legacy of relativism and death, as did Darwin?

The question is not rhetorical, but immensely practical, affecting everything that you might do and everything you might be. The type of legacy you choose will most likely have great impact on your community, your world, and, most graphically, your family. Which will it be? Will you lead your family into a legacy of truth, life, and freedom based on the Word of God, or will you lead your family into a legacy of relativism, bondage, and death, as did Darwin? It’s a decision each one of us must make. I know, I had to do it myself and it was a critical decision in my ongoing journey for truth and answers.

When I started high school, I eagerly looked forward to my science lessons. However, I was perplexed when the teacher taught that humans evolved from “ape-men,” and that animals had evolved over millions of years. My textbooks laid out what claimed to be convincing proof that we progressed from molecules to man without any outside influence. I was further taught ideas on how the universe had formed — but they all involved naturalistic processes. God wasn’t involved at all. They claimed that everything somehow exploded out of nothing all by itself, and they made it all sound so “scientific.” Everything I was taught about the origin of matter, life, and man conflicted with what my parents had taught me from the Bible. How was I to resolve this?

I sat down with my father and asked him to help me sort this out. Sadly, at that time there were no books or other resources that we were aware of that dealt with the creation/evolution issue. Certainly, none were readily available to us in Australia at that time. (When I look at all the resources available today, I often think back to this time in my life and realize how blessed people are today.)

From a scientific perspective, my father could not refute the supposed ape-men fossils, or the billions of years of evolution, or the supposed “big-bang” history of the universe. He wasn’t a scientist and he didn’t understand where these ideas had come from. Although my father had lots of answers in many areas where secular ideas contradicted Scripture, in this area of origins, he just didn’t have a defense — he didn’t even know where to start.

I completed high school, rejecting molecules-to-man evolution as a philosophy, but I didn’t have any solid scientific answers to defend my position. I was concerned about this, but my father’s words kept ringing in my ears:

Even if we can’t find an answer to explain why

the secular idea is wrong, we need to continue

to search and wait for the answer.

During my college years while studying for my science degree, I was bombarded with evolutionary ideas in biology, geology, and other subject areas. I still had no scientific response to what I was being taught, so I just lived with the dilemma — though I recognized that sooner or later I had to sort this out in some way. As I studied, however, I did observe that my textbooks and professors did not have convincing evidence for Darwinian evolution or the supposed billions of years for the age of the earth. I recognized there were numerous assumptions behind the various interpretations of fossil bones and the supposed long ages attributed to them, but I really wanted some answers.

Somehow, a little booklet that dealt with the creation/evolution issue from a biblical perspective came into my possession. As I read through this booklet, one particular section stood out from all the others. The author stated that from a biblical perspective, there could not have been death and bloodshed of animals and man before sin, since this would destroy the foundations of the gospel. As I thought about this something really hit me between the eyes: A Christian can’t consistently accept the idea of an earth that is billions of years old (with its supposed millions of years of layers of fossils that we know contain evidence of cancer and other diseases in bones), and accept the statements concerning sin and death in the Bible. Over the years, we have certainly developed such arguments to a much more sophisticated level, but the respect I had for the authority of the Word as instilled in me by my father caused me to recognize the vital importance of this death issue.

This small booklet gave me a number of biblical arguments about why Christians can’t accept molecules-to-man evolution and the Bible’s record of origins at the same time. For example, Darwinian evolution teaches man evolved from ape-like ancestors, but the Bible teaches Adam was created from dust and Eve was created from his side. Thus, there is no way one can consistently reconcile the Genesis account of the creation of man (if one takes it at face value) with the Darwinian account. These explanations sustained me for some time.

As the years progressed, the Lord confirmed in my thinking that it was important to wait for answers, just as my father had trained me. I learned to continue in heartfelt faith, based on what God said in His Word, in spite of a lack of understanding. Passages from Job have helped me considerably in dealing with secular ideas and secular interpretations of evidence when they conflict with what the Word of God says:

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding (Job 38:4).

Then Job answered the Lord and said: “I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:1–6; NKJV).

God aggressively quizzes Job through chapters 38 to 42, asking him questions about various animals and other aspects of the earth and universe that Job cannot possibly answer. “Job, were you there when I made the earth? Do you know this? What about this, Job? Do you understand that? How much do you know about this?” At the end of God’s inquisition, Job falls down in dust and ashes, basically saying, “I give up Lord — compared to You I know nothing.”

Psalm 147:5 reminds us that “Great is our Lord, and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite.” It is absolutely impossible that we should understand everything . . . yet God does, and for the time being, He has given us all the answers we need for a big-picture understanding of life and the universe in His holy and perfect Bible.

My father’s words echoed the truth of the Job passages. To this day, I often remember one of the things my father taught me: If the Bible can’t be trusted in one area, how can it be trusted anywhere else? Dad clearly understood the importance of not compromising God’s Word with man’s fallible ideas . . . and he taught me to do the same. Looking back on this time, I can’t help but think of Proverbs 2:3–6:

Yes, if you cry out for discernment, And lift up your voice for understanding, If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding (NKJV).

So, as I prayed for answers, I held to my faith in a vacuum of scientific evidence. Still, I felt the conflict between what I thought was “science” and my faith. (I found out later that there is a big difference between “observational science” which we all agree with, and “historical science” which involves the scientist’s beliefs about the past.) I really wanted to honor God’s Word and find the answers that would validate what I believed to be true. I needed some scientific answers to sort this out; but where would I find them? While I didn’t know it at the time, God was working in a special way to provide them for me.

God heard my earnest prayers. In 1974, during my post-graduate year, I mentioned the creation/evolution issue and my dilemma to a friend. He told me about a book that had been published in America which gave lots of scientific answers concerning geology and Noah’s flood. Where would I obtain such a book? I traveled into the city of Brisbane to visit the only Christian bookstore I was aware of. It was on the second floor of an old building — not very easy to find. When I described this book on the Flood to the woman looking after the store, she immediately went and found a copy of The Genesis Flood by Morris and Whitcomb. (I still have this first major creation book that began my creation library.)

As I read the book, I found so many answers to questions about dating methods, rock layers, fossils, and many other aspects of the creation/evolution issue. I was so excited! They were answers that made sense and clearly showed that observational science confirmed the Bible’s account of creation and the Flood. (Even though some of the arguments in this book are now out of date, subsequent research built on this publication has only reinforced the overwhelming evidence that confirms the Bible’s account of history in Genesis.) My eyes were opened and I began to understand the nature of the scientific arguments concerning the origins issue for the first time. I clearly remember smiling and thinking, Once again my father’s stand on the Scripture has been vindicated — and once again God’s infallible Word has judged the pretense of the evolutionists and the compromise of liberal theologians.

Almost 30 years later, while visiting a particular tourist attraction in Brisbane, an elderly lady recognized me and approached me. As we talked, I realized that she and her husband had owned the Christian bookstore where I purchased The Genesis Flood. I explained to her that this was the first major creation book I had obtained, and that it was an integral part of my journey through life. I shared with her that the Lord used that one book to begin a creation ministry in Australia, then Answers in Genesis in the United States, and now many other parts of the world.

She became very excited and told me that her husband had had a real interest in science, the Bible, and the creation/evolution issue. He had such a burden that he made sure he had a copy of The Genesis Flood in his bookshop after he found out about it. That book was there on the shelf waiting for me to purchase it.

Soon, I took the book to my father saying, “Dad, I’ve found many answers to the creation/evolution issue! Observational science does confirm the Genesis account!” To this day, I can still picture that smile on his face as he flipped through the pages. He so loved the Word of God and was so thrilled to have adequate answers to uphold God’s Word in Genesis. If my father had compromised his stand on the Word before he had the evidence to confirm its authority, I don’t believe I would be writing this book or be involved in active ministry today. Thankfully, my father’s faith held, and he chose to act on it. In the process, he began a legacy of worldwide influence that neither of us dreamed possible — not from a no-name bunch of outback Australians at least!

****

In a public cemetery in the city of Brisbane, Australia, stands a particular gravestone. The marker is not outstanding in any sense; it is not in any prominent place, nor do tourists gather at this spot. Throughout the city of Brisbane there are neither statues nor memorials in memory of the man whose body rests below the marker.

As one among the thousands of other gravestones, this marker is not easy to find. Unless you were specifically looking for it, there would be no reason to even think about searching for it, or to think it should be noteworthy from all the others, but it is noteworthy to me — even more than those of Luther and Bunyan. The words on this gravestone are few and simple:

In loving memory of HAM, Mervyn Alfred

who passed into the presence of the Lord on 9th June, 1995

Aged 66 years

“For me to live is Christ and to die is gain”

Forever Loved

No signs, no statues, no museum. Our dad, together with our precious and godly mother, will be remembered by memorials of a different kind . . . memorials that will stand into eternity, long after the plaques and portraits of others have fallen. Mum and Dad produced six living memorials in their children, and we, in turn, are now creating a godly inheritance to leave to our children. By the grace of God it will be a godly legacy that will teach and remind people for generations to come about the authority of the Word of God and the saving mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ.

A rag-tag bunch we are, dented and tainted by our own sin. We all have our struggles and battles with the old nature, but we praise the Lord for the godly parents to whom we were entrusted to be trained for our ministries in this world and the next.

Understanding the sovereignty of God, I know I would not be in this ministry if it wasn’t for the upbringing my parents gave me. They set the example as dedicated and humble Christians who intentionally sought to raise a godly family that would evangelize the lost in an ungodly world. The Answers in Genesis ministry is itself a memorial to my parents and the legacy they began in our lives and in our world.

Please understand that you too will leave a legacy to the generations to follow. They may not build memorials to you and it’s unlikely that they will place signs outside of the place of your birth . . . but what you leave behind will forever impact the hearts and souls of those in your family and beyond. You will leave a legacy; the only question is what kind of legacy will it be. May you recognize from this day forward one certain thing: The foundation of a legacy worth leaving is made up of a faith in God, and a trust in His Holy Word. All we have to build will either stand or fall on this foundation.

Consider this question: What will your children say about you when you die? When your days are done, what kind of legacy will live on in those you touched? Most importantly, will the Lord say “Well done, good and faithful servant”? (Matt. 25:21;NKJV).

Key thoughts from this chapter:

1. Everyone leaves a legacy. The only question is what kind of legacy it will be.

2. A godly legacy is built on the authority and sufficiency of the Bible.

3. A godly legacy begins with a decision, and may require waiting for answers to certain questions.

4. Leaving a legacy is a big deal. Our children, grandchildren, and the world will be eternally impacted by it.

Questions to consider:

1. Has your community been more influenced by legacies like Bunyan’s and Luther’s, or have the people around you been more influenced by legacies like the one left by Darwin?

2. What type of legacy did you inherit from your family?

3. Have you ever made a firm decision to leave a godly legacy for your family and your world? If not, please consider doing so now. Your decision will make an eternal difference.

Resources and tools:

John C. Whitcomb Jr., and Henry M. Morris, The Genesis Flood (Philadelphia, PA: Presbyterian and Reformed Pub. Co., 1961).

Josh McDowell, A Ready Defense (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1993).

Greg Bahnsen, Always Ready (Nacogdoches, TX: Covenant Media Press, 2004).

Brian Edwards, Nothing but the Truth (Darlington, England: Evangelical Press, 2006).

Endnotes

1. The Pilgrim’s Progress was published in 1678.

2. On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther nailed the 95 Theses to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany.

3. Arthur Keith, Evolution and Ethics (New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 1947), p. 28.

4. Daniel J. Smithwick, “Teachers, Curriculum, Control: A ‘World’ of Difference in Public and Private Schools,” Nehemiah Institute, Inc., Lexington, KY, 1999, p. 11.

5. T.C. Pinckney, “We Are Losing Our Children,” Remarks to Southern Baptists Convention Executive Committee, September 18, 2001.

George Barna, Real Teens (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 2001), p. 136, states: “If we apply a ‘correction factor’ to these responses, we would estimate that about one out of three [nearly 30%] teenagers is likely to attend a Christian church after they leave home.”

Barna Research Online, “Teenagers Embrace Religion but Are Not Excited About Christianity,” January 10, 2000, www.barna.org/cgi-bin/PagePressRelease.asp?PressReleaseID=45&Reference=D – states: “When asked to estimate the likelihood that they will continue to participate in church life once they are living on their own, levels dip precipitously to only about one of every three teens.”

6. Barna Research Online, “The Year’s Most Intriguing Findings, from Barna Research Studies,” December 12, 2000, www.barna.org/cgibin/PagePressRelease.asp?PressReleaseID=77&Reference=E&Key=moral%20truth.

7. Barna Research Online, “The Year’s Most Intriguing Findings, from Barna Research Studies,’ December 12, 2000, www.barna.org/cgi-bin/PagePressRelease.asp?PressReleaseID=77&Reference=E&Key=divorce. “Born-again adults are more likely to experience a divorce than are non-born again adults (27% vs. 24%).”

Broken Bulbs by Eddie Wright

2009-03-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

Broken Bulbs by Eddie Wright
(Sci-Fi/Horror)

If you're ready to go on a bizarre and crazy ride, Eddie Wright's Broken Bulbs is just the book for you. As a novella, what it lacks in size, it certainly makes up in story. The thing is though, this is not a book that just anyone could pick up and appreciate. It's dark, gruesome, and offbeat. The character, Frank, is not your average, run of the mill, center stage guy. He's intensely disturbed, and getting inside his head is like, I can only imagine, taking one hell of a wacked out drug induced trip. But then, that is the point, isn't it?

Frank, like everyone else, just wants to be a part of something- something great. Tired of being a nobody, he strives for "somethingness". That's where the enigmatic Bonnie comes in. Bonnie fills a need in Frank's life that no other person can fill, and she brings with her a source of inspiration that no one else can offer. Willing and able to directly inject Frank with seeds of genius, Bonnie opens the world to him as his creative muse. Freely playing the role of puppet master and audience, Bonnie pulls the strings to make Frank come unto his own in his search for "somethingness".

In a weird and complex way this story bridged the gap for readers like myself who have been fortunate enough never to have experienced any such deeply debilitating addiction as Frank obviously suffers from. I'm actually not really sure myself, even after reading the book, how much of what took place was supposed to have been real and what, if anything, was to have been figments of Frank's own messed up and severely strung out imagination. Take for instance, Bonnie. I have no clue if this chick really exsisted in flesh and blood or if she was simply a byproduct of Frank's fracked up mind. I think I'd have to read this one through from start to finish again just to fully grasp the tale in its entirity.

Broken Bulbs was disturbing and humorous, horrific and eccentric. Not a book for all, as I said already, but a book that will doubtlessly be well received and enjoyed within the right circles. One that will leave you wondering time and time again, "Did I just read that?!" Broken Bulbs is a fine specimen of what insanely inventive gems would be overlooked were it not for the fine world of independent publishing.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

For Couples Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

2009-03-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn
(Christian Living/Practical Life)

I can't begin to say enough how amazing this book was. Beth Moore called it "an important book!" Les and Leslie Parrott referred to it as an "eye opener". Saying anything less on either count would totally be selling this book short. No wonder it's on the best seller list. It was so completely revealing and insightful.

Just the other day I actually made the comment that I think every wife or wife-to-be should read this book. The statistical materials that Shaunti felt lead to incorporate are nothing short of incredible. I've been married for going on ten years this June, and I thought I knew all I needed to know about being a wife. Okay, not everything. I don't think you can truly ever know EVERYTHING. But that being said, I really didn't think I knew as little about some areas of the male make up as it turns out I did. So much of what the author goes in to should, you'd think, be such simple information that we, as women and wives, would have already known it. And yet when you really get in there and break things down you find out you really didn't have a clue. Or, I didn't anyhow. And seems, that I'm not the minority here or this book wouldn't be out for discussion in the first place.

After having spent countless hours researching, developing and reviewing survey questions and answers, and conducting thousands of interviews- all with and about men and their inner secret lives- Shaunti Feldhahn has gathered together her findings in to this great compact book. A book that will certainly open your eyes to a side of your man, and the male society as a whole, you had no idea existed.

There are so many things we women simply do not get about guys. That, however, doesn't mean that men are just sex driven clods underneath a suave exterior. As For Women Only shows, a guy's mind, heart, and being are all such complicated structures. Unfortunately, society has come to develope such a biased mindset when it comes to men, that when it comes down to it we women tend to think we know far more than we really do about the men in our lives. Just two of the ideas that we have come to take as fact are that men only think about sex so they can have a good thrill but that when all things are considered they'd just rather skip the romance that most women crave. Not true, according to the astounding results shown at the end of Feldhahn's research.

This book should be a must read for all women. Reading it will not only open you up to a whole new world of understanding regarding men in general, but it will open up doors to you to walk through in your own personal relationships. Imagine just how much of a difference it might make in your life with your husband/significant other if you truly understood his inner clockwork. You may be like me and think you don't need any help in this department. Maybe you have a seemingly great relationship already, but wouldn't it be fantastic if because you took a little time out of your busy schedule to read this book you could then bump that relationship from fantastic to infinitely wonderful? What if you were able to garner even one new gem of understanding- one simple revelation that would make the difference between living in an ordinary marriage/relationship and living in an extraordinary one? Open your mind. Open your eyes. Open your heart. I promise, you'll learn more than you thought possible.

You'll learn a whole new way to truly meet your husband on the page he's on, a whole new way to support him, a whole new way to cherish him, and a whole new way to love him. Men and woman are alike in many ways, but we are anything but the same. Wouldn't it be great to experience the utmost truest joys of love and fulfilment in a relationship? I thought so. That's why I read this book. And I can't begin to tell you how much, in literally a short matter of days (all the longer it took me to read this book), For Women Only has impacted my life- and my husband's- for the better.

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
(Christian Living/Practical Life/Men)

Women, yes, it's true, are a complicated bunch. We say one thing when really we mean another. We act one way when really it's not how we feel. Certainly it's safe to say that women, as a gender, are a tricky bunch. We love our men and we want them to understand us- to think like we do, to act like we do. But when it comes down to it, understanding the female isn't so simply put for most guys.

That's why husband and wife team, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn decided to partner up to write the book For Men Only, a companion to Shaunti's early release, For Women Only. In For Women Only Shaunti tackled the idea of understanding the inner male. Now with For Men Only she's back, with her husband, to tackle the inner make up of the female mind. Scientific surveys and hundreds of personal interviews along with hours of research have paved the path for this relevant and revealing read.

As a woman and, more importantly, a wife, I'm excited to see the Feldhahns expose the woman's utmost inner self for the genuinely complicated but COMPLETELY understandable being that we all hold deep inside. That one that guys know about but rarely can wrap their minds around. For you see, a woman can have the most beautiful porcelain skin, a perfectly delicate body and features, gorgeous hair the color of golden rays of sunshine, and a spirit as unquestionably soft and innocent as a gentle Summer's breeze. Yet still, underneath is all, will still lie the complicated inner workings of the female heart and mind.

Men everywhere who are married or in a legitimate relationship with a woman should seriously consider checking this book out. It will open up a whole new world of understanding when it comes to knowing the women they love. Perceptions can be misleading which is why so often couples suffer hurt feelings and active discord. Something as simple as a woman wanting to vent her frustrations to the man she loves can leave him anxious and confused as to how he's supposed to deal with the situation. Little does he realize this is not the woman asking for him to somehow come up with a fix all for her problems. She merely wants him to acknowledge her feelings, and help console her in her time of need.

It's topics like this that the authors build their book on. All such simple principals that will leave women saying, "Yes!! Why didn't he know that already?!" and men saying, "OMG! Why didn't she just say that all along?!" So again, yes, women are anything but straightforward much of the time. But with a little helpful insight from Jeff and Shaunti men everywhere can begin to redefine their understanding of the women in their lives, and when all is said and done I'm most certain there will be many improved relationships because of it.

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

FIRST Wild Blog Tour: Love as a Way of Life, I Do Again, and For Couples Only

2009-02-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

Today we are doing something special for Wild Card. Since February is the month of LOVE, we have three (really four, one is a boxed set) books dealing with love. The authors are:

Dr. Gary Chapman

Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs

Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

and the books:

Love as a Way of Life Devotional by Dr. Gary Chapman

WaterBrook Press (October 7, 2008)

I Do Again by Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs

WaterBrook Press (December 16, 2008)

For Couples Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

Multnomah Books (January 13, 2009)

ABOUT THE AUTHORs:

Love as a Way of life Devotional by Dr. Gary Chapman

Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of twenty-six books, including Love As a Way of Life and the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages. An internationally respected marriage and family-life expert, he hosts the daily radio program A Love Language Minute. Dr. Chapman and his wife, Karolyn, live in North Carolina, where he serves on a church staff.

Visit the author's website.

Product Details:

List Price: $13.99
Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: WaterBrook Press (October 7, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0307444694
ISBN-13: 978-0307444691

I Do Again by Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs

Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs are the founders of Hope Matters Marriage Ministries, and for the past several years they have shared their incredible story of a marriage restored with audiences across the nation. Jeff is an account manager with OshKosh B'Gosh, and Cheryl has served as director of the Frisco, Texas, office of the Center for Christian Counseling. They live in Dallas, Texas with their two college-age daughters

Visit the author's website.

Product Details:

List Price: $13.99
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: WaterBrook Press (December 16, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1400074452
ISBN-13: 978-1400074457

For Couples Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn

Shaunti Feldhahn is a public speaker and the best-selling
author of several books. She contributes the conservative opinion for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's popular online "Woman to Woman" column, which is syndicated nationwide.

Jeff Feldhahn is an attorney and the CEO of the tech company World2One. Jeff and Shaunti each hold graduate degrees from Harvard University. They are active small-group leaders in their Atlanta-area and the parents of two.

Visit the author's website.

Product Details:

List Price: $19.95
Hardcover
Publisher: Multnomah Books (January 13, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1601422482
ISBN-13: 978-1601422484

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTERs:

Part 1

Love as a New Way of Life

Bedtime Stories

I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

—ROMANS 8:38–39

When my grandchildren were toddlers, I read many books to them about farms, the alphabet, and how to have good manners. A more subtle theme among children’s picture books is unconditional love. “Mama, do you love me?” a child asks her mother. “How much do you love me?” a bunny asks his father. With a variety of settings and characters, countless books represent children asking, “What if I ran away? What if I hurt you? What if I traveled to the moon or broke a vase or hit my sister? Would you still love me?”

“Yes,” the parent says. “I will love you no matter what. I will always love you.”

These cozy bedtime stories reflect a universal need that we never outgrow: the need to know that someone, somewhere, loves us without restraint or condition. What a gift we give each other when we communicate that kind of love every day. We might not say it with words. In fact, we might choose to love by not speaking but by being patient in the face of frustration, kind when someone is rude to us, or humble when it would be easier to talk about our accomplishments. But every time we are purposeful about making love a way of life, we are affirming what we each need to hear— and what God speaks to us every day: You are loved. No matter what. Forever and always.

Thought

How would truly believing God loves you—no matter what—change your thoughts and actions in the next twenty-four hours?

Prologue

Cheryl

October 1999

Do you, Jeff, take Cheryl to be your wife, to love her, honor her, and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for as long as you both shall live?”

I looked into Jeff ’s eyes and held both of his trembling hands. He looked back at me, but neither of us could see very well for the tears—mine boldly streaming down my cheeks.

“I do.” Jeff ’s voice was low but strong. The words echoed in my mind.

I do. I do.

The minister repeated the words, this time to me, and it was my turn to say it.

I do. I meant it with every fiber of my being. I wanted to shout it to everyone within hearing distance, scrawl it on the walls, write it in the sky. “I do!” I glanced around me. The tiny chapel nestled in the Colorado mountains was awash with rainbow-hued sunlight streaming through stained glass windows, as if God was personally pouring down his blessings on our little ceremony. I felt a chill run down my spine.

“What token of your love do you offer?”

Jeff and I watched as our twin daughters, eleven years old and sparkling in off-white dresses with matching shoes and tights, stepped forward to offer the minister our wedding bands. Brand-new rings, simple and elegant, perfect for our brand-new life.

“With this ring, I thee wed.” ”We repeated the words, mindful that we’d said them before but knowing this time it was different. I could barely remember the ceremony seventeen years earlier when I’d first promised to love, honor, and cherish Jeff. I didn’t keep my promise. But this time I would. As Jeff ’s eyes locked on to mine, I knew he was thinking the same thing.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Such simple words: Now. Husband.Wife.

So familiar, yet so…unbelievable. How long had I anticipated this moment? Seven years, for sure. Or was it more like eighteen? my entire life? Jeff and I shared a kiss and then pulled our daughters into the embrace. A family hug. We squeezed each other tightly while our tears flowed, and it was all I could do to keep my knees from buckling. We stood there, embracing, wiping each other’s tears, and laughing together. I smiled at my incredible husband, my heart overflowing with gratitude. So much gratitude. A whole new life together. It couldn’t possibly be real. We were a family again. Who would have thought? Who in the world could ever have thought this would happen?

One

Cheryl

2007

I don’t love him anymore.” Amy has barely gotten herself settled on the couch in my office when she blurts out her opening line. She is brunette, petite, and cute, wearing fashionable jeans and just a touch of makeup. She’s the picture of a suburban, got-it-all-together mom—every hair in place, her haircut the latest in chic. Only her expression gives her away. She stares at me, defiant. I recognize the anger. Been there, done that.

“Your husband. ”Who else would she be talking about?

“Actually, I don’t know if I ever loved him.”

Here we go again, I think, my stomach clenching. How many times have I heard the grief, seen the desperation, felt the rage? How many times has my heart broken for a despairing woman who’s come for counseling because she’s lost all hope of her marriage ever working? There are so many hurting couples, so many troubled souls.

“Okay. Let’s talk about it.” I open my notepad and prepare to hear the familiar words. She has no feelings left. She is numb. Wants out of the marriage. Never should have married him in the first place. What was she thinking? Picked the wrong guy. Amy takes a breath and hardly veers from the speech I’d anticipated.

“We’re separated right now. John doesn’t love me—he doesn’t even know me. It feels like he never wanted to know me. We don’t talk—we never have. He doesn’t care who I am.” She pauses. “I know this is wrong. I feel bad about the kids and everything, but I can’t take it anymore. I don’t feel like I can do this one more day.” She looks away. There is more, but she’s suddenly clammed up.

“Sounds like you’re in a lot of pain.”

She fidgets. Her stony glare has departed, and now her eyes flit around the edges of the room. I try again.

“Can you tell me why you don’t love him anymore?”

“I told you—he doesn’t love me. It’s dead. There’s nothing there. This

isn’t a marriage. I’m done.”

“Why did you want to talk to me?”

“I just… I didn’t know what to do. I want out. But I know I’m supposed to…you know, try. Everyone says get counseling. So here I am.”

“Are you looking for a way out, or are you hoping we might find a way to make your marriage work?”

The defiant stare is back. She looks at me, her eyes steely. “No, I… I

can’t do it.” She is suddenly looking at her lap. I consider her eyes, her body language. I try to listen to the words she hasn’t spoken. She’s clearly battered, beaten up emotionally. She feels unloved and worthless. And I wonder, Has she met someone who makes her feel loved again?

I’ve never met Amy before, but I’ve seen her countless times, sitting here on my office couch…or sobbing to me over coffee. Other Amys. Other women who find themselves at the same terrible crossroads. I was Amy once. And while my heart breaks for her, it simultaneously surges with hope. If only… Oh, God…My silent words are a prayer, both for Amy and for me.

Cheryl

1992

August 21, 1992. The worst day of my life. Ten years after walking down the aisle as a young, hope-filled bride, I walked into a courtroom to claim a different kind of hope: liberation from my awful marriage. This was the day I’d obtain the freedom to be with my new love, the soul mate I thought I’d finally found. Today I’d hold in my hands the piece of paper I’d been coveting, the ticket to a whole new and much better life. I stood in front of the judge and told him I wanted a divorce. Earlier that morning, I lay in bed for a moment after shutting off the alarm, groggy with sleep. Something’s happening today. What is it? I tried to clear the fog from my brain, and then my heart lurched as I remembered. Today’s the day! I waited for the excitement to kick in. You’re free today, Cheryl! You’ve been waiting for this for so long! But I felt heavy and unable to move. What is wrong with me? The morning passed in a haze as I readied Brittany and Lauren for preschool and got the three of us out the door. I tried to ignore the dull ache in my stomach. Breakfast was out of the question, and it was all I could do to sip a cup of coffee. After dropping off the girls, I sat in traffic on my way to the Collin County Courthouse in McKinney, Texas. With a few moments to think, I tried talking some sense into myself. Buck up, girl! This is what you wanted…the day you’ve been waiting for! You’re finally going to be happy. For the tiniest moment, I glimpsed a truth I didn’t want to see through a crack in the strong facade I’d built around myself. What if I was making a mistake? What if my traitorous stomach was trying to tell me something?

No. I won’t go there. I’m almost to the courthouse; I’m about to get what I wanted. I’ve always worked so hard, and getting what I want has never come easily. Right now, what I want is freedom, and by gosh, I am going to get it. I can’t allow any negative thoughts to distract me. The cold institutional hallway of the courthouse gave me shivers as I stood waiting for an elevator. Although the hustle and bustle of people surrounded me, I had never felt more alone. But I had on a classy suit, stylish heels, and my best determined smile, and I maintained my composure like a pro. Nobody would know I had the least bit of emotion in me. The reality was that feelings swirled in side my head and my heart, and I just wanted to go home, pull the covers over my head, and pretend my life did not exist. I met my attorney at the door of the courtroom.

“Good morning.” His voice was low and smooth, all business. “Today’s the day.”

I nodded, uncharacteristically mute. I don’t remember what happened next. I suppose there were other cases before the judge, other lives being turned upside down. All I know for sure is that my internal battle was raging and I fought to keep it quiet, to disregard it altogether, and make sure the cool detached expression remained plastered on my face. Finally it was my turn, and I stood, trembling visibly, next to my lawyer, facing the judge. Words were spoken; questions were asked. Did I want a divorce? Yes. But at the moment, I couldn’t remember why.

The judge wanted to know why my husband wasn’t there. How could I tell him that Jeff had not wanted the divorce? That he’d fought against it? Through tears of anguish he’d pleaded with me to change my mind. He prayed for reconciliation. He hoped for another chance. He yearned for my heart to soften. But he lost. At that instant, standing in the courtroom, I felt like a horrible person.

I wanted to turn to the strangers around me and let them know I was a good person. I really was. I loved being a wife and wanted to be a good one. I absolutely loved being a mom. Yet I could not go on in the emptiness…or in the dreadful lack of intimacy. I was dedicated and loyal, trustworthy and sweet. But I could not see any other way out of the chronic ache I had felt for years. I had worked it out in my mind and saw no option other than to escape and start over. I knew I would have a label now, even in Jeff ’s mind, of being an adulterer and a mean person. But the truth was that I was broken and hurting. How could I tell everyone this when my actions seemed to say the opposite?

“Jeff needed to work today,” I told the judge, who nodded. I don’t think he believed it for a second. Jeff was at the office, all right. I stood in front of the bench, wondering what was running through his mind as he sat at his desk attempting to work. Would he cry? Was he angry? How was he dealing with the fact that his marriage and family were being ripped apart? How did he feel knowing he would soon officially be a single, divorced dad? And what right had I to be worried about any of that? I was the cause of it. It was a little late for me to be worried about Jeff ’s feelings.

“Divorce granted.” The gavel went down with an authoritative thud.

Was it my imagination, or did the judge look a little sad? Perhaps disappointed. I wondered what it must be like to preside over the dissolution of families all day long. That word—dissolution—so cold and impersonal. I think the judge knew better. I think he knew he was seeing devastation… wreckage…sorrow…and there was nothing he could do but bang his gavel. The sound of that gavel nearly did me in. My hand went to my chest as I felt my heart explode into palpitations like I’d never felt before. The urge to throw up became overwhelming, and it took every ounce of willpower to steady myself and walk to the rear of the courtroom.

My echoing footsteps seemed to pound in my head as I walked down the dreary hallway. Next to me, my attorney was oblivious, moving quickly as always, focused on his dinner plans or his next case. He stopped when we reached the front entrance to the courthouse. At the top of the steps, he offered his hand.

“Congratulations,” he said, giving me a satisfied, I-just-won-a-case smile.

“Mmm hmm…” I shook his hand, but could not muster a response.

“Congratulations.” Did I deserve that? Did he? Something told me the answer was no. But this was what I’d wanted, fought for, worked toward. And here it was. As I drove away from the courthouse, I finally admitted to myself that I was confused. I had honestly expected to feel elated on this day, ready to break out the champagne and celebrate. I hadn’t allowed myself to doubt the course I was on. For over two years I had known in my heart that divorce was the right way to go. The only way to go. It was the single remedy I could fathom for my despairing hopelessness—the only way to find happiness. It was the only way to finally be with my new love, who was even now awaiting my phone call. I scolded myself for being so emotional and decided it was just the newness of the situation that was making me feel so desolate. Soon the excitement of freedom would kick in. Besides, I had no time for wallowing. I had to get to the bank. I stood in the crowded line, tapping my foot, my eyes darting around impatiently at all the people waiting to do their banking. Was anyone else here to divide up a shared existence? It struck me as odd that a relationship— a life—could be reduced to a few lines on a computer screen and declared finished as the numbers were separated and allocated. One life becomes two, just like that. Visions of my sweet family flashed in my mind—family portraits, candid shots—but I thrust them away, an expert now at doing so.

“How are you today?” the teller asked, as I pushed my paperwork toward her.

“Okay.” I managed a bittersweet smile. As she clicked her keyboard and took care of the details of financial distribution, she must have known better. But she gave me a perky smile right back.

“Let me go print out the checks.” She walked away as I nodded. Half an hour later I stood hesitantly at Jeff ’s office and gave a small knock. He looked up and slowly leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head. His red and swollen eyes spoke volumes. But his face was hard, giving nothing away. If I had to say what I saw in his expression, I would have said disbelief. He truly could not fathom that this was happening. I inched my way toward his desk and held out the check for his half. I couldn’t say anything, and neither could he. Jeff looked at the check, then as he tilted his head, his eyes met mine. His hand did not lift to take the check. Slowly I lowered it to the desk, and Jeff ’s eyes followed it. He stared at the piece of paper. I read his mind and answered silently. Yes, this is what it comes down to. A number with a dollar sign next to it.

I turned and walked slowly toward the door. When I got there, I stopped and faced him again, my eyes brimming with tears and my heart aching with sorrow. I wanted to run into his arms but held myself back, briefly wondering at this crazy desire. What was wrong with me? The look on his face stung. I couldn’t believe that after all this time he could still appear so…shocked. I had to ask him a question.

“Did you really think this was going to happen?”

I don’t know what I expected him to say. Part of me harbored an irrational hope that Jeff would suddenly be happy about the divorce—that he would confirm that I’d done the right thing. I needed to hear it. I needed absolution.

“Not until this very moment, Cheryl.”

For a moment I stood paralyzed as the truth hit me. There is not a more heartbreaking sight in the world than a man whose spirit has been crushed. That was the man I saw in front of me. My ex-husband. I quietly opened the door and walked out of Jeff ’s office, out of his life. For good, I thought. My life and my family’s lives were changed forever.

Boxed Set:

RETHINKING

RANDOM

Why you need a new map of the female universe

Like some guys I know, you might be tempted to skip this introduction and jump right to the sex chapter. And if you’re chuckling right now, it probably means you already did it. Or were about to. It’s not a bad choice, actually. Just a little self-defeating. If you’ve been in a committed relationship with a woman for more than, say, a day, you know that going just for what you want isn’t actually going to get you what you want for very long. A week, maybe? But let’s be honest—one of the main reasons you’re looking at this book is that you are trying to get something you want. Not sex (well, not just sex), but a more fulfilling, harmonious relationship with your wife, one that isn’t quite so hard or confusing. And the back cover gave you the wild idea that understanding her might actually be possible. Either that, or for some reason, the woman in question just handed you this book. Hmmm. Well, either way, take a look at the revelations we’ve uncovered. We think you’ll be convinced. Each chapter explains things about the woman you love that may have often left you feeling helpless, confused, or just plain angry. Each chapter points out simple, doable solutions. The only genius required is that you make a decision up front that you’re willing to think differently. This is a short book, but if you read it cover to cover, you’ll walk away with your eyes opened to things you may have never before understood about your wife or girlfriend.

__Each chapter points out simple, doable solutions.

That’s what happened with me—Jeff. And I’m just your average, semi-confused guy. (Actually, sometimes totally confused is more accurate.) And since us average, semi-confused guys have to stick together, that’s why, even though Shaunti and I are both authoring this book, I’ll be the one doing most of the talking.

First, Some Background

In 2004 Shaunti published For Women Only:What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men, which quickly became a bestseller. Based on a nationally representative survey, scores of focus groups, and other research, it opened women’s eyes to things that most of us guys had always wished our wives knew. Things like, most of us need to feel respected even more than loved. Or besides just getting enough sex, men also have a huge need to feel sexually desired by our wives. I’m not sure exactly why, but women everywhere were shocked. To me, those revelations seemed obvious. But by the flood of letters from around the country—from both women and their grateful husbands—we’ve seen how much good can come when the opposite sex finally has their eyes opened to things they simply didn’t understand before.

_♦I’m not sure exactly why, but women everywhere were shocked by how men thought.

In this book, the shock is on the other foot. Now it’s been Shaunti’s turn to say, over and over, “I can’t believe you didn’t already know that!” When Shaunti’s publisher first approached us about doing a companion to For Women Only to help men understand women, I had two major concerns. First, I didn’t think guys would read a “relationship” book since, for most of us, the last relationship book we read was in premarital counseling— and then only because we were forced to. But more to the point, I doubted that a woman could ever be understood. Compared to other complex matters—like the tides, say, or how to figure a baseball player’s ERA—women seemed unknowable. Random even. I explained my skepticism to one early focus group of women:

Jeff: Guys tend to think that women are random. We think, I pulled this lever last week and got a certain reaction. But when I pulled that same lever this week, I got a totally different reaction. That’s random! Woman in group: But we aren’t random! If you pull the lever and get a different reaction, either you’re pulling a different lever, or you’re pulling it in a different way.

Shaunti: What men need is a sort of map to their wives. Because we can be mapped. We can be known and understood terrain.

Jeff: See, guys think of a woman as a swamp: You can’t see where you’re stepping, and sooner or later you just know you’re going to get stuck in quicksand. And the more you struggle to get free, the deeper you get sucked in. So every guy on the planet knows that the best thing to do is just shut down and hope somebody comes along to rescue you. When I came to, Shaunti and the other women in the focus group assured me—and I have since seen for myself— that guys don’t have to live in a swamp. That realization led us to the eventual subtitle of this book: “A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women.”

∞_“Guys think of a woman as a swamp: You can’t see where you’re stepping, and sooner or later you just know you’re going to get stuck in quicksand.”

The Seven Revelations

The most important key to “de-swamping” the woman in your life is to realize that some of your basic assumptions about her may be either too simplistic or flat wrong. By simplistic, I mean that we tend to operate with a partial or surface understanding of our wife or girlfriend. And to make matters worse, most guys have no idea how to make their limited understanding work in actual practice. For example, most guys have heard that women want security. Okay—but what does that mean, exactly? A regular paycheck? A big house? A growing retirement fund? It’s a huge shocker to talk to hundreds of women and find that while financial security is nice, it isn’t nearly as important to them as feeling emotionally secure—feeling close and confident that you will be there for her no matter what. And believe it or not, ensuring emotional security turns out to be a lot easier than ensuring the financial security you are probably busting your tail to provide. For Men Only will help you move from surface understandings to the all-important recognition of what those things mean in everyday life with your woman. Once you start testing out these findings, I think you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes for both of you.

__For Men Only will help you move from surface understanding to recognizing what those things mean in everyday life.

The book is organized around six major findings outlined on the next page. Some of these will be surprises to you. Some won’t, at least to begin with. (But that’s the thing about “swamps”—what you see is rarely what is really there.)

OUR SURFACE

UNDERSTANDING

WHAT IT MEANS

IN PRACTICE

Women need to feel loved. Even if your relationship is great, your mate likely has a fundamental insecurity about your love—and when that insecurity is triggered, she may respond in ways that confuse or dismay you until she feels reassured.

Women are emotional. Women deal with multiple thoughts and emotions from their past and present all the time, at the same time—and these can’t be easily dismissed.

Women want security— in other words, financial security. Your woman needs emotional security and closeness with you so much that she will endure financial insecurity to get it. She doesn’t want you to fix it; she just wants you to listen. When she is sharing an emotional problem, her feelings and her desire to be heard are much more important than the problem itself. She doesn’t want much sex; she must not want me. Physically, women tend to crave sex less often than men do—and it is usually not related to your desirability. She wants to look attractive. Inside your smart, secure wife lives a little girl who deeply needs to know that you find her beautiful—and that you only have eyes for her.

How We Found Out: Our Methodology

For nearly a year, Shaunti and I worked to identify inner “map terrain” areas that are common to most women but that most guys tend not to understand. Besides conducting hundreds of in-person interviews, we gathered huge amounts of anecdotal information at dozens of women’s events where Shaunti was presenting materials from For Women Only. I spoke with stay-at-home moms, business owners, and secretaries; on airplanes, in focus groups, and over Shaunti’s book table as she was mobbed after women’s conferences. And I sifted through hundreds of e-mails and forum postings from Shaunti’s 4-womenonly.com website. In all these venues, I was really just the “embedded male.” Like the reporters who rode with the armored cavalry divisions at the opening of the Iraqi war, I kept my helmet on, my head down, and my notebook handy.

_ I was the “embedded male.” I kept my helmet on, my head down, and my notebook handy.

After all that research, we did a scientific national survey. As Shaunti had done for her previous book, we worked with survey-design expert Chuck Cowan, former chief of census design for the U.S. Census Bureau, and professional survey company Decision Analyst. They came together to help us design and conduct a groundbreaking, representative survey of four hundred women all over the country. In the end, between interviews, surveys, events, and other input, we estimate that well over three thousand women provided input for this book. I know you’ll be fascinated by the results. While some of the findings may be challenging or difficult to accept, most men have been surprised by how helpful many of these truths are and how simple they are to implement for a better, easier relationship.

The Map Key

Before we tackle each of the findings, some pointers on reading the map:

• This book holds to a biblical world view. Our aim is to be relevant and revealing, no matter what your worldview is. But because Shaunti and I view life through our Christian faith, we have seen that these findings are consistent with biblical principles. We believe that relationships are most fulfilling when both people have a common commitment to serving Jesus Christ. We do not quote very heavily from Scripture, but we do draw from and reference it as the only truly dependable guidebook for relationships. For example, our starting-point assumption is that husbands need to love their wives just as Jesus does us—which means to love, serve, and be willing to sacrifice everything for her good, even above our own.

• This is not a comprehensive marriage book. There are already plenty of marriage books on the market—including many terrific ones from Christian experts. So we stay away from well covered topics and areas that guys already tend to have a handle on, and we leave the heavy-duty theological discussions for those books. (If you want to investigate those further, we list several recommended resources at our website, www.formenonlybook.com.) Also, while we are writing more for married men, these insights will be helpful for anyone in a committed male-female relationship. That said, if your relationship is seriously on the rocks, this little book will probably open your eyes in some important areas, but it is not designed to cover a real crisis situation. We encourage you to get the kind of counsel and support your marriage deserves.

• This is not an equal treatment. Just as For Women Only was purposefully one-sided—and if your wife read it, you may have benefited from that fact—so is this book. Yes, you have needs too, and there certainly may be relationship issues arising because she doesn’t understand you. But For Women Only addresses many of those, and this book is not about them. This is only about the inner lives of women, and we’re focusing entirely on how men relate to women, not the other way around. (That is also why the survey only polled heterosexual women.)

• There are exceptions to every rule. Recognize that when I say “most women” appear to think a certain way, “most” does not mean all. We make generalizations out of necessity to be helpful in the widest number of circumstances possible. Inevitably there will be exceptions.

• Our findings may not be politically correct, but we try to be true to the evidence. As a newspaper columnist on women’s issues, Shaunti sometimes receives e-mails from women complaining that she is doing exactly what we intend to do in this book—making generalizations about women. Add the fact that I, as a guy, am daring to make those generalizations, and we recognize the potential for controversy. We don’t quite know how to get around that, so we decided to just report what we learned. (For any woman sneaking a peak: We do not intend to be offensive; we just want to speak frankly to men, from a man’s viewpoint, about you. Our sole intention is to help your man understand and love you better. Even if we have to poke fun at the male preoccupation with sex to do it.)

_♦We decided to just report what we learned.

The Thing to Do Next

We think in the pages ahead you’re going to receive a lot of very promising invitations to try some new things. Most are incredibly simple, but they may not come naturally. At least at first. Of course, if all you read about here is already instinctive to you, you wouldn’t be troubled by randomness, confusion, frustration…and did I mention swamps? My encouragement to you: Give the process time as you retrain years of incorrect assumptions and counterproductive reactions. Bring a humble attitude. Be willing to practice. Believe it can be done. Because I’ve learned that it can be. After several months of being the embedded male, I was watching a movie with Shaunti one night. Halfway through, I casually mentioned that I didn’t like the way one female character treated another. Shaunti sat up on the couch, grinned, and said, “You’re thinking like a girl!” Now, she meant it as high praise, but in the small Midwest town where I grew up, that kind of talk could get a guy slugged. But then I realized: Maybe I had learned a valuable thing or two about the female universe, just by listening in. Here’s hoping that you do, too.

LIGHTBULB ON!

How I Woke Up to What I Didn’t

Know About Men

The other half of the people

on the planet already know what

you’re going to read in this book.

As newlyweds, my husband and I lived in Manhattan, and like all New Yorkers we walked everywhere. But I quickly noticed something strange. Quite often we’d be strolling hand in hand and Jeff would abruptly jerk his head up and away. We’d be watching in-line skaters in Central Park or waiting to cross the street in a crowd, and he would suddenly stare at the sky. I started to wonder, Is something going on at the tops of these buildings? Turns out, something was going on, but it wasn’t up in the buildings. Have you ever been totally confused by something the man in your life has said or done? Have you ever wondered, looking at his rapidly departing back, Why did that make him so angry? Have you ever been perplexed by your husband’s defensiveness when you ask him to stop working so much? Yeah? Me too. But now, after conducting spoken and written interviews with more than one thousand men, I can tell you that the answers to those and dozens of other common perplexities are all related to what is going on in your man’s inner life. Most are things he wishes you knew but doesn’t know how to tell you. In some cases, they’re things he has no idea you don’t know. This book will share those interviews and those answers. But be careful, ladies. You might be slapping your forehead a lot!

•I can tell you that the answers to dozens of other common perplexities are related to what is going on in your man’s inner life.

HOW IT ALL STARTED…

Let me tell you how I got here. It all started with the research for my second novel, The Lights of Tenth Street. One of the main characters was a man, a devoted, godly husband and father. Because I wanted this character’s thought life to closely resemble what real men deal with, I interviewed my husband, Jeff, and many other male friends to try to get inside their heads. It took me a while to figure out how to handle what I found. You see, in the novel my character had a secret struggle: He loved his wife and kids and was a devoted follower of Christ, but he liked looking at women and had a constant battle with his thought life. A constant day-by-day, even minute-by minute battle with the temptations that beckoned from every corner of our culture, from the secret traps of the Internet to the overt appeal of the miniskirt walking down the street. In short—and this is what was such a surprise to me— instead of being unusual, my character was like almost every man on the planet. Including the devoted Christian husbands I was interviewing. That revelation led to others, on a half-dozen other subjects, and following those trails led to the hundreds of personal and written interviews with men—including a professional survey—that form the core of this book. I interviewed close friends over dinner and strangers in the grocery store, married fathers at church and the single student sitting next to me on the airplane. I talked to CEOs, attorneys, pastors, technology geeks, business managers, the security guard at Costco, and the guys behind the counter at Starbucks. I even interviewed a professional opera singer and a former NFL offensive tackle with a Super Bowl ring. No one was safe.

Light bulb on!

It turned out that these men shared some surprisingly common inner wiring. At their secret inner core, many had similar fears and concerns, feelings and needs.

•oThese revelations were mostly things that my own husband always wished I knew, but couldn’t figure out how to explain.

I discovered that there were many things I thought I understood about men—but really didn’t. In several areas, my understanding was purely surface-level. Once I got below the surface and into specifics, everything changed. I felt like a cartoon character who suddenly had a light bulb over my head. Even better, it turned out that those revelations were mostly about things that my own husband always wished I knew but couldn’t figure out how to explain. And that was a common refrain from most of the men I talked to. Although I still make many mistakes in my relationship with my husband—and will continue to!—finally grasping these things has hopefully helped me to better appreciate and support him in the way that he needs. I want that light bulb to go on for you as well

••We all know, for example, that “men are visual,” but, well…what exactly does that mean?

Why was this surprising?

In a way, I was surprised to be so…surprised. We women think we know many things about a man’s inner life. We all know, for example, that “men are visual,” but, well…what exactly does that mean? It turns out that what that means in practice is the key thing—the specific insight that will help you be a better wife, girlfriend, or mother. Using the “visual” example, the difference is vast between having the vague notion that men are visual and knowing that the sexy commercial he just watched has become a mental time bomb that will rise up and assault him the next day. The difference is vast between helplessly wondering what is going on in his head and having the insight of hundreds of men to help you understand not only what is going on, but also how to support him. Actually, there was a kind of double surprise in this research. When I interviewed men and drew some conclusions, they would often say, “But women already know that…surely they know that.” All too frequently, I found myself replying, “Well, I didn’t know that.” I began to realize that there’s so much about men that we don’t understand— and that men don’t even know we don’t know. And that sort of misunderstanding is the stuff that gives birth to a lot of conflict.

SEVEN REVELATIONS

So here are the revelations this book is going to cover— seven translations from “surface level” to “in practice” that you, like me, may not have realized before. As with all of us, the inner life of a man is a package, with these elements melded and wrapped up inside. Whether you are relating to a husband, boyfriend, or son, it is impossible to understand one part of his inner life in isolation. Every area affects every other area, and I’m only covering those few areas that I thought were the most important or helpful.

The survey

Thankfully, these revelations are also backed up by evidence— a groundbreaking professional survey of hundreds of men. Since I found no survey data like this on the market, two sets of experts, Chuck Cowan at Analytic Focus, the former chief of survey design at the U.S. Census Bureau, Our Surface What That Means Understanding in Practice and Cindy Ford and the survey team at Decision Analyst, came together to help me conduct this survey.

“Men need respect” ➺ Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected.

“Men are insecure” ➺ Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like impostors and are insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.

“Men are providers” ➺ Even if you personally made enough income to support the family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide.

“Men want more sex” ➺ Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life.

“Men are visual” ➺ Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women.

“Men are unromantic clods” ➺ Actually, most men enjoy romance (sometimes in different ways) and want to be romantic—but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed.

“Men care about appearance” ➺ You don’t need to be a size 3, but your man does need to see you making the effort to take care of yourself—and he will take on significant cost or inconvenience in order to support you.

The survey was blind, done at random, and meticulously planned and executed. Four hundred anonymous men across the country, ranging in age from twenty-one to seventy-five, answered two dozen questions about their lives and about how they think, what they feel, and what they need. The survey stressed that we weren’t dealing with outward behavior as much as with the inner thoughts and emotions that led to their behavior. Later, because the survey itself inevitably led to additional revelations, I conducted a more informal follow-up survey of another four hundred anonymous men—this time, specifically churchgoers—to ask a few additional questions (and some of the same ones). And later yet, I validated several of those additional insights with a second Decision Analyst survey. Amazingly, across all these surveys there were very few differences. After all the surveying, the results of my personal interviews were confirmed. Not only had I heard the same things over and over—quotes that I will include in the following pages—but those anecdotal results were now backed up by statistically valid evidence. I hadn’t just happened to interview the hundred weirdest men on the planet! (Since I am an analyst and not a psychologist, and since my grad-school statistics professor might politely question the statistical skills of someone who needed a whole semester to learn regression analysis, I was quite relieved that professional statisticians confirmed my findings!)

••Results were backed up by statistically valid evidence. I hadn’t just happened to interview the hundred weirdest men on the planet!

In the end, the men I spoke with and surveyed appear to have been extremely transparent and honest about some very personal subjects. So, men—whoever you are—I thank you.

BEFORE WE START:

GROUND RULES

You’re probably rarin’ to turn the page, but before you get to look inside the inner lives of men, here are some ground rules:

• First, if you are looking for male-bashing or proof that your husband is indeed a cad, you won’t find it here. I honor the men who shared their hearts with me, and I hope that by sharing their insight, more women might come to understand and appreciate the wonderful differences between us.

•If you are looking for male-bashing or proof that your husband is indeed a cad, you won’t find it here.

• Second, this is not an equal treatment of male female differences, nor do I deal at all with how your man can or should relate to you. Yes, we women obviously also have needs, and many of the truths discussed in these pages apply to us too. But since the theme is the inner lives of men and my space is limited, I’m focusing entirely on how we relate to men, not the other way around. (That is also why the survey did not poll gay men.)

• Third, recognize that there are always exceptions to every rule. When I say that “most men” appear to think a certain way, realize that “most” means exactly that—most, not all. I’m making generalizations out of necessity, and inevitably there will be exceptions. One reason I did the professional survey was to determine what was an exception and what was normal.

• Fourth, I’m addressing what is normal inside men, not necessarily what is right in their outward behavior. And since these pages are not the place for a lengthy exploration of any one issue, you can always go to www.4-womenonly.com to explore more resources, including the entire survey.

• Fifth, I need to warn you that some of the enclosed insight may be distressing because it affects our view of the men in our lives and our view of ourselves. It was tempting to exclude certain things, but I realized that I was hearing things men often weren’t willing or able to say directly to their spouses or girlfriends. So it was critical to include these comments. But please realize that in most cases, these comments have little to do with us— they are just the way men are wired. And we should celebrate that fact. After all, it is because he is wired as a man that you love him.

•o The more we understand the men in our lives, the better we can support and love them in the way they need to be loved.

• Finally, and most important, I hope that this book is not just about learning fascinating new secrets. The more we understand the men in our lives, the better we can support and love them in the way they need to be loved. In other words, this revelation is supposed to change and improve us. So read on, ladies, and join me as we look into the inner lives of men.

I was incredibly fortunate to receive copies of all of these books for review. Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to read them all yet. So, rather than post only a partial review, I will make a follow up post here soon with a review for each of the featured books.

Thanks!

~Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

Dead Ringer by Mary Burton

2009-02-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

Dead Ringer by Mary Burton
(Romantic Suspense)

I'm a sucker for a good suspense novel that leaves you guessing whodunnit. Dead Ringer by Mary Burton does just that. I actually changed my mind three different times on who was guilty, and in the end I was wrong. Wow! From the git go this is a story that draws you in, and it doesn't let up until the very last page.

Women are being killed in Henrico County. Aside from the fact that each victim bears a striking resemblance to the others, the cops have little to go on. Detectives Jacob Warwick and Zach Kier know the murders are tied together because the killer leaves each woman with an engraved charm. Featured on each charm is a woman's name, but this is what confuses the detectives. The names on the charms don't match those of the victims. There has to be a link, yet determining what that link might be is proving difficult.

When Jacob discovers that local news anchor, Kendall Shaw, bears an uncany likeness to the murdered women, he is more and more certain that appearance plays a far greater role than coincidence in this case. The fact that Jacob finds himself unwittingly attracted to the brass reporter leaves him feeling a personal connection to the case. He's a dedicated cop, and will do everything in his power to find out who is behind the serial killings. However, with his attraction to Shaw brewing underneath everything else, he's all the more eager to catch the psychopath responsible so as to be sure that Kendall remains safe and alive.

Kendall meanwhile plays the role of on scene investigative reporter. She isn't sure she takes Jacob's theory, that one that says she could be next, to heart, yet a girl can never be too careful. Especially when her nightmares start to plague her nightly; they alone are enough to push a person over the edge. Coupled with the rash of murders and the thoughts that Jacob has put in to her head, Kendall knows she must get to the bottom of the story if only to set her mind at ease.

Her recent obsession with discovering more about her past, from before she was adopted at age three, also weighs heavy on Kendall's mind. Her roommate Nicole is only a short time away from delivering her own baby, and her interaction with a local adoption agency has sparked Kendall to trace down her roots. She isn't quite certain, but the reporter inside of her suspects her past must certainly have something to do with the terrifying nightmare that plays out in her sleep each night. It's more than just a bad dream. It's like her mind is replaying a clip from her own life so very long ago. If only she could remember, maybe she could stop the nightmares and put them to bed forever.

Only time will tell if the Henrico serial killer will strike again, if Kendall is on his list, and where her nightmares are leading her.

Bone chilling. Skin prickling. Mary Burton's Dead Ringer was phenomenal. Nearly impossible to set down for a second, this edge of your seat thriller will make you think twice about your own past. They've always said, there's a double out there for all of us. Are you really who you think you are?

EDITED TO ADD: If you read my review for the Christmas anthology Silver Bells you'll be interested to know that Burton's story in it actually was written about some of the underlying characters in Dead Ringer. Apparently I read them backwards {LOL} because the storyline starts with this book, and then goes on to the short included in Silver Bells.

~ Bookish Mom, aka RebekahC

BLOG TOUR: Journey of a Strong-Willed Child by Kendra Smiley Plus Review

2009-02-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

Journey of a Strong-Willed Child by Kendra Smiley with Dr. Aaron Smiley and John Smiley (the resident Dad)

I have two daughters, ages 3 and 5, and as wonderful as they both are I'd be lying if I said we didn't struggle from time to time with some attitude issues due to stubborness. Yep, that's right. My daughters have both my own stubborness coursing through their veins and that of my husband. That's like a double dose times four (twice for each girl). Yipes! That's why I knew I couldn't let this blog tour and review opportunity pass me by.

Before reading Journey of a Strong-Willed Child I did not realize that strong-willed did not mean stubborn. I simply assumed the terms were interchangable. Though according to the authors, being stubborn means having exceptional resolve. "Being strong-willed goes way beyond being stubborn. A strong-willed child resolutely defends his position and questions any and all authority over him to determine his or her 'right' to retain control." As soon as I read that I realized that I am actually not the mother of a strong-willed child in the sense the authors have described. I couldn't stop there though because I still am the mother of a two very wonderful, albeit, stubborn girls. Even if the book didn't apply to us 100% I knew I had to keep reading. You never know what you might learn or soak up from the experience.

The parenting strategies that Smiley brings light to in this fast paced read are nothing that any regular parent can't apply in his or her own home. Strong-willed child or not, kids will be kids. So most of the principles can apply in any household. Take for instance Smiley's point on being consistant and persistant. If you aren't you can't expect your child to A.) believe you'll follow through, B.) will find yourself running out of options. The example she gave was about potty training. With her first child there wasn't any issue when it came to potty training, but she quickly learned with her second child that every child is different. When one method didn't work for her second son she'd quickly move on to another. This, in a sense, allowed her son to set the ground rules because he was the one choosing when and when not to go to the toilet based on what he wanted to do. He was capable of going, he just chose not to go if he didn't want to.

I loved how scriptural back up was interspersed throughout each chapter, and I really enjoyed the overall matter of fact way the Smiley family came together to write this book. Having the opportunity to view all sides of the family dynamic allowed for an all inclusive look at raising and/or being a strong-will child. Readers can see what both parents thought and did about certain aspects of raising their strong-willed son, Aaron. But then in retrospect we also get to see what the adult Aaron has to say about it from his perspective. It's very enlightening.

And now for a few words from the author(s).

First off, tell us a little bit about your background and your family.
I am the youngest of three . . . Youngest by 10 years. I am the adult child of an alcoholic. My dad was a “pillar of the community,” a very able and talented dentist and an alcoholic. I grew up in a small town and was an overachiever who attended the University of Illinois (BS 1974), and received an MS from the University of North Dakota. My husband, John, and I have been married for 36+ years and actually like and love one another. We have three grown sons, three daughters-in-law and three grand-girls (one yet unborn). John was a strong-willed child and has a great passion to help folks parent their strong-willed kids with confidence. His upbringing was much more functional.

Where did you get the idea for the book?
Our strong-willed child became a responsible adult, but it was not without great effort on our part. We witnessed so many kids who were not only strong-willed, but misunderstood. God had placed a song inside of them, but they seemed incapable of singing that song. Many times it was because of the confusion and lack of confidence of their parents.

How do you know if you have a “strong-willed” child?
Dr. Dobson, noted expert on the strong-willed child, wrote that a strong-willed child “seems to be born with a clear idea of how he (or she) wants the world to be operated and an intolerance for those who disagree.” But wait…there’s more! A strong-willed child does not necessarily want to control everyone else; he simply wants to control his world. And mom and dad, you are in the way! A strong-willed child has a strategy, so as the parent, you must have a strategy too. A strong-willed child is often defiant, but can also be charming or amusing in order to gain control. The strong-willed child is “gifted” in manipulation. He or she is willing to take punishment in order to “win,” especially if the consequence is deemed inadequate or insignificant by the child. These children are often misunderstood. They are NOT bad, or mean or stupid.

What kind of research did you have to do for the book?
Much of our research was experiential. Aaron traveled the bumpy road of a strong-willed child, and we were with him every step of the way - believing he was a gift from God. We also read books from leading psychologists with their thoughts on strong-willed children and interviewed parents who had identified their kids as strong-willed. Hearing Aaron’s thoughts and reflections on each stage of the journey was incredible.

Lastly, what do you hope readers will take away from your book?
We hope that readers will learn to love, encourage, discipline, and appreciate their strong-willed child. We believe that these kids are a wonderful gift from God and that he can give their parents wisdom to help each strong-willed child sing his or her song to God.

Feel free to check out more about Kendra, tips on parenting, and Journey of a Strong-Willed Child at Kendra's website. Want to order your own copy of Journey of a Strong-Willed Child? Click here to order it now through Amazon. To see what others had to say about this book check out some of the other blog stops from this Journey of a Strong-Willed Child tour.

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BLOG TOUR: Journey of a Strong-Willed Child by Kendra Smiley **Plus Review**

BLOG TOUR: Journey of a Strong-Willed Child by Kendra Smiley Plus Review